joanofark Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Im down a few glasses of vino. I should probably do this prior to therapy as my dr would probably appreciate more of the truth than i actually give. ha! So, how serious was your affair? I am having a rough few days after I was the one to call it quits, which I swore to MM I would NEVER in a million years do. I told him it would always end with him. I am exactly one week from me telling him, after an incredible evening, that this was IT. Now I feel as if it really is. He is/was a coward all the way. Apparently he needed me to be the one to finally end it and holy crapola, it sucks. I was basically his second wife. If you could imagine any married/dating couple. Yep, that was us. I have read threads of EA's, LTR's, co-workers, no weekends blah blah blah. The relationship I had with my MM was far beyond anything like that. I don't know. I think I am just rambling at this point. Tell me of your situation and what the outcome was. Last "break up" we had was in April (his asking for "time to sort out his life"). Lasted a few days before contact resumed and then him asking to see me, Before I finally caved just shy of a month.
PreciousOne Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I always read about women having A's and having specific times or days to spend with their MM but mine wasn't like that. I saw him everyday talked to him everyday for 8-9 years. (pathetic I know). We did everything but live together basically. To me it was very intense but I cant say how he feels about it. It ended a couple months ago but not how I wanted it to, but it ended nonetheless. I feel as if he was like your exMM and didn't have the balls to end things and wanted me to. But hey GOD works in mysterious ways!!!
jwi71 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Im down a few glasses of vino. I should probably do this prior to therapy as my dr would probably appreciate more of the truth than i actually give. ha! Why on Earth would one lie to their therapist? Just quit and use the money to go shopping or something... And ALL A's are intense. Nothing special there. 3
solostand Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Very intense right now. The more time passes, the more we bond emotionally and physically. We just spent a weekend together volunteering at a convention and it was heaven. He too is falling further in love. He told me the other day that it wasn't love he felt, it was an obsession because he thinks about me day and night. He's also pretty reckless with who sees us et cetera and I do believe he is a coward and does not want to tell the wife but if someone else does he's fine with that. I think d-day is coming very soon. There has just been too much pubic affection to avoid one, plus my name has been on her radar for a long time and her best friend was at the convention and saw us together in his vehicle and me getting out of his vehicle with a long good-bye so imagine the phone lines could be burning out right now. He said she asked about me this morning. He said she couldn't remember my name but I think that is her acting cool because she damn well knows my name. . .
BigIdiot Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 My affair was very intense. The affair lasted about 6 months, we were always saying it had to end at some point but we just couldn't do it. Eventually she finished her husband, and I finished my gf. We then got together. The End. 3
ConfusedMarriedOW Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 extremely intense. All day intensity, non stop desire. Every day sadness. It was such a stupid hyper color experience.
goodyblue Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Our affair was very, very intense. We were in contact one way or another all day. We carved time early mornings and late night. Talked on the phone or sent texts all day. Thing is, we have been together now for some time and it has not changed. We are both emotionally intense people. 1
herself Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 It was extreme, though EA and not PA we were over the moon so drawn, so electric, we were platonic friends before getting married. Once we hope n ed the gate a tiny bit....the flood gates soon opened and we were in a fast moving tidal wave. All consuming... 1
cocorico Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Initially, not so intense. But over time, as we got to know each other better, it became more intense. Then after a couple of years we fell in love and knew we wanted to be together. So we are. 2
SugarHibiscus Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 My A is an intense, gluttonous, comforting, fulfilling, thrilling, painful, gratifying, stupid, reckless, maddening, blissful addictive mess. We've been at it for over a year. We talk for hours a day and see each other often. I am his second wife and he's my second husband. We've broken up a couple of times only to relapse.
Got it Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Intense. As intense as the beginning of my relationship with my ex husband. That out of control falling in love feeling. I remember hating that feeling and couldn't wait for things to mellow out. Things mellowed, I don't love him any less, but so happy for no emotional roller coaster and constant longing. I can focus on other things. 1
herself Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I'm going to assume almost all are are intense because they are often not weighed down by laundry, shopping, kids, housework, they are almost always in the honeymoon phase as they don't have the baggage some marital partnerships face. Each time I met my eap for coffee I was always looking nice and smiling, but his spouse he sees in various REAL every day states like the natural morning messy hair, cleaning, yelling at kids etc. Its not real love interaction as much as lust interaction. Of course if we were to be living together all of that mystery and perfect encounters would lose their luster. Its intense because we want what we can't have I guess.... 1
goodyblue Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I'm going to assume almost all are are intense because they are often not weighed down by laundry, shopping, kids, housework, they are almost always in the honeymoon phase as they don't have the baggage some marital partnerships face. Each time I met my eap for coffee I was always looking nice and smiling, but his spouse he sees in various REAL every day states like the natural morning messy hair, cleaning, yelling at kids etc. Its not real love interaction as much as lust interaction. Of course if we were to be living together all of that mystery and perfect encounters would lose their luster. Its intense because we want what we can't have I guess.... I am going to disagree for myself and my guy. We have been together for a while. We still have that intensity. Even with laundry and family, messy hair mornings and child rearing. We are closer, more comfortable and happier than ever. I guess part of that comes with being grateful to have found one another. I do not take one moment for granted. But that is just us. Different with everyone I guess but I don't think it is necessarily about the things you mention If we allow ourselves to get caught up in life and lose our connection it is nobody's fault but our own. If we nurture it, we can be blissful. 2
Got it Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I'm going to assume almost all are are intense because they are often not weighed down by laundry, shopping, kids, housework, they are almost always in the honeymoon phase as they don't have the baggage some marital partnerships face. Each time I met my eap for coffee I was always looking nice and smiling, but his spouse he sees in various REAL every day states like the natural morning messy hair, cleaning, yelling at kids etc. Its not real love interaction as much as lust interaction. Of course if we were to be living together all of that mystery and perfect encounters would lose their luster. Its intense because we want what we can't have I guess.... Sorry but no. We spent a great deal of time together so it did include laundry, cleaning, mucking stalls, etc. No kid stuff but I didn't have that in my marriage either. It was intense because it was intense. We are married and it is still intense at times even with all that mundane stuff that people use to excuse why they don't have passion in their relationships. 3
Moonlitgirl Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 We have both maintained a "pulled back" approach from the beginning. We don't allow ourselves to get too close. It's hard sometimes, but we expect it to last (almost 3 years so far) and the highest intensity usually fades the fastest.
shermanator Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 All consuming... started as an EA, with a couple texts here and there, then non-stop texting/talking all day for a few months. We finally caved and slept together and have gone NC right now. (only been two weeks) I'm married, she's single... I'm miserable. I miss her terribly and think about her all the time.
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