WhiskeyJack Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I've had some hard times in the relationship department. While not as difficult as others, to me they were hard. And because of all of this I'm starting to think the issue is now me. It seems to be the only common denominator. 1st boyfriend of 9 months, Cheated on me numerous times and I only found out cause some girl was like "Man I can't believe *your boyfriend* did this on New Years!". 2nd boyfriend of almost 2 years, cheated on me numerous times, I forgave and he did it again, I forgave and he left me and slept with a girl I've known my entire life the night he left me. 3rd boyfriend of 5 years, Left me out of the blue, no real reason. Most recent ex of 6 months, verbally and physically abused me but made me feel like it was nothing and made me feel like everything I was upset about was all in my head and untrue. Like WTF is wrong with me. I'm only 25. Why, why ,why.
Itspointless Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 It seems as I count the years that you have been in a relationship for most of your adult and teenage life. Perhaps it is time to spent some years alone and get to know yourself a little bit? It makes me think the same thing as kae on the confidence part. With confidence I do not mean being independent as I do not need other people. Independence means balance to me, knowing how to love yourself, knowing and accepting that we need other people too and when needed being capable asking their help. This means having the capability of being vulnerable. 1
learning_slowly Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Yes, you put up with cheating multiple times. It says to me you don't have much self esteem. Start looking at how you can make yourself happy without somebody else's approval, then someone else can add to your life. If you have your own interests, you will seem more interesting to others. Good luck
somecamel Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I've had some hard times in the relationship department. While not as difficult as others, to me they were hard. And because of all of this I'm starting to think the issue is now me. It seems to be the only common denominator. 1st boyfriend of 9 months, Cheated on me numerous times and I only found out cause some girl was like "Man I can't believe *your boyfriend* did this on New Years!". 2nd boyfriend of almost 2 years, cheated on me numerous times, I forgave and he did it again, I forgave and he left me and slept with a girl I've known my entire life the night he left me. 3rd boyfriend of 5 years, Left me out of the blue, no real reason. Most recent ex of 6 months, verbally and physically abused me but made me feel like it was nothing and made me feel like everything I was upset about was all in my head and untrue. Like WTF is wrong with me. I'm only 25. Why, why ,why. There's nothing wrong with you, you are who you are. If you want to change this repetitive cycle in your life you need to take some time to work out what it is that is making you end up with men like this? You're choosing these people so yes the problem probably is you. Take some time out, stop looking, stop chasing. You took Physical abuse from your last boyfriend. What's with the self-flagellation?
Author WhiskeyJack Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Yeah self-confidence is at an all time low for me, or it has always been at an all time low, I'm not entirely sure. And yes I have been in relationships my entire young adultness. I don't know how to be confident..
MikeyBe Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yeah self-confidence is at an all time low for me, or it has always been at an all time low, I'm not entirely sure. And yes I have been in relationships my entire young adultness. I don't know how to be confident.. You're going to have to work out your own problems before you're ready for a healthy relationship. Get some help professionally or get some support from those close to you if that's not an option. I highly suggest you do this single and stop thinking about dating. Sounds like you have bigger problems to deal with. Good luck. 1
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