WhiskeyJack Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 I've been broken up with my boyfriend for over 8 months now, and I'm no where near as over it as I should be. We dated for 5 years and lived together for 4 years. He was everything to me, yada yada. The break up was over a convo we had cause I had said he need to get off his phone when we were out with friends as it was rude, and it escalated (without yelling) to where he said "I think we should break up". I was devastated. It killed me. I had nowhere to go, slept on our couch and cried my eyes out all day at a baseball tourney the next day with all our mutual friends. We never actually told any of them and kept the break up to ourselves. I stayed at our place for 3 days until I decided to go to my dads. My ex said I could stay there as long as I need and really to this day my stuff is still at his place, and everything looks as it did the day I left. All this time I should have done NC, but I didn't. Then I tried NC for a week. I never answered any of his texts, so he started texting my sister to make sure I was ok. I couldn't handle not talking to him so I caved and have been talking to him ever since. About 1 month after the break up our not even 2 year old dog died suddenly. I instantly went back to bury her with him, we got drunk and acted like we were back to normal. I slept in our old bed and everything. I left the next day even worse than I was when we broke up. It was terrible. I moved back to town for school. Met another guy, and had what I classified as a rebound. But the guy was too invested, lied about his age, yelled in my face, accused me of cheating or looking for someone new, read the history on my computer, grabbed my phone from my hand and locked himself in his room with it, got mad if I made plans with someone else, pushed me down once, put me in a headlock basically choking me another, would tell me I blew all these things out of proportion, would lie about things and say certain times went a different way, and all and all he's not good for me. But I stayed around cause I needed the companionship. I needed someone to be there for me physically. I have distanced myself from him now, and am better with that aspect. But my ex is still always on my mind. I can't get it out of my head and its all I want. I'm a friggen mess. Everything is just to much. I'm sick of feeling this way. I don't actually know where I had intended to go with this. I'm pretty sure I should go no contact, but other than him I have no one to vent to. And not having someone like that scares the crap out of me, so I'm having a terrible time justifying NC. But I need too. Bahhhhhhhh..
mickleb Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Definitely go NC. You can come here to vent to us. Why is there absolutely no-one else in your life you can talk to but your ex (who hurt you very deeply by suddenly abandoning you)?
Author WhiskeyJack Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Thanks for the reply. Because he knows the most about me. He knows me inside and out. I'm a very guarded person and can't express feelings well to others. I have friends since I was like 9 and I couldn't tell them the things I told him. I'm not even close to my parents. I would love to have someone else in my life like that, but I haven't found someone I trust enough to hold all my demons.
jbelle6 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Yes, agree with the No contact advice. It's been 8 months and you know now that you can't keep living this way. I'm sorry about the relationship and about your puppy.
yorkie Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 awww bless you! yeah sadly though you do need to go NC, I can see how bad it is for you and yeah now is the time you need to start the long painful process of NC. I to entered into a rebound relationship and know how it feels to be messed up in that way. its long its hard but it has to be done! remember two things though! keep your chin up high cos you have done nothing wrong! and the 2nd thing and this is the hard part but say to yourself its his loss! because you know your a good person and he doesn't deserve the love you have to offer! just focus on yourself!
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