ambermoeba Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 (edited) Last night some one I've been on a couple of dates with and I were texting to discuss a club we were both intending on going to, but ended up abandoning due to the long line (it was our university's student night at the club) and ongoing thunderstorm. He then said that if I wanted company, he could walk me back in the rain. I replied saying, "I'm not sure meeting up at 1am is a good idea, but another time!"; I haven't had a reply since. Was I right to do this? Maybe I'm being a little obsessive, but perhaps I should have texted something friendlier like, "Thanks for offering, but I'd rather meet up another day!" Edited June 14, 2014 by ambermoeba
todreaminblue Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 i would not worry about meeting a guy at 1 am i have actually met quite a few i can take care of myself......deb 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 He was just going for an easy booty call...he missed this time, but he'll try again in due time...don't worry. Your response was unsure of yourself, so he should be able to see through that and with a little more pressure and because of your insecurity you should crack easily, and the gates will open. He's just going to back off for now and go "cold" but he'll try again one random day/night. 2
DArtagnan2 Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 you know the answer to this. Thats why you said what you said to him. 1
angel.eyes Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 He was after a booty call. If he were actually interested in dating you, he would plan something at a reasonable hour, not ask for an impromptu midnight visit at your place. When guys lead with a proposition for a late-night booty call, they generally don't see you as relationship material. Not worth any more mental space on your end.
Author ambermoeba Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 I'm glad to hear my gut instinct was right, but at the same time I'm pretty dissapointed... this is some one who I like a lot.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 I'm glad to hear my gut instinct was right, but at the same time I'm pretty dissapointed... this is some one who I like a lot. Maybe you should begin to like him less now after this conclusion.
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 It wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world as long as you understood what you were walking into. You didn't want that & set a boundary. Who knows it may cause him to respect you more. Either way, you stayed true to yourself which is most important. The time alone isn't the only factor. I've gone on dates at 3:00 a.m. Granted that was when I was in the bar business & didn't get out of work until 2. 1
jbelle6 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I'm glad to hear my gut instinct was right, but at the same time I'm pretty dissapointed... this is some one who I like a lot. You were right. Good for you! I wouldn't have went either. Sorry he hasn't gotten back to you though.
michellew Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 It's a good idea if you're horny! You made the right decision. If he hasn't contacted you again because you didn't meet up with him at 1am, you're much better off without him! A guy who was truly into you would respect your choice (and probably wouldn't have suggested the meet up in the first place).
TXGuy Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Last night some one I've been on a couple of dates with and I were texting to discuss a club we were both intending on going to, but ended up abandoning due to the long line (it was our university's student night at the club) and ongoing thunderstorm. He then said that if I wanted company, he could walk me back in the rain. I replied saying, "I'm not sure meeting up at 1am is a good idea, but another time!"; I haven't had a reply since. Was I right to do this? Maybe I'm being a little obsessive, but perhaps I should have texted something friendlier like, "Thanks for offering, but I'd rather meet up another day!" Am I misreading this? It looks like the two of you were separately waiting in line to get into the same club, texting each other (how else would you know there was a long line). During this text exchange, you both decided to give up on getting into the club at the same time. He offered to walk you home. You declined. If that is the case, I don't understand the hostile responses above, claiming he was trying to get a booty call. 1
michellew Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Am I misreading this? It looks like the two of you were separately waiting in line to get into the same club, texting each other (how else would you know there was a long line). During this text exchange, you both decided to give up on getting into the club at the same time. He offered to walk you home. You declined. If that is the case, I don't understand the hostile responses above, claiming he was trying to get a booty call. Even if he wasn't trying to get a booty call, wouldn't he say something like "no problem, I understand. I'll text you tomorrow...", rather than stop texting??
Author ambermoeba Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) It looks like the two of you were separately waiting in line to get into the same club, texting each other (how else would you know there was a long line). During this text exchange, you both decided to give up on getting into the club at the same time. He offered to walk you home. You declined. . I queued up with my friends and texted him before he had left the house to say it was too long to have a decent shot at getting in. He then replied saying that if I want company walking in the rain (he lives very slightly closer to the club than I do) he's around where he lives. I had a male friend look at my text and he agrees it looked like a "booty call", still with no reply since I declined. I'm pretty surprised to be honest; even though I wasn't expecting anything long term, when we went out together he did seem very much like a relationship person (talked about his family a lot, said that next time I watch "Tangled" I should invite him over!). Edited June 15, 2014 by ambermoeba
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Why would you be surprised that a man who is interested in you, asked for a meeting when you were in his neighborhood? It was a invitation of opportunity because he knew you were right there. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you or that he doesn't respect you. He's a guy. He took a shot. You said no. It's past. Are you going to write him off because he asked? That seems harsh & judgmental.
Author ambermoeba Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Are you going to write him off because he asked? That seems harsh & judgmental. I wouldn't say I've written him off; if he asks me out again I will definitely say yes. I'm more dissapointed that he hasn't contacted me since, and I'm worried that after I turned him down he might be too embarrassed to contact me. I would quite like to text and hopefully start the conversation again, but I just don't know what to say or whether its a good idea. It's complicated by the fact that in a week, once college for the year ends, we will be headed for different countries and won't ever see each other again (I'm not looking for anything long term, I was just hoping to make the most of our short term thing for another week). With that it mind I should really be taking risks, but can't quite bring myself to.
DArtagnan2 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 hmm, take a risk in what? I am assuming sleeping with him? You both will be heading in different directions never to see each other again. So you think you need to take a risk in sleeping with him, because? That's no risk. That's just saying I want to get some of what he/she has before I never see them again. Whats wrong with just saying it was nice meeting you, get a kiss on the cheek or whatnot and go your separate ways. Why sleep with him? (if that is the risk you are talking about)
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I can't imagine his ego is that fragile and if it is, so what? This guy isn't looking for a relationship with you, he just wanted to get f*cked and unless that's what you want too, stop over thinking it. And if it turns out that you could do with a bit of NSA toe-curling fun, then call him up yourself at some unGodly hour and ask if you can stop by. Simple. He'll get the message Good luck.
Author ambermoeba Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 hmm, take a risk in what? I am assuming sleeping with him? I meant taking a risk by contacting him first and maybe asking whether he'd like to meet up again, rather than waiting to see if he contacts me (definitely not sleeping with him!).
DArtagnan2 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I meant taking a risk by contacting him first and maybe asking whether he'd like to meet up again, rather than waiting to see if he contacts me (definitely not sleeping with him!). ok cool, sorry for my misunderstanding.
guest572 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I think you did the right thing, but even for a booty call.. maybe I am getting old but that is rather late.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I think you did the right thing, but even for a booty call.. maybe I am getting old but that is rather late. It's never too "late" for a booty call 1
ascendotum Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 It's never too "late" for a booty call Damn straight. Too old...ppfff. She's still at university. sheesh. Plenty of single guys will drive across town at 4am in response to a txt from a woman they fancy, well into their 30s, 40s and probably even 50s still for a booty call.
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 If college is ending & you are returning to seperate countries I doubt he's going to reach out now. Men rarely want an LDR. If you were already intimate & connected, he might be expected to try to maintain something but at this point, you are two ships that passed in the night. At most he may have been looking for one final fling before college ended. If you were both coming back next semester, I'd say reach out, initate one date, kiss him good bye & tell him to look you up in the fall.
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