harvej Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 Gents, here is my issue. I am near dumping this lady out of her disrespect for me and I may be getting involved with a very damaged woman. I have know her 6 years. I recently filed for Divorce and am in the process of moving and this is clear to her. She chose to pursue me and we hit it off over the past 4 months. In fact, it was great up until a certain event. She got a text thru google where they person could remain anonymous. It chided her for being with a "married man, and said she should have learned her lesson from her ex husband who cheated on her. So it was from one of her friends or people who know her vs any of mine. She has lots of guys that she dated but remained friends with, that she said "wouldn't send something like that". I called bs because, who hides behind anonymous texts messages, and why would she even consider their comments' knowing the realities of where we stand?. She knows fully where my divorce stands and where its progressing, so why would it bother her? Well fast forward. She awakes last Tuesday being all lovey dovey and everything is great, then at the end of the day she wants to call things off and had been cold every since. I asked her why, and she says that the text freaked her out and perhaps we should stay away from each other until I am fully divorced. She then started trying to justify breaking off because I wasn't as concerned about the text as she was. I have concerns anyway, because she went from telling me she loved me, to accusing me of not believing she loves me, to cold as ice and now proving she really doesn't over something so trivial. Her ex husband cheated on her with hookers for years and she always said she was damaged and certain personality traits will rise up based on this damage. I believe that this might be a case of BPD, and she is now painting me black. She said she wants to talk over the weekend. I am inclined to dump her and disappear based on he treatment and sudden behavior. It seems its more about her reputation with friends thinking she is dating a married man who has filed and separated, vs anything else. If I am filed and moved out, why would this matter? And she knew this when pursuing me and she knew the status all along. No contact and dump or what? Another issue is kind of bothering me. She is addicted to exercise and will bike 100 miles, run 10 everyday if her body allowed it. She said she does it to get away from her depression and bad thoughts and said she is now almost certain she has a addiction problem of over exercise. At any rate, she truly went from a 100%+ interest rate in me to apparently zero in less than 24 hours. She has gone silent and said she is just tired and has a full weekend ahead. I am thinking of getting out while I can and just going NC. I read where damaged women of cheating husbands and who cheated for years and had a sex addiction, can make women who get close to a man, suddenly scuttle things. One last thing. She has an over abundance of male friends who all bike with her and raises eyebrows on Facebook as having herself surrounded by many men. Some are married, so I am not sure why anybody would go after me, vs a wife of one of her friends she might be getting jealous of her biking and hiking every weekend with their husbands. She never stopped to think that perhaps its one of these wives and nothing to do with me, but she discarded me overnight apparently. What would you do?
Poppyolive Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 To be honest this sounds like waaayyyyy to much drama for the 4 month mark. So you are in the process of divorcing, I don't know your back story...(I'll read after) but I'm sure the last thing you need for you is this. How about dump her before you become more invested and spend some time with you. Be your own best friend. She's gone cold on you, you're obviously upset go one step ahead and split. Them go NC.
Poppyolive Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 Ahh OK..I've read your stories. My head hurts. You should probably not date for a while. And get some help.
Author harvej Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 LMAO!! I re read it too and looks like a have been drinking! LOL! I feel disgarded but will go NC and just heal. Thanks
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