Ordinaryday Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 You should not have stayed at the bar. it is not your job to stay at a place she is at for 'appearances' or to show her you are 'doing well', it is your job to do what is best for you and that is 100% NC. if I went to a place and saw my ex there I would immediately leave. if I was with friends, I would simply say to them "sorry, that is my ex girlfriend over there and I am very uncomfortable being here, can we please leave?" - if they are real friends they would understand. 1
anemptycup Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 i know that it seems like it's a huge set back - but i don't believe it's as bad as you think... i'm also exactly 5 months since BU - we had some contact 2 months ago that just gave me false hope and i have been trying to move on but - it's been 2 months NC - point is - after breaking contact and starting over again - the healing was much quicker than my first run of no contact - and i am a believer that this suffering and pain is secretly something we are doing to ourselves, because something deep within us, feels we need it to realize something far greater... that, much greater than our ex, much greater than our relationship - this break-up is a blessing in disguise showing us that we have become heavily dependent on someone else to make us happy... kinda like a drug addict. by thinking of them daily - we turn them into gods in our minds... and subsequently make ourselves less important - and we crave them so much... to make us feel more whole and more complete.... your attention is power... and energy - and you've been directing it on her by thinking of her - powering her up in your mind - you need to to start diverting your attention on yourself more now - i wont say stop thinking of her - that's nearly impossible.. but start thinking of yourself more... start building up your self image - it's gonna be weird and hard at first - but, basically your goal should be to TRULY BELIEVE that you need nothing or no one other than yourself to be happy and whole - and when you reach that point - and no longer give a **** what people think or care of you... you will be so glad this all happened - just so you could gain that wholeness from within - and that sh*it is the most attractive s*hit around - it will not only attract new people to you, but opportunities and more... believe me man - thse break-ups are painful as hell.. but they are showing us we have a huge addiction problem and depending on someone else to make you happy - is not true love... it's addiction. we have the opportunity to do something very few people do... which is to become strong, and fully open and awesome humans... good luck... much love! 3
Mr.Pine Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 ...believe me man - thse break-ups are painful as hell.. but they are showing us we have a huge addiction problem and depending on someone else to make you happy - is not true love... it's addiction. Truer words never spoken. You may have something there, Cuppo.
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