truelovefails Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 (edited) I've been dating a man for a year in a half. Let's say my life doesn't come drama free. In addition to my drama I have a two year old who is the love of my life. My man says he loves him and I know my son adores him. I don't want my son to end up heartbroken. Question is: how often does a normal couple see each other? How often normally should he see my son? I just feel like something is "off". We live really close to each other and I was seeing him almost every day. Then he decided to go back to do martial arts (after the doctor told him no) and does that twice a week. This week it was three times a week. I just feel like he isn't as "involved" as he was. As my son gets more attached to him, I feel like we seem him less. Thanks. Edited June 14, 2014 by truelovefails
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 People need to have interests & hobbies away from their SOs for the relationship to remain vibrant. Let him have his martial arts. If your relationship progresses he may be able to share that with your son. 2
Author truelovefails Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 I know everyone needs their own "thing" but I'm just wondering how often other couples see each other.
cif Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 Something is sending alarm bells off or you wouldn't be posting. Naturally people need hobbies. If you're worried about your son getting hurt slowly detach him.
giblesp Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 I know everyone needs their own "thing" but I'm just wondering how often other couples see each other. It depends really, there are no rules. I live with my GF and see her every day. I've had relationships when I'd see the other 3-4 times per week. Just be natural and see each other as much as you want!
veggirl Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 My bf and I lived ~15 min from each other and saw each other ~3x/week before we moved in together. I thought that was just right. Gave us time to do our own thing and have down time, while still seeing each other often. I mean after work and other activities, often I just wanted to go home and have quiet time. Do you guys discuss the future? Like moving in, marriage etc? Is your son's dad involved in his life or is your new bf like his surrogate dad now? How old are you guys? It could be nothing or maybe the honeymoon period has worn off and he is now seeing things for what they are--if he's with you, he's agreeing to jump into an insta-family type situation. Have you talked about this with him? Seeing a bf you aren't living with every.single.day seems like too much for me, I certainly wouldn't be interested in that arrangement (though some people are, of course).
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 I know everyone needs their own "thing" but I'm just wondering how often other couples see each other. Unfortunately, there isn't some handbook you can purchase on Amazon that lays out all the rules that make for a working relationship. Even if there was, I'd doubt many people would apply any of it let alone read it. Every person and every couple is different with regards to how much time they need to be together and/or apart. There can be many variables that prevent some couples from coming together more often than not like distance, family, work, and even how long a couple has been together since new couples tend to be inseparable initially. What exactly do YOU want to see happen? What would be your ideal ratio of time together vs time apart? Regardless, if you haven't already, you need to have a chat with your man about this. If it's something you feel is important and aren't happy with the current situation, you owe it to your relationship to discuss it like adults and find a happy compromise. Relationships are all about compromises after all. Remember, happy and healthy couples NEED a life separate from their partners. Good luck.
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