should I do anything else?

[d0nnivain]

DH's aunts hate me. He used to be really close to them but since we got engaged, they stopped talking to him. We have been married for almost 6 years.

 

They got it in their heads that I did something I didn't do. I have proven that I didn't do what they acused me of & the person they are "championing" becaue I allegedly slighted her has said I did not do it.

 

Four years ago I did try to explain to them what happened & I even said that if I did anything to hurt them I was sorry.

 

They are civil when we see them at family functions but they no longer reach out for DH. It's sad because they are his only family in this state. The rest of his family is more than 1,000 miles away.

 

He's fine with it & has repeatedly said, I'm his family & they can go jump in a lake. My FIL is more adament. He has repeatedly said that I'm his DIL & his sisters can go F*#k themselves if they don't like it. FIL is pretty blunt.

 

FIL & his wife are coming for a visit next month. I had DH contact his aunts to invite them to our house for dinner so they can see their brother. One aunt responded that she would rather host. FIL said "hell no". He said his sisters need to learn to respect me & since he was coming to my house, the sisters need to come here if they want to see him. I told FIL I was fine if everybody wanted to go to his sister's. I even pointed out that she is a much better cook / hostess & he will get a better meal if everybody goes to her house. He still said no. He claims it's the principle of the thing.

 

Another part of the reason the aunt doesn't want to come is she doesn't drive.

 

Anyway, I had DH call her and offer the following:

 

• DH would pick her up after work because she lives about 10 minutes from his office. She could either spend the night here in our small guest room (FIL & wife will be in big guest room) or she could go to her other sister's house who lives nearby.
  

• Her daughter & her neice who both have to drive past her house to get her & who are also invited could bring her
  

• I'd pay the $100 to get her a car service. It's a 2 hour R/T trip to take her home.
  

She hasn't responded to any of those suggestions. I just feel bad that FIL is taking such a hard line. I don't want to be used a wedge to further divide their family.

 

My head knows this is out of my hands but I'd be open to suggestions if anybody has them.

[pink_sugar]

There's nothing else you can do. You made the attempt to be cordial and include them. The problem is with them, not with you. Let it go and move on. I remember my aunt blamed me for stealing her yearbooks for the longest time. Even had most of the family believing I did it too. A few years later she did find them. I resented her for the longest time and was hard not having many people believe I didn't do it. It really sucks getting blamed for something you didn't do. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't wish to be cordial with them.

[bubbaganoosh]

Look. There is no excuse for ignorance especially from adults who know better.

 

FIL is right. You made the invite and if they choose to see their brother, then they'll make the effort.

 

You made the invitation, it's up to them to either act like adults and accept it or if they choose to cut off their nose to spite their face, then their only going to hurt themselves.......................and look pretty damn stupid with no nose.