SoThatHappened Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I ask the subject line, because something deep inside of me, I could just tell, it was over. And, it was while we were in the sheets of all things. Long story short, a young girl broke my heart after 7 months. Less than a day before she admitted that she was flirting and talking with someone else, she couldn't text me enough how much she loved me and can't think of her life without me. However, a couple weeks leading into her straying, I knew something changed. I could honestly feel it. Then when making love for the last time, 4 days before the BU, I just had this encompassing feeling in my head that this girl is gone. I even wanted to ask her in the middle of it if she felt the "disconnect" too, but I didn't. Turns out my gut was right 2 weeks before and during that last romp. It was just so crazy and I even wanted to mention it right then and there... like "did you just feel that we disconnected and this is over?". Just curious, and healing on this site. So many good people and good advice. Thanks
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Yep the morning of my BU I just knew I even phoned him and said I cant shake this feeling... an hour later I saw what I saw and it was over... I just knew it was coming x
elseaacych Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 My last relationship has a long falling apart period where my ex got interested in another girl but didn't know how to end it with me other than just being a dick. It got to a point where he just picked a fight with me, and said something so mean: I was so furious that time basically stopped, and I had an out of body experience where I actually could foresee what the consequences of what I said next. Didn't stop me from saying it. Because it needed to be said. That was about a week before he broke up with me. The night before he actually did the deed, I had a dream I where I broke up with him. Yeah, that was a sucky period of my life.
Wings Of Love Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I could feel it, but I tried to ignore it. Our breakup came 8 days after our 1st anniversary. Just days before he ended it, he was telling me he wanted to spend his life with me and he begged me to never leave him, but even as he said the words, I could feel no real depth to them. On the day itself he was supposed to come round after work. I made all the usual preparations, though I couldn't shake the fear that something was wrong. Long story short, he told me via text he wasn't coming over, and when I rang him to ask if he was okay, he rejected all my calls. Eventually he came to see me anyway and told me I'd scared him - but he refused to explain what I'd done to scare him. It was the same with my first boyfriend too. The day of the breakup I remember saying to my mum "he's going to leave me today". She thought I was being paranoid, but he dumped me via instant messenger an hour later.
PersonaPersona Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I could feel it as well, and I didn't think much of it as everything seemed to be going well. He changed a little and started acting a little funny before the breakup, I asked if he wanted to talk about how he was acting weird and he agreed to talk for a while. Then BAM, it was over. I knew it was coming too.
yodudebroman Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 A few days before she broke up with me I was having vivid nightmares about trying to be close to her and things going completely wrong e.g Waiting at her families house and they turned into demons and killed me before she got there, chasing her for ages but no matter how fast I ran I could never catch up to her. Two-Three days later she ended it.
LME Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I 100% knew it would never last but denied it for a few months until we finally broke up
AtTheStart Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Absolutely. Last relationship I got back to the apartment before she did...I couldn't sleep as I just knew. I even grabbed this (yeah yeah cliche) book we had to write / answer little questions about each other & wrote on the inside cover...I even "dated" it...as I knew. She got home, I asked about a disconnected feeling...and "i need a break" came out of her...from there just snowballed.
writergal Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 (edited) I think our senses kick in when the signs of an impending breakup are near, such as: too busy to spend time with you all of the sudden, communication becomes one-sided, the emotional connection you once had has disappeared, people start to treat you differently, you get introduced as a "friend" much to your surprise, lots of petty fights about trivial things suddenly start to happen, suddenly the way you dress, speak, act, breathe is wrong, and the list goes on from there, for signs that set off alarm bells in your gut, that the person you're in a relationship with wants to break up with you. Edited June 16, 2014 by writergal 1
man_on_the_box Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Happens to me every single timw, but I can never do anything about it because it's genuinely never my fault. I'm always a great, thoughtful boyfriend, I'm always careful to not be clingy while still showing all the love I truly have for my partners. I'm ambitious and have a bright future but am no workaholic and am always willing to make time for girlfriends when needed. I'm patient in relationships and always go at a comfortable pace for both parties, never pressurizing for anything but not taking bull or losing my balls either. But I'm still always ultimately treat like crap by women who still somehow manage to g ok through life saying men are the ones who are pigs. Makes me sick to my stomach
Author SoThatHappened Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 I think our senses kick in when the signs of an impending breakup are near, such as: too busy to spend time with you all of the sudden, communication becomes one-sided, the emotional connection you once had has disappeared, people start to treat you differently, you get introduced as a "friend" much to your surprise, lots of petty fights about trivial things suddenly start to happen, suddenly the way you dress, speak, act, breathe is wrong, and the list goes on from there, for signs that set off alarm bells in your gut, that the person you're in a relationship with wants to break up with you. Wow, exactly how the last 2 weeks were. For 6.5 months she would text, call, email multiple times a day to tell me she loved me and how she was so happy to share her future with me. I knew it wasn't normal, but feeling "loved" by someone so much made me feel good. I know, I've got my own issues to work on. I've learned that for sure. But the last 2 weeks, communication became less. Less "I love you's" out of the blue. Less time spent together for no reason at all. Less adoration and less heartfelt words from her. Also in the last 2 weeks, she would get mad at me when I'd get frisky, she got mad that I wore a certain shirt, and even got mad that I put on sunglasses when it was nearing dusk... I've learned that she exhibits 8, possibly 9 of the 9 traits for BPD, but that's another story. It's amazing how your gut just "knows"... I'm a cerebral type of person who doesn't always follow his gut. I usually follow what I believe to be logical, but my gut still knew what my head and heart were clueless about.
writergal Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Wow, exactly how the last 2 weeks were. For 6.5 months she would text, call, email multiple times a day to tell me she loved me and how she was so happy to share her future with me. I knew it wasn't normal, but feeling "loved" by someone so much made me feel good. I know, I've got my own issues to work on. I've learned that for sure. But the last 2 weeks, communication became less. Less "I love you's" out of the blue. Less time spent together for no reason at all. Less adoration and less heartfelt words from her. Also in the last 2 weeks, she would get mad at me when I'd get frisky, she got mad that I wore a certain shirt, and even got mad that I put on sunglasses when it was nearing dusk... I've learned that she exhibits 8, possibly 9 of the 9 traits for BPD, but that's another story. It's amazing how your gut just "knows"... I'm a cerebral type of person who doesn't always follow his gut. I usually follow what I believe to be logical, but my gut still knew what my head and heart were clueless about. Yep. Amazing how our gut just "knows"...Three rules to live by in life (easier said than done though): always trust your gut, go with what you know, don't do something just because someone asks you to. Don't underestimate the accuracy of the gut feeling vs. thinking about something too much (overanalyzing). Physical senses serve a purpose. If someone's actions make you feel queasy/nervous/anxious, that's definitely your gut feeling alerting you that something's not right.
JimmyWeezy Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Things weren't smooth and calm for a long time because I couldn't put my complete trust back, I was always keeping an eye opened for some mistake he could make. And the sex was bad too, I was always on for a ride whenever I was around him, he wasn't. And I remember I would always ask "do you?" When he said "I love you".
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