HEY2147 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 My favorite part is that you say that men are hard wired to "spread our seed" but you couldn't even do that which just proves you wrong. Look dude if a woman wants to just have sex that should make you rethink your permanent stance on why men have sex and why women have sex. I can write a whole essay on my views on why women tend to be more selective on having sex than men. I mean if you think about it she was being selective cause she wants to have sex but not with a stranger who she doesnt know and could be dangerous so she chose a safer and familiar partner YOU. Unfortunately you couldnt even do that right. Be more open minded towards women and stop being so self righteous. No this is not a feminist statement Im coming from a stance of empathy. 2
ascendotum Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Hilarious. You get respect from me for standing by your opinions to the end, regardless of whether I agree with them. If it's truly the way you feel, revealing that when questioned when it costs you a lay is pretty damned honest, and whatever else you can say, that's a solid character attribute. True. Likewise I found this hilarious too. If a guy goes long time between sex then its a really dumbass thing to do, but if the guy gets decent share of action at fair regularity then its no great calamity for him. I knew guys who could pull a woman pretty much every night out on the town, and they'd pull stunts and test out women's self respect for the laughs. If the woman told them to go F themselves, they'd laugh and soon be chatting up another (they lived by the lock concept too). Its why really good looking guys can be jerks, for kicks, and because lots of women will let them get away with it, and plenty more options if they don't. Its kind of like a salesmen chatting to you about this great deal going that makes him a ton on commissions because its so jacked up with bs hidden fees the suckers don't see in the convoluted/misleading fine print, and then he proceeds to try and sign you up. lol Come on OP stand by your principles and if she mentions it again don't change your tune. Not sure you'll get another chance with this one though
firmness Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 You have received a lot of responses to your OP. So no need to repeat any of it. I do not agree with all of the responses because they are not well informed. Here are a few thoughts: 1. If you feel this way, then good on you for expressing it. 2. Men are indeed, generally speaking, "hard wired" to spread out seed. There is no question about this and any serious biologist will confirm this. Opinions are irrelevant here including yours, mine or any respondents. The science on this issue is not conclusive in the way math might be, but it is well supported across disciplines. 3. Just because men might be predisposed to do something, that does not mean that is is always advisable to do so. We have many urges, but it is important for a thousand reasons to have civilizing forces to stop us from acting on our animal instincts. 4. Society has changed. Forget the "alpha male" BS and the player ideology. We are all human now. Women have MUCH more power in the US than ever before. One aspect of that power is the ability to choose who she wants to procreate with. With your attitude, you are not likely to procreate with a woman of quality. They will likely walk away from you. But that does not mean that other women will walk away. It is YOUR choice which type of woman you choose to try to attract. 2
jbelle6 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 You have received a lot of responses to your OP. So no need to repeat any of it. I do not agree with all of the responses because they are not well informed. Here are a few thoughts: 1. If you feel this way, then good on you for expressing it. 2. Men are indeed, generally speaking, "hard wired" to spread out seed. There is no question about this and any serious biologist will confirm this. Opinions are irrelevant here including yours, mine or any respondents. The science on this issue is not conclusive in the way math might be, but it is well supported across disciplines. 3. Just because men might be predisposed to do something, that does not mean that is is always advisable to do so. We have many urges, but it is important for a thousand reasons to have civilizing forces to stop us from acting on our animal instincts. 4. Society has changed. Forget the "alpha male" BS and the player ideology. We are all human now. Women have MUCH more power in the US than ever before. One aspect of that power is the ability to choose who she wants to procreate with. With your attitude, you are not likely to procreate with a woman of quality. They will likely walk away from you. But that does not mean that other women will walk away. It is YOUR choice which type of woman you choose to try to attract. These are some good points.
jbelle6 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I will say though, I do not feel bad at all for the woman in the OP's original post at all. Not one bit. I think people have to have more respect for themselves, if they fall for this type then I don't really know what to say... 2
Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I will say though, I do not feel bad at all for the woman in the OP's original post at all. Not one bit. I think people have to have more respect for themselves, if they fall for this type then I don't really know what to say... She was his ex, not some stranger off the street. If a woman wants but isn't in a relationship, I wouldn't necessarily her call self-respect into question if she chose to sleep with an ex....
jbelle6 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 She was his ex, not some stranger off the street. If a woman wants but isn't in a relationship, I wouldn't necessarily her call self-respect into question if she chose to sleep with an ex.... I would call into question why she dated him in the first place. Doubt this was the first sign of his beliefs. 2
Author Baller25 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 She was his ex, not some stranger off the street. If a woman wants but isn't in a relationship, I wouldn't necessarily her call self-respect into question if she chose to sleep with an ex.... Actually, it's not so much about our relationship but more about a difference of beliefs on ONSs. It would have been the same if I was about to have sex with a long-term gf.
Author Baller25 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 (edited) Be more open minded towards women and stop being so self righteous. No this is not a feminist statement Im coming from a stance of empathy. I agree with this part. Your right, as I was only looking to hookup I should have brushed my opinions to the side. I always immediately dismiss any potential romantic feelings for a girl if I find out that a girl has been around a lot (I think most of guys subconsciously do); I lose respect for her because as I see it she doesn't have self-respect. I can see that I mixed the situation where I applied it to casual sex where respect isn't required. I just got a reply text from her, she's coming over again on Sunday — I'll make sure to remember that this isn't anything romantic. Edited June 13, 2014 by Baller25
nerd Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Ha! I think I'm more turned off that she's willing to give you another chance after you said something so stupid, than by anything else in this thread. But whatever. Some people are nicer (or any other adjective here) than I. Weren't some people saying that women are hardwired to settle down with a nice, stable guy, but have sex when fertile with bad boys that will give them genetically superior kids? If we're going to reduce things to popular evolutionary biology, that seems as good a model as any....
georgecostanza Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 (edited) Not really. If that was the case then why do guys almost always lie about the number of partners we've had and double up the numbers. Good luck trying to find a woman who hasn't had a one night stand. They're increasingly rare (I view that as a good thing, in general). Most women lie about the number of partners they've had and half the number... You're a sexist dick. What is ok for us is ok for women, too. We're not 'hard-wired' to do anything. That's just a lazy excuse for lazy sexism. I haven't read the thread but I'm sure you've been shot down a million times already so I'll leave it at that rather than deconstructing your post any further, as if it needed explanation to begin with. Edited June 13, 2014 by georgecostanza 5
PegNosePete Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 LOL, don't neg when you encounter LMR! Chump move.
WrinkledForehead Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Morality is entirely subjective, so please tell me whose moral standards women should be held to. Yours? A self-admitted hypocrite? Those imposed by the patriarchal construct? Meh. No thanks. I'm not a feminist nor a person who participates in ONS, but I don't believe in judging others for their personal feelings about sexuality.
Andy_K Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I can see that I mixed the situation where I applied it to casual sex where respect isn't required. The attitude that there's no need to respect someone if you only want casual sex with them, might well prevent you getting any. Newsflash for you: Girls who have casual sex from time to time still want, and deserve to be, respected. 4
No Limit Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Well, your key must certainly won't open that lock ever again. 1
SoonMyFriend Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 This thread is so funny and sad all at the same time. Look - I used to be against ONS. I didn't think they were "immoral", I just always thought I needed a strong emotional connection to someone to have sex. But then I had a few myself and my opinion softened. I don't think there's anything I can say that will change your mind. But **** off if you think I am some kind of damaged goods just because I've had a few ONS. That doesn't make me any less of a woman. I learned a lot about myself from ONS and in a lot of ways it will make me a better partner. The only thing you should care about is whether your partner has an STD. And yeah, you can get one regardless of the number of partners you've had. All it takes is one person. Here's the funny thing - you claim you want a respectable woman, with higher morals, and all the rest of it. But because of your judgemental attitude you will never attain that woman because she'll be too smart and see through your BS, and do exactly what your ex just did to you and leave you to your tube sex. 1
GoreSP Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I will say though, I do not feel bad at all for the woman in the OP's original post at all. Not one bit. I think people have to have more respect for themselves, if they fall for this type then I don't really know what to say... I'm not sure how people still consider having sex outside of a relationship as 'not having respect for yourself' If anything, when there is a need to be met - either for sexual gratification or just basic human contact - not doing anything to meet this need fall more in the 'not respecting yourself' basket. It's really time for church indoctrination to go out the window as far as sex in concerned...
sweetjasmine Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I already know that I'm a hypocrite and not exactly an angel, that's why I (perhaps like many guys) want a girl that has higher morals that we do. And why would a woman with "higher morals" want to slum it with someone like you?
Imported Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 For me, its about trust in judgement. I trust my own judgement. Sometimes I do meet women that are pretty cool and are good people and we will only know each other for a very limited time. And I go for it. They didn't make a bad choice themselves going for me. I'm not a bad guy. I need to trust women may have met other dudes in their past that are good guys too and they can make their own judgement calls. There are some short term relations though that I don't agree with and I never do myself, so not a hypocrite. I am not a trashy person, I don't behave in trashy ways.
preraph Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 And why would a woman with "higher morals" want to slum it with someone like you? Oh, they accomplish that by lying to the girls. That's how most of them end up "sullied" to begin with. They lie and pretend to be someone they aren't and feel some way they don't to get sex and then they lose respect for the girl for sleeping with them or others like them.
lollipopspot Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I met up with an ex hoping that we would hookup (I have no intention of having a relationship). Our meetup did turn into a date and when we went back to mine it was a sure thing, until my opinionated head kicked in when she mentioned if ONSs are okay for guys then why isn't it okay for girls... Leaving aside your ridiculous attitude, I don't really consider what she was about to do with you a "ONS." You've already had a physical relationship with her. This is more like picking up where you left off physically, more like a friends with benefits if you had to put a name to it. I'm sure you disrespect her for that too, but it's not like she just picked up some guy in a bar (although she might be better off if she did).
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