Baller25 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) I met up with an ex hoping that we would hookup (I have no intention of having a relationship). Our meetup did turn into a date and when we went back to mine it was a sure thing, until my opinionated head kicked in when she mentioned if ONSs are okay for guys then why isn't it okay for girls. I told her that men are hard wired to spread our seed and women are designed to be more selective which is why ONSs are looked down upon on the woman — she did that feminist ignorance thing as soon as I said "men are hard wired". I tried to lighten it up by saying a joke: "A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys is just a crappy lock". She went out the door. I traded real flesh for a fleshlight that night. Personally I have a negative view on women that do ONSs because I get the impression that it doesn't take much to 'unlock' her and therefore not a good track record for an investment in something more. Also I like to think that women higher morals then men (this statement was what drove early feminism after all) and need some kind of a relationship before sex. Is there something anyone here can say that can get us men to think differently if we're in the wrong, or are we in fact correct? Edited June 12, 2014 by Baller25
Fondue Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I almost never say this, but I think this time it is warranted. Dude, you're a dick. The girl was ready to get it on with you, why the hell did you push her buttons and make her feel bad about possibly making you feel good? I can't think of a douche-ier move. Get laid, enjoy it, move on. Keep your opinions to yourself. Regardless if you think you're right or wrong, sometimes you just gotta keep silent. 21
Potz4prez Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Tries to get women into to bed. Judges them for getting into bed. Logic. 24
pteromom Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I agree with the others. You shot yourself in the foot with your judgmental attitude. until my opinionated head kicked in when she mentioned if ONSs are okay for guys then why isn't it okay for girls. The correct answer should have been. "It is OK for anyone who wants to have them. Sex feels good, so why not enjoy it?" I told her that men are hard wired to spread our seed and women are designed to be more selective which is why ONSs are looked down upon on the woman — she did that feminist ignorance thing as soon as I said "men are hard wired". I tried to lighten it up by saying a joke: "A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys is just a crappy lock". This whole thing is stupid. You need to kill and bury that whole "key/lock" joke. So ridiculous. Men aren't keys and women aren't locks. We are all people, with different needs and values. If a woman wants sex, there is nothing wrong with her going out and getting it. If a man wants to wait for marriage, there is nothing wrong with him refusing to "spread his seed" (I mean, really... as if he is just a wind-up penis with no brain.) Personally I have a negative view on women that do ONSs because I get the impression that it doesn't take much to 'unlock' her and therefore not a good track record for an investment in something more. It's pretty hypocritical of you to want ONS yourself, but have a negative view of anyone who agrees to have one with you. Now, whether you want to get into a relationship with a woman who has ONS is a different topic, but you have to accept that women who aren't interested in ONS will probably also not be interested in YOU, since you have ONS. Also I like to think that women higher morals then men (this statement was what drove early feminism after all) and need some kind of a relationship before sex. Ummm...no. Women are just people. Some of us like NSA sex, and some of us don't. And I wouldn't call either viewpoint "higher morals" than the other. Perhaps more conservative or traditional, but not "higher". And feminism wasn't about morals. It was about equality. Is there something anyone here can say that can get us men to think differently if we're in the wrong, or are we in fact correct? You couldn't be more wrong. 1- you need to quit painting all women with the same brush. We are all different. 2- you need to hold yourself to the same standards you hold others to, or you are a major hypocrite. 18
Author Baller25 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) 2- you need to hold yourself to the same standards you hold others to, or you are a major hypocrite. I already know that I'm a hypocrite and not exactly an angel, that's why I (perhaps like many guys) want a girl that has higher morals that we do. Edited June 12, 2014 by Baller25
Author Baller25 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 women who aren't interested in ONS will probably also not be interested in YOU, since you have ONS. Not really. If that was the case then why do guys almost always lie about the number of partners we've had and double up the numbers.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Pot. Meet Kettle. But beware, Pot. Kettle lacks insight into own behaviour.
pteromom Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Not really. If that was the case then why do guys almost always lie about the number of partners we've had and double up the numbers. Because they want to be seen as Mr. Studly? That doesn't attract the kind of conservative woman you are talking about though.
MalachiX Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I don't really see the point in anyone trying to talk your out of your sexist attitude. Yes, a lot of men are "hard-wired" to think that way but I great many of them realize that this is totally unfair and grow out of such an antiquated view. The fact that you seem to want to cling to your ingrained sexism is fine. Why should we waist our time trying to enlighten you when you're set in your ways? bottom line: You just talked yourself out of getting laid. Congrats! 7
Mrin Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 You remind me of a dude I used to hang out with in grad school. On night we had some mixer and we were chatting up two smoking hot undergrads (seniors). We had the deal sold. Just waiting for the cab. One of the women says something about making sure she's back home early enough the next day to get ready for church. The dude looks at her straight in the eye and says, "wait, you believe God? How ****ing stupid are you?" Yep. Game over. I nicked named him "chick-b-gone" that night and it stuck. Don't be a second coming of chick-b-gone 3
preraph Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Well, here's the flaw in your "hard-wired" notion. We are all able to overcome our hard-wiring if we want to. And some women might enjoy being players for awhile too now that they're blessed with birth control options. And some men might overcome their genetic third leg by deciding they'd rather have the love and trust of a good woman than spread their seed. Nowadays we have John Deere equipment for that. 6
ktya Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 "A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys is just a crappy lock". No. A key that opens a lot of locks is just a key. A lock that gets opened by a lot of keys is just a lock. Drop the master key analogy, the whole "unlocking" the girl for sex thing. Women like sex too. If you want to have a lot of it you need to approach womens' sexuality almost identically to men's. If they are horny, they want to get laid, and the guy in front of them is nice and good looking enough and makes it easy for them, they're going to probably go for it if there are no major repercussions to doing so. The barrier between men and women is simply that men love the idea of being used for sex and women don't. You want to have a one night stand or even just a casual sex thing ongoing just make sure she doesn't feel like she's getting used - there has to be some knid of a connection there. That connection doesn't have to be marriage or a relationship or anything other than that she feels some real romance and not like she's just a vagina for you to stick your spanky into. You totally degraded her with that "joke". You basically insinuated that she is a "crappy lock", no wonder she left. Learn a lesson from this and move on. Next time you get presented with such a debate just shift it to what two consenting adults do in private is their own business and it doesnt matter what anyone thinks.
giblesp Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Women and men eat, sleep and have sex. There is nothing morally wrong with consensual sex, and for you to suggest that a woman who has a one night stand has less morals than you is judgmental and hypocritical. If you wish to 'unlock' a woman then don't judge her. If you don't like ONS then don't have them. But don't have them and tell women they are a 'crappy lock,' that's just being a disrespectful d*ck.
giblesp Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 The barrier between men and women is simply that men love the idea of being used for sex and women don't. I strongly disagree with the first part of that statement. I'm a man, not a plastic dildo. 1
Author Baller25 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 You remind me of a dude I used to hang out with in grad school. On night we had some mixer and we were chatting up two smoking hot undergrads (seniors). We had the deal sold. Just waiting for the cab. One of the women says something about making sure she's back home early enough the next day to get ready for church. The dude looks at her straight in the eye and says, "wait, you believe God? How ****ing stupid are you?" Yep. Game over. I nicked named him "chick-b-gone" that night and it stuck. Don't be a second coming of chick-b-gone Oh no, after reading the "get ready for church" part I immediately imagined saying "are you serious, YOU go to church?". I know that it comes of as being hypocritical and sexist but suddenly I've found it very difficult to have any relations with a girl I think is morally bankrupt, like having sex with a true enemy. Also I don't think its sexist because it's if I didn't want to engage in business with a man that openly cheats on his wife.
Author Baller25 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) The barrier between men and women is simply that men love the idea of being used for sex and women don't. You want to have a one night stand or even just a casual sex thing ongoing just make sure she doesn't feel like she's getting used - there has to be some knid of a connection there. That connection doesn't have to be marriage or a relationship or anything other than that she feels some real romance and not like she's just a vagina for you to stick your spanky into. You totally degraded her with that "joke". You basically insinuated that she is a "crappy lock", no wonder she left. Learn a lesson from this and move on. Next time you get presented with such a debate just shift it to what two consenting adults do in private is their own business and it doesnt matter what anyone thinks. If women don't want to feel used and need a connection prior to sex, then how it's morally fine for women to have a ONSs? If you are up for a ONS then that also means that your fine with your vagina being used as something I can just stick my "spanky into". Honestly the joke gets real laughs, maybe it's not coming across as funny when it's read on a forum. I'm normally avoid judging for a stress-free life, but I had to put my foot down on this. It's like some women want to do the same things that us guys do but also want the moral high ground, and at the same time want us to behave differently to what we're hard wired (and therefore naturally supposed) to do. I can see most posters are geared towards keeping disrespect bottled up rather than actually putting some women in the wrong for once. Anyway I'll probably see her in a few days, but this time I'll remember to keep the judging to myself. Edited June 12, 2014 by Baller25
michellew Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Just because a woman has a ONS does not mean she lacks morals. I've had my share of ONSs, but that doesn't make me any less moral than you. I am hardworking, ambitious, attractive, fit, honest, loyal, healthy, educated, and fun to be around. Do you take any of these types of traits into consideration when judging a woman who does not meet your ''moral" standards? There are far worse qualities to judge a woman on. When your next ONS (if you don't blow it) robs a bank, kills someone, bombs a building, or cheats on her husband...then we can discuss morals. 1
Omei Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 In this topic he wasn't really having a ONS anyway he was manipulating an ex to sleep with him by showing her a nice date as he puts it. I wouldn't be surprised if she was walking in with hopes, his self destruction opened her eyes. 2
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Seriously dude? I mean... you had the deal closed, and you had to say something like that? SMH...
shet Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Hilarious. You get respect from me for standing by your opinions to the end, regardless of whether I agree with them. If it's truly the way you feel, revealing that when questioned when it costs you a lay is pretty damned honest, and whatever else you can say, that's a solid character attribute.
April Moon Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Oh no, after reading the "get ready for church" part I immediately imagined saying "are you serious, YOU go to church?". I know that it comes of as being hypocritical and sexist but suddenly I've found it very difficult to have any relations with a girl I think is morally bankrupt, like having sex with a true enemy. Also I don't think its sexist because it's if I didn't want to engage in business with a man that openly cheats on his wife. I don't understand why women need to be held to a higher standard than men (or you). Why is okay for men to sleep around and go to church the next day but women can't? Why is it okay for you to have a one night stand but your ex can't? I'm sorry but you have a couple of sexist ideas that just aren't okay. Btw, the idea of feminism is to be treated as equal from people who share your ideas. 1
jbelle6 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I met up with an ex hoping that we would hookup (I have no intention of having a relationship). Our meetup did turn into a date and when we went back to mine it was a sure thing, until my opinionated head kicked in when she mentioned if ONSs are okay for guys then why isn't it okay for girls. I told her that men are hard wired to spread our seed and women are designed to be more selective which is why ONSs are looked down upon on the woman — she did that feminist ignorance thing as soon as I said "men are hard wired". I tried to lighten it up by saying a joke: "A key that opens a lot of locks is a master key. A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys is just a crappy lock". I'm not gonna say if you're right or wrong, I will however say you are stupid. Your objective was your penis in a vagina, instead you dipped it in silicone. Why? All cause you couldn't just say "ya baby, you're right, She went out the door. I traded real flesh for a fleshlight that night. Personally I have a negative view on women that do ONSs because I get the impression that it doesn't take much to 'unlock' her and therefore not a good track record for an investment in something more. Also I like to think that women higher morals then men (this statement was what drove early feminism after all) and need some kind of a relationship before sex. Is there something anyone here can say that can get us men to think differently if we're in the wrong, or are we in fact correct? I'm not gonna say if you're right or wrong, I will however say you are stupid. Your objective was your penis in a vagina, instead you got your penis in a tube. I always wondered how you clean those things, thank God for google. 2
aprilisi Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Unfortunately, a lot of men feel this way. Its a double standard and will never change. But woman have needs too. What you said to her was horrible. It may not have been in her nature to do something like that. Women are not "hard wired" that way. Maybe she's getting out of a bad relationship or is lonely and needed some human companionship. Maybe she just needed to feel good about herself for the night. And you pull this move. I feel so bad for her, I don't know her situation. But I've been there. Dating sucks, that's why I'm all for FWBs. I have one I can depend on to meet my needs, who is a good man and doesn't judge me. 1
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