Alexjones1 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I am a business man and my ex and I have a joint phone account. I have tried to get in touch with her but no response to doing a transfer of liability to the account in my own name. She knows I have this number for my business contacts but is constantly ignoring that I want to have it transfered. She dumped me, well she asked for space, which is dumping. About 3 weeks into NC I realized that i had lost myself in the relationship and that moving on is the best for both of us. I told her I agreed with the breakup and instantly she unfriends all my family. Oh well, but the fact she wont communicate with me to get these last things taken care makes me just wonder if its revenge, or just hurt. She shared things with her family about the relationship which she regrets and had them paint a bad picture of me. So they had told her she would be disowned if our marriage happened. Mind you not she still has the ring and other belongings. If she that pissed off and crazy to act like this now. I am trying to be mature about it all, but I know she still has some control in the situation and soon as she gets these things taken care of she knows I have no reason to ever be in contact again. Any of you dumpers or dumpees do anything like this?
Chi townD Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 A little of both with being vengeful and hurt. She broke it off with you, "needing a break" Therefore, she got it in her head that you were going to be a big pile of blubbering goo over the loss of her. But, you came back and agreed with the break up. You shot down that image she had in her head and now, you're okay with everything. And she's thinking if you're okay with everything, then she really didn't mean that much to you anyway. Basically, you hit her hard in her ego. 2
Author Alexjones1 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Chitown, I never looked at it like that. I mean she is the one who wanted to end it, or SPACE. With everything that had went on I am sure she is feeling an ego hit as I did not chase and grovel over it. I am hurt, wished things were different, but they are what they are. Maybe in a week or so I might hear something. Thanks man
Chi townD Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 That's what we're here for! To get you looking outside the box! Dude, just do what you need to do to wrap up the relationship. Take care of your business. Then, move on.
ktya Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I told her I agreed with the breakup and instantly she unfriends all my family. Oh well, but the fact she wont communicate with me to get these last things taken care makes me just wonder if its revenge, or just hurt. She shared things with her family about the relationship which she regrets and had them paint a bad picture of me. So they had told her she would be disowned if our marriage happened. Mind you not she still has the ring and other belongings. This seems to be a woman thing. I dont doubt guys do it too but almost every woman I've broken up with has taken this type of tone. Girl checks out, stays with the guy for a while longer, eventually builds up the emotional strength to pull the pin and initiate the breakup by bad mouthing the dude to anyone who will listen. Those who listen coo coo her and offer her support and reassure her that the guy is no catch, no big loss he is a jerk. She finally gets the guts and does the dumping, her support network gives some bit "You go girl! You did this for you! High Five!" Then after the breakup guy is cool with it and wants to at least be friends or at minimum cordial. Complicated matters like stuff or kids or finances comes up and support network tells girl "Go no contact with him ! Dont let him rope you back in! You left for you! You dont need to do anything he says! Go girl!' Which leaves dudes in the exact situation you are in, bewildered and wondering why they are being so harsh and have bad mouthed you all over the place when you really were amicable about the whole breakup and didn't play the crazy ex boyfriend drunk dialing yelling and breaking things. Honestly, this process makes me sick and I wish that it wasnt as common as it is. I've had three ex girlfriends spread the word that I was abusive, a potential abuser or whatever. I have never in my life hit a girl, threatened to hit a girl, and I really hate fighting and arguing so even raising my voice is rare and reserved for the worst of times. I've always been white knight guy for F sakes, and these same women spreading these things usually were given an inch and took a mile of my patience, money, time, compromise. Which made it hurt even more. I wish they could just be emotionally mature enough to just spell it out properly without making crap up so they felt better about dumping a guy. To the girls who DONT do this... Kudos to you all. 1
JoeFallkon Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) My girl left. Ive been in NC for about 3 weeks. these last 4 days she would try and text me then if i ignore her, she would send me links to songs (let it go) . then the next day she would send a mariah carey we belong together link, then i didnt respond, she would post one of those pics saying. "i just bought me a bullet proof heart, got it at the I dont give a f** any more store", then she would contact a couple fnds and talk crap about me to feel good about herself, the same day she'd send me an i love you and i miss you. She even made a facebook page with my pics and she added a couple of fam members. i dont have fb. its like they know they put you down and still want to know youre there just in case they dont find anyone else that cares as much.. idk. im tryin to understand this myself too. Edited June 12, 2014 by JoeFallkon
ktya Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I had my fiancee break off the engagement with me like what happened with the OP. We were "trying to work things out" for a while while she bad mouthed me so bad that when we would meet afterwards to talk she would only meet me in highly public places on the advice of "professionals and family". Be in a 9 year relationship with a girl, engaged for a year and a half, lived with her for 6 years and never once lay a hand on her, and then she needs to meet you in a highly public place for "her own safety". What a slap in the face.
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