cutiebird22 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 So...I work with this really cute, fun, sweet guy. We have been flirty every since I started about a month ago. We are both over 25, but flirt like teenagers, which I find very cute. Silly stuff like poking each others' sides, untying aprons, fun insults, nicknames, etc. We always stand very close to each other, arms or legs touching when positioning allows. (I feel so silly describing this!) We definitely have chemistry and definitely have the thing where each other knows where the other is and makes an effort to say hi, bye, etc. Last night we closed together. I was counting down my drawer in the office and he had his cell phone plugged in to listen to music out in the lobby. He kept coming in and messing with the phone while I was back there. I got this moment of (what I thought) was genius, and in reference to a movie I had suggested he borrow, but that I wanted to "see his reaction to", I wrote on a sticky note "Solution to movie problem, you could watch it with me! Let me know 555-5555" and I signed it a nickname he calls me. I stuck it to the back of his phone =) I was elated when I left, but now I'm doubting if it was the right thing. I've read about never giving a guy your number, but it just felt right and I kind of think at least it's out there right? But what if it scares him? What if I don't hear from him and then awkwardly have to work with him? I guess I should of thought of that beforehand...? Any reassurance, insights, or past experiences would be most welcome! Thanks!
Frank2thepoint Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 What you did was cute and bold. You two have chemistry, and from what you wrote about his actions, he likes you just as much as you like him. Don't panic. The ball is in his court, but I'm sure he will call you. If he doesn't, then man is he dumb. I've read about never giving a guy your number So then how is a guy supposed to ask a girl out on a date? 12
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Thanks! I really think so, which is why I decided to be super bold. I think if I run into him b4 he calls/texts, I will just act confident and like normal. That's what I'm most nervous about...but again, thanks for the pep talk! I needed it Oh, and I meant that women aren't supposed to give a # without first being asked...like we ruin the chase by being upfront or something. I am just that kinda person I guess...why play a game and wait when I felt like putting it out there! 1
d0nnivain Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I think it was awesome. Direct but well within your established banter / playfulness. 1
pteromom Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Perfect!!! He's going to call you. If he doesn't, no worries. It isn't like you professed love for him, or even romantic interest. So there's no need to feel awkward if he doesn't call. But he will. Report back. I love happy stories. 1
Mrin Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Bold and sassy. I like it! Seriously, even if it doesn't work out with him don't stop with those moves. I would have been impressed if it had happened to me.
Baller25 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 The note itself was great, it carries on the cute teenager behaviour. If he rejects then you can brush it off as you just wanting to meetup as friends, no awkwardness. It's very difficult for guys to flat out ask girls out in the workplace, especially harassment laws. Luckily for him you planted the seed.
littleplanet Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 If you never give a guy your number, then he can't text you. And if he can't text you, your (modern communications apparatus) will wither and die. And if (said apparatus) withers and dies, it will wind up feeling like inglorious redundancy. Which will immediately catapult you back into the dark ages..... (like when I was your age, for instance.) Sorry I just could not resist! But seriously. When I WAS your age.......(and much younger) getting a girl's number was the cat's meow. These days (apparently) the number comes right after the "Hi......I'm__________" (fill in the blank.) I wouldn't worry too much. You like him. If he likes you back, he'll do the necessary thing with the information you gave him. That's how it works. The fact that you two work together is perhaps a small risk.... (if things don't go tickety boo) but I think your impulsive action was based on something sensible enough. Good things come from risks, sometimes.
Assasda Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 What you did was cool. What would have been even better was if you asked him in person but good luck
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 Thanks for all the great replies. I'm starting to believe that what I did was not as intense as I feel it is lol. I agree with the fact that my note didn't actually imply anything romantic, so I really could fall back on it just being a friends thing...which in all reality, I'd like to be first anyways. And yes, if he doesn't call/text, then oh well, I tried and didn't waste months flirting with someone who might not have been interested. Go me! I will update when anything new happens! 1
ktya Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 Sounds like you two are both on LS Why dont you proffer eachother advice? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/480572-got-woman-s-phone-number-what-next
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 Things just got weirder. So I never heard from him, but I worked with him today. When I had left the note a few days ago, he was under the impression that I was going to bring the movie in for him to borrow today. When I left work, he had no idea I had left that note...So today I was already at the register when he came in. I felt a hand on my shoulder and he said hello. At some point early in the day, he said "Hey, did you bring the movie?". The rest of the day was weird-we didn't flirt at all, or really talk for that matter. It was VERY busy the entire time, but still, it was strange. I don't know if it was b/c he found my note and is weirded out, or b/c I'm weirded out thinking he found it and hasn't texted and was perceiving him to be acting weird. I actually acted very normal, but he did seem more distant and less interactive. So...my question is-if he got my note and isn't at all interested, why would he ask if I brought the movie? If he is not at all interested or weirded out, wouldn't he just avoid the subject of the movie all together b/c he would know I knew I left him a note lol? So now I have no clue whether he got the note and is ignoring it by just pretending it didn't exist...or if he didn't get the note at all...ahhhhhhh, please help! Thanks!
gaius Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 I'm sure he got it cutie if you stuck it to his phone. These threads always go the same way, the guys who are in denial and think their dating problems only exist because a woman isn't doing all the work encourage you to give out your number unsolicited and then the guy never calls. =/ I would wager the movie question was just a way to set the tone and move past the whole number thing. 1
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 You guys, seriously. I didn't work with him again today, but I did work. I was counting down in the office and I looked up-stuck to a clipboard (with what looked like a ton of papers having to do with customers/sales business-related stuff)...was my sticky note. MY STICKY NOTE WITH MY NUMBER. I'm mortified. Unless he is a malicious psychotic douchebag, I'm guessing the note fell off, or he thought it was a random note that got stuck to his phone, didn't read it, and stuck it up there... Right, right, RIGHT? I'm so embarrassed. What do you all think. (I never anticipated the story taking this turn =( )
jonsnuh Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 You guys, seriously. I didn't work with him again today, but I did work. I was counting down in the office and I looked up-stuck to a clipboard (with what looked like a ton of papers having to do with customers/sales business-related stuff)...was my sticky note. MY STICKY NOTE WITH MY NUMBER. I'm mortified. Unless he is a malicious psychotic douchebag, I'm guessing the note fell off, or he thought it was a random note that got stuck to his phone, didn't read it, and stuck it up there... Right, right, RIGHT? I'm so embarrassed. What do you all think. (I never anticipated the story taking this turn =( ) That's an odd place to place something so personal. I'd remove it from the board in the first place, unless you want people contacting you. It just might be a sign that he isn't interested. If this is the case, do you want to wait and stay to find out? The ball is in his court. If he's interested, he will contact you. If a girl gave me her number, I'd put it into my phone number or memorize it, and then proceed to get rid of the sticky note by throwing it in the trash... not throwing it up on a board for the public domain.
Frank2thepoint Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 the guys who are in denial and think their dating problems only exist because a woman isn't doing all the work encourage you to give out your number unsolicited and then the guy never calls. =/ Awesome, a passive aggressive comment. It takes two to tango, and either the man or the woman can make the initial move to jump start something. You guys, seriously. I didn't work with him again today, but I did work. I was counting down in the office and I looked up-stuck to a clipboard (with what looked like a ton of papers having to do with customers/sales business-related stuff)...was my sticky note. MY STICKY NOTE WITH MY NUMBER. I'm mortified. Unless he is a malicious psychotic douchebag, I'm guessing the note fell off, or he thought it was a random note that got stuck to his phone, didn't read it, and stuck it up there... Right, right, RIGHT? I'm so embarrassed. What do you all think. (I never anticipated the story taking this turn =( ) Well this is really weird and awkward. Since you put the sticky note on the back of his phone, where it was plugged in, he could of thought that it was just some random sticky note that got stuck to his phone, so he put it up on the whole in case someone were to claim it. Did you put your name on the note? Did you address it to him? If there are no names, then it's probable that he thought it was a random note that was stuck to his phone. If you really want an answer, confront him with the note, and ask if he read your note.
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 That's an odd place to place something so personal. I'd remove it from the board in the first place, unless you want people contacting you. It just might be a sign that he isn't interested. If this is the case, do you want to wait and stay to find out? The ball is in his court. If he's interested, he will contact you. If a girl gave me her number, I'd put it into my phone number or memorize it, and then proceed to get rid of the sticky note by throwing it in the trash... not throwing it up on a board for the public domain. Of course I removed it from the board! It wasn't like a corkboard, it was a clipboard with paperwork, the sticky note was stuck on the bottom of one of the papers. I find it hard to believe that if someone wasn't interested they would post it on office documents instead of just throwing it away?? Well this is really weird and awkward. Since you put the sticky note on the back of his phone, where it was plugged in, he could of thought that it was just some random sticky note that got stuck to his phone, so he put it up on the whole in case someone were to claim it. Did you put your name on the note? Did you address it to him? If there are no names, then it's probable that he thought it was a random note that was stuck to his phone. If you really want an answer, confront him with the note, and ask if he read your note.It is weird and awkward lol, which is why I have no idea what to do about it. I too thought that he MUST have thought it was just a random piece of paper stuck to his phone. No, I didn't address it to him, and I signed it with a nickname, but if he didn't really read it then I could see how he might think it belonged to someone else. You are very right though-the ONLY way I'll know for sure is if I ask. I think I'll keep it casual, and just ask if he found a random sticky note on his phone. If he says no, then maybe it fell off and someone else found it, if he says yes, I can just be like "did you read it?" and see where that conversation goes. Thanks for the input!
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Quick update. I worked with him tonight. Same as usual. Very flirty, found reasons to touch me, etc. I think I'm good. He must not have seen the note at all. I think I'll just reciprocate flirting and give hints, but let him realize if he wants to make a move or not. I feel like the universe is giving me another shot =) 1
Frank2thepoint Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Quick update. I worked with him tonight. Same as usual. Very flirty, found reasons to touch me, etc. I think I'm good. He must not have seen the note at all. I think I'll just reciprocate flirting and give hints, but let him realize if he wants to make a move or not. I feel like the universe is giving me another shot =) Don't assume. Did you ask him about it?
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Don't assume. Did you ask him about it? I guess I am assuming, but I'm ok with that. I've seen him twice now and even talked about movies and he hasn't hinted at all that he saw anything. It doesn't make sense to me that he would still be flirting and acting interested, but had seen my note and not kept it. I guess I won't know for sure, unless we get to a point (some other way than stupid sticky note!) where I know he likes me and I feel like it would be a funny story to tell him. Yesterday I stopped by work and had on a dress and the first thing he said to me was "Nice dress" and then asked where I was going. Then I came in later to actually work and had on a regular t-shirt (but cute one) and he said "It looks like a babydoll." I had no idea what that was, so he said "Like one of those sexy nightgown things". So...that seems a bit more forward, and if nothing else, he def. noticed my clothes and how I look in them. Most guys don't say anything about how you look unless they are in some way interested I think (unless it's a good friend or family member). 1
pteromom Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 It certainly sounds like he is attracted to you. That is frustrating about the sticky note - especially since you don't know if he saw it. I am guessing not- like maybe he grabbed up his phone really quickly and just let the note fall to the floor, where someone else picked it up and pinned it to the board. ??? At any rate, how about just inviting him over to watch the movie. It doesn't have to be a "date"... just two friends watching a movie together. If he is interested, he will jump at the chance. If he hems and haws, you have your answer. And the answer may not be that he isn't attracted to you, but maybe that he's in a relationship already or something (in which case, he's a douche for flirting with you.) The longer you let this go on, the more intense your feelings are going to get, and the more it is going to hurt if it doesn't go your way. You need to find some way to try to push it to the next level and see what happens. 1
Author cutiebird22 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 It certainly sounds like he is attracted to you. That is frustrating about the sticky note - especially since you don't know if he saw it. I am guessing not- like maybe he grabbed up his phone really quickly and just let the note fall to the floor, where someone else picked it up and pinned it to the board. ??? At any rate, how about just inviting him over to watch the movie. It doesn't have to be a "date"... just two friends watching a movie together. If he is interested, he will jump at the chance. If he hems and haws, you have your answer. And the answer may not be that he isn't attracted to you, but maybe that he's in a relationship already or something (in which case, he's a douche for flirting with you.) The longer you let this go on, the more intense your feelings are going to get, and the more it is going to hurt if it doesn't go your way. You need to find some way to try to push it to the next level and see what happens. Thanks! I do agree with what you've said. I'm trying to think of a way to do this without embarrassing either of us. Where we work it really is impossible to talk without others around, so I don't feel comfortable asking him to watch a movie (even if it is just as friends) b/c others would hear it. Which is a possible reason he has not said something similar? It is scary to ask face-to-face, especially when others are around to hear if you get shot down or not =) So...I'm thinking, if that opportunity doesn't arise, I can either ask to everyone, if anyone does anything fun outside work-which could parlay into us making plans; or I might ask if he would consider helping me move in a few weeks. I know, doesn't sound great, but it is actually a good idea. He wouldn't do it if he didn't like me in some capacity, it would ensure an exchange of phone numbers and seeing each other outside of work, it wouldn't be too much pressure, and it could lead to any number of things after the initial "reason" to hang out. I know I'm over-analzing. Thanks for listening! I go after what I want, so I will think of some way to ask him, but this time it will not be on a sticky note! 1
Sebastian76 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 (edited) I think you are over analyzing and making everything more difficult for yourself by being so indirect again. The note thing was cute and a good move, but it seems like he didn't get that it was for him. I would just ask him about it and if he didn't get the message then ask him directly. If he's into you he'll be happy and say yes, if not he'll make excuses. Simples. If you beat around the bush for too long someone might come right in and snatch him from under my nose. Countless times have I met girls, that I had a secret crush on 15 years ago, tell me how they also had a crush on me but was too shy to tell me and wrongly assumed I wasn't interested. I seriously missed out on some magic moments with some really great girls by being overly cautious. It still annoys me quite a bit to think of it. Edited June 17, 2014 by Sebastian76 3
Frank2thepoint Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I guess I am assuming, but I'm ok with that. I've seen him twice now and even talked about movies and he hasn't hinted at all that he saw anything. It doesn't make sense to me that he would still be flirting and acting interested, but had seen my note and not kept it. I guess I won't know for sure, unless we get to a point (some other way than stupid sticky note!) where I know he likes me and I feel like it would be a funny story to tell him. You started off real good with the sticky note. You were bold and determined. Now you are acting like a flickering candle, uncertain, undetermined. What happened? And why are you okay with just assuming? The more you provide us with this story, the more I am being convinced you like the fantasy more than reality. You are definitely over complicating a simple human interaction that can escalate to romance. I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities for you to extend the invitation to him for watching a movie with you. Also, you know very well he likes you, the signs are clear, but you are still looking for additional validation. I understand you want him to make an overt display of affection for you, but maybe he can't muster the courage to do so because you have not really given him the green light. You have to make an effort as well, flirting and following through is not one sided.
Recommended Posts