Thaddius Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) To sum it up, half a year ago I met a girl I found really attractive, physically and emotionally. The only problem is that she is fairly inexperienced with guys and has never had anything intimate with a guy or boyfriend yet. We are both college students. 6 months ago, we had two dates and afterwards I went direct and told her that I thought she was really cute and expressed my interest in her, which came off really strong for her and made her uncomfortable. Because of this, I broke contact with her but of course we still see each other here and there as we go to the same university but just never really talked much more than simple greetings. Fast forward 6months and she reached out to me and we ended up arranging a meeting and rekindled our "friendship". Its been a month since than and we;ve hung out twice, once with a mutual friend and once alone with just us two, which was 2 days ago. Our conversations are good and we definitely have a good time. Normally I am a direct person and I dont like wasting time beating around the bush. But because of the first "rejection" i am also much more cautious around her as I still find her very attractive. My questions is, how do I approach this and escalate towards something more than friendship. I dont want to just be her friend but at the same time I dont want to scare her away again. How should I space the time in between interactions/dates? once a week? once every two weeks? Let me know if you have any questions and thanks in advance. Edited June 12, 2014 by Thaddius
Assasda Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Why do you feel the need to verbalize any of your feelings? This is not the movies. It you feel strongly about the girl, show her. Take her out and have a good time with her. Ask her a lot of questions about what she likes and stuff, stuff to show her youre not just her friend. Key thing... Dont get needy like you did before, let her determine what kinda relationship youre in and you'll be fine
PegNosePete Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 If you want more than she is prepared or ready to offer then I don't see how it's going to work. But feel free to give it a go, as Assasda said just go for it and see what happens.
Gaeta Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Delete the word 'hang out' of your vocabulary, invite her out on a real date, and make it clear it's a date by saying 'I would like to invite you out on a date'. 1
stillafool Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Also I don't see anything wrong with showing her affection. Hold her hand when you go out and yes try to kiss her. If she is inexperienced she will expect you to take the lead in this area.
Author Thaddius Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Why do you feel the need to verbalize any of your feelings? This is not the movies. It you feel strongly about the girl, show her. Take her out and have a good time with her. Ask her a lot of questions about what she likes and stuff, stuff to show her youre not just her friend. Key thing... Dont get needy like you did before, let her determine what kinda relationship youre in and you'll be fine You're right, verbalizing it was unnecessary and I did start unconsciously becoming needy from what I reflected. What are "stuff" to show im not just a friend. I've been pacing myself with not hangout with her too much and usually fall off the radar for a while after a date. Mostly because my schedule is just really busy but also because I dont want to seem overly needy.
Author Thaddius Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) Delete the word 'hang out' of your vocabulary, invite her out on a real date, and make it clear it's a date by saying 'I would like to invite you out on a date'. I asked her out on a date 6months ago and thats what scared her away. She said a hangout would of been much more comfortable Edited June 12, 2014 by Thaddius
Assasda Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I personally dont think there is anything wrong with hanging out with a woman that you want to be romantically involved with. I dont think it makes one bit of difference. I personally dont like the word "date". The conotation can put too much pressure on both people and ruin a casual, fun vibe. I'm more for the words "Go out". ie You want to go out to a movie?" -No pressure what so ever. Anyway how you let her see you as more than a friend. is how you pay attention to what she says. And how you compliment her. Compliment the women honestly. Its he's into politics, and youre blown away by what she knows, let her know that. If she has some funky shoes on, and you think that she's brave and stylish tell her. Never blow smoke up her ass. Also, maintain good eye contact, and smiling, and throw in little inuendos, once in a while to let her know, that youre not just friendly with her. (as some rappers would say. She could get it- if you know what I mean:cool:)
deathandtaxes Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I asked her out on a date 6months ago and thats what scared her away. She said a hangout would of been much more comfortable It ain't gonna work then. You want a date. She's not ready. Move along and save yourself headaches and heartache.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I kind of see it as you rejecting her. If you knew she was shy and inexperienced you should have slowed the pace. If you like someone, you work out where she is at not where you're at. It's not all about you. And hanging out is enough for anybody to get confused. You should have been intentional but progressional.
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