pappa k Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 So me and my ex broke up back in March and we have a 8 month old together . I screwed up our relationship with my drinking problem . I'm sober now 2 weeks . She calls me 2 Thursday's ago saying she wants to try again . Well last Monday rolls around and she decides things aren't working and won't tell me why . She gets back with a boyfriend for about a week . Saturday comes and she texts me saying she wants to try again . So I say yeah lets work this out had 3 good days of no fighting or anything . Today she decides again that things aren't working out . Saying if we got together her friends and family will never talk to her again . I just want her back. What do I do ?
Hope Shimmers Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 What do you do? You keep doing what you are doing. Congrats on stopping the drinking, but to have an effect on your family may take longer than two weeks. What you can do is keep at it!
Author pappa k Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I just don't know if she's messing with my head or if she actually wants me back. She says she can't trust me not to drink. I wish I could prove to her I'm done drinking.
mangetout Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 She is indecisive because she is scared. She is scared you will go back to drinking. You need to prove to her that you want to change but it's going to take time. But yes she does want to get back with you at the end of the day but not the way it was before 1
mangetout Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Why don't to try AA? Tell her that and she will think that you are really making effort
Author pappa k Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Why don't to try AA? Tell her that and she will think that you are really making effort Tried that but she didn't seem like it was enough .
Author pappa k Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Also she's worried about losing her friends and family . Idk how to explain to her that they will support her. They have her convinced that I'm just going to hurt her again.
mangetout Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Pappa that's kind of understandable that her friends and family are going to be protective. I think you need to understand that this is not going resolve overnight. It's going to take months to prove to her that you are in control of your drinking Were you physical with her when you drank?
Author pappa k Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 No I never was. I never hit her or anything like that.
carrie_o Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 You have plenty of time to show her that you've changed. After all, with a kid together, you will be in each other's lives for decades. Don't rush to get back together. Earn her trust back over time. Earn her friends' and family's trust back over time. Just do the best you can and things will work out! 1
pteromom Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 She was majorly burned, and she has to know that what she is stepping into is a calm lake, and not that same ol' pot of boiling oil. That is going to take time. If you want her back, the only way that will happen is through continued commitment to your sobriety. Two weeks isn't much, but it is a good start. Keep going. Do it for yourself. And you just may win her back in the process. Be a friend to her. Drop any expectations, promises, or difficult questions at this time. When you see her, just have a good time together and keep it light and fun. And let time do its work. 1
Author pappa k Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I just hate not being with her I was so happy when she said she wanted to work stuff out and for her to change her mind crushed my heart .
mrs rubble Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 So me and my ex broke up back in March and we have a 8 month old together . I screwed up our relationship with my drinking problem . I'm sober now 2 weeks . She calls me 2 Thursday's ago saying she wants to try again . Well last Monday rolls around and she decides things aren't working and won't tell me why . She gets back with a boyfriend for about a week . Saturday comes and she texts me saying she wants to try again . So I say yeah lets work this out had 3 good days of no fighting or anything . Today she decides again that things aren't working out . Saying if we got together her friends and family will never talk to her again . I just want her back. What do I do ? Am I the only one that noticed the bolded statement?? She needs to make up her mind. Does her family know that she's juggling boyfriends?? It sounds like you are both very young and a little immature. You be the grown up stable one, stay off the booze, because while your baby's mum is busy running around finding her next bed mate that baby needs a sensible sober parent.
Author pappa k Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 Am I the only one that noticed the bolded statement?? She needs to make up her mind. Does her family know that she's juggling boyfriends?? It sounds like you are both very young and a little immature. You be the grown up stable one, stay off the booze, because while your baby's mum is busy running around finding her next bed mate that baby needs a sensible sober parent. Yeah her family knows I think . Thats what i'm doing
Author pappa k Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 So should I not talk to her unless it's about our daughter ?
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