deathandtaxes Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 The whole mixed messages part is just the same clichéd bs. They're not being serious. They don't want to date. They don't want to be friends.
askmrknowitall Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 What's confusing, they both said they are involved with someone else. We don't waste our time going out with another man's woman. Ask yourself this, how could going out with another man's woman possibly be of any help toward you getting a woman of your own ? Everything that these women said after I'm seeing someone else at this time is irrelevant.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 So true. I've become a pro at polite rejections over the years. It's not the 500 guys that acted civilized...but the half dozen who scared me when rejected. We gals learn to give that nice grateful smile , say thanks in some appreciative way, then fudge the answer depending on the circumstance. . Hint. Don't ask a woman out in an environment where the two of you are alone away from other people. It makes me vulnerable and I will say anything at that point to get back to a safe area. I'm fit but no match for a male who loses it. I asked her out right after class on campus grounds, there were tons of people walking around. she also didn't seem the least bit concerned or afraid when I asked her out. We had been classmates for the whole semester, I wasn't a total stranger to her, she knew what kinda guy I was.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 What's confusing, they both said they are involved with someone else. We don't waste our time going out with another man's woman. Ask yourself this, how could going out with another man's woman possibly be of any help toward you getting a woman of your own ? Everything that these women said after I'm seeing someone else at this time is irrelevant. Oh so no girl has ever dated more than one guy at a time A girl isn't another man's girl! You make it sound as it the guy has property rights to the girl. In both cases it was obvious or at least they made it sound like it was still casual dating.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 13, 2014 Author Posted June 13, 2014 They KNOW nothing...volatile personalities can be quite benign until rejected. To be cautious is hard wired into every females brain, some react by being aggressive, some avoid contact and some by avoiding conflict. I've read quite a few articles and listened to enough female talk to know that some men, when rejected, can get violent and angry, at the very least making a scene. If they say they have a bf, end of discussion. She said "no" unless you just want to be friends, which is what they are offering. Not sure why this is hard for you to grasp, it is common behavior from women. They are thinking....Be friendly, do not be mean when you reject or it leads to confrontation. Men and women have different messages thrown at them concerning directness. I made a point of teaching my daughters to be direct and to take precautions, such as defense moves and carrying mace and pepper spray so they don't have to feel afraid of mercurial men. "No, thank yous" should suffice but you would be surprised at how many men will get angry and say things like, do you think you are too good for me? Entitled bitch, I'll show you...etc. There are men out there who vow to get even, stalk or rape a woman for saying "no." Read criminology reports locally or read the confessions of rapists, murderers, serial killers or kidnappers and they all say almost the same thing...she or another woman rejected him or looked down on him at one point. Women are very aware that almost every movie, tv show, news report and documentary on violence is aimed at them being the victim. Most of these men were rejected a lot...take Elliot for example, move on to Ramirez, Ridgeway, Chikatilo, etc. Then there are those who accuse them of playing games because they do not understand where they are coming from or the social constructs for their behavior. Educate yourself on sociology. Some men are hotheads and react from a place of deep sadness and it can lead to violence or confrontation. They know that not all men are like this, but they don't want to find out if you are. I always waited for overt interest such as hair twirling, incessant giggling, a date or sex invite from her, prolonged touching, moving incredibly close to me when talking, nervous chatter, following me with her eyes, etc. Find some books on body language. Learn the language, "I have a bf" is code for I don't want to upset you by overtly rejecting you or they really do have a bf. Sometimes it can sound wishy washy I imagine, as in first example, if the girl is a bad liar or is secretly an attention sponge who thrives on your admiration, but not into you. As for gameplaying, be glad those girls didn't say yes. Drama is what people like that thrive on. They are usually extremely immature and do not make successful gfs or dates because their character isn't firmly fixed yet. Jmo, good luck, Grumps Both girls did show clear signs of interest or I wouldn't have asked them out. Although admittedly things started to get a little colder with the first girl right before I asked her out. The week before that I was pretty convinced the girl was super into me and I felt like she wanted me to ask her out, but I waited until the following week, but I did feel like something changed in her during the week. Anyway, like I said in another post I don't think she was afraid I was going to blow up at her. That I am sure of.
Sunberry Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 They don't want to hurt your feelings. I admit I can be that way as well. Instead of being blunt--which depends on the situation--I try to cushion it. Just because, rejection hurts...
Do_The_Herp Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 If they say they have a bf, end of discussion. She said "no" unless you just want to be friends, which is what they are offering. Not sure why this is hard for you to grasp, it is common behavior from women. They are thinking....Be friendly, do not be mean when you reject or it leads to confrontation. Men and women have different messages thrown at them concerning directness. I made a point of teaching my daughters to be direct and to take precautions, such as defense moves and carrying mace and pepper spray so they don't have to feel afraid of mercurial men. I always waited for overt interest such as hair twirling, incessant giggling, a date or sex invite from her, prolonged touching, moving incredibly close to me when talking, nervous chatter, following me with her eyes, etc. Find some books on body language. Learn the language, "I have a bf" is code for I don't want to upset you by overtly rejecting you or they really do have a bf. OP, just realize that girls hate the sight of you but want to be "nice" because you come across as a harmless, "nice" young fellow. Oh, and if you've never ever even seen those signs that this good sir has just described, then it simply means that your physical appearance is grossly unattractive compared to the average man and probably even despised by the majority of the opposite sex. They're doing you a favor by not telling you how they *really* feel! You can't handle the truth, kid! It'd make you want to take up broad way acting and wearing frilly dresses with pink heart antennas on your head to pride parades! You should probably just kill yourself now, sir. I'll even take that journey with you, one ugly man to another. We can put paper bags over one another and suffocate ourselves so nobody has to stare into our ugly thyroid-condition-having-looking eyeballs until we're laid out on the autopsy tables for the white coats who signed up for it. OR, just had a great idea, maybe you could pay to have someone cut you up while you're alive, y'know, get work done on that abstract art you call a face, so you don't have to kill yourself for being an ugly failure in a world full of perfect statues.. Dat dere medical examinuh's gonna cut duh **** out yo bloated corpse anyway, son. Then you can trick some naturally attractive woman into loving you for who you are. Sure, the baby'll still be ugly, but once that hideous thing's crawled out of her birth canal like some laughably fake looking B-horror film rubber slug monster prop, it'll be too late, she can't just kill it with fire.. She's stuck with you and your ugly baby forever!! Chances are good she'll probably just pass out immediately after looking it in it's god forsaken eyes, and you can just tell the doctor that she has panic attacks all of the time, and to just sedate her to be wheeled home and locked up in the basement soon after. Then you can seek marriage counseling from the members of this site! Either way, I hate to bring up your hopes with these best-case-scenario fantasies.. I really feel like the doctor who has been burdened with the task of telling you that you have a cancer tumor in your brain the size of a golf ball and you're going to die a slow and painful death.. It's safe to say that the chances of you seeing a giggly nervous looking girl with twirly fingertips around her locks instead of a can of mace pointed at your face ol' dirty bastard style.. is not going to get any more likely with each new day as you get older, and heavier, and balder, and generally uglier. Too long didn't read version: OP, I have nothing better to do right now. Sue me. Just take my word for it, I'd just kill myself if I were you, it's the most logical solution to me. 1
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 OP, just realize that girls hate the sight of you but want to be "nice" because you come across as a harmless, "nice" young fellow. Oh, and if you've never ever even seen those signs that this good sir has just described, then it simply means that your physical appearance is grossly unattractive compared to the average man and probably even despised by the majority of the opposite sex. They're doing you a favor by not telling you how they *really* feel! You can't handle the truth, kid! It'd make you want to take up broad way acting and wearing frilly dresses with pink heart antennas on your head to pride parades! You should probably just kill yourself now, sir. I'll even take that journey with you, one ugly man to another. We can put paper bags over one another and suffocate ourselves so nobody has to stare into our ugly thyroid-condition-having-looking eyeballs until we're laid out on the autopsy tables for the white coats who signed up for it. OR, just had a great idea, maybe you could pay to have someone cut you up while you're alive, y'know, get work done on that abstract art you call a face, so you don't have to kill yourself for being an ugly failure in a world full of perfect statues.. Dat dere medical examinuh's gonna cut duh **** out yo bloated corpse anyway, son. Then you can trick some naturally attractive woman into loving you for who you are. Sure, the baby'll still be ugly, but once that hideous thing's crawled out of her birth canal like some laughably fake looking B-horror film rubber slug monster prop, it'll be too late, she can't just kill it with fire.. She's stuck with you and your ugly baby forever!! Chances are good she'll probably just pass out immediately after looking it in it's god forsaken eyes, and you can just tell the doctor that she has panic attacks all of the time, and to just sedate her to be wheeled home and locked up in the basement soon after. Then you can seek marriage counseling from the members of this site! Either way, I hate to bring up your hopes with these best-case-scenario fantasies.. I really feel like the doctor who has been burdened with the task of telling you that you have a cancer tumor in your brain the size of a golf ball and you're going to die a slow and painful death.. It's safe to say that the chances of you seeing a giggly nervous looking girl with twirly fingertips around her locks instead of a can of mace pointed at your face ol' dirty bastard style.. is not going to get any more likely with each new day as you get older, and heavier, and balder, and generally uglier. Too long didn't read version: OP, I have nothing better to do right now. Sue me. Just take my word for it, I'd just kill myself if I were you, it's the most logical solution to me. LOL, at first I was , but then it became a really hilarious post, good post dude.
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