Postponed 5th date

[darthelas]

So I posted about this girl a few weeks, but long story short I met her via OKC a few weeks ago. She is a librarian and a year older than me (I'm 31). Each date has gone well, kissing, hold hands, but it seems we are both taking it slow, which is fine with me.

 

Saturday we had our fourth date to the art museum in the city, afterwards she said she had a lovely time and she would text me about getting together this week. Later on Saturday she asked if I wanted to come out to the suburb where she lives and works, either tonight or tomorrow night. I said tonight would be good and we agreed that I would leave straight from work and we would meet up at the train stop near her work. We chatted a bit on and off since then, and last night plans were confirmed, we both expressed excitement. Anyway, today she sends a text apologizing but that she has to cancel. Work has turned into a "sh&t show" and she is really sorry. I say I understand and ask about rescheduling. She says she totally wants to reschedule but this week is terrible, she has to work 12 hours on Saturday, etc. She goes on to say that summer for a librarian is really bad and wants to know if she can text me "after surviving the weekend" and that she is sorry for being "totally lame right now". I respond saying that is fine, I've enjoyed spending time with her and am looking forward to seeing her, so it's cool if she wants to wait till then, that is sounds like work is really rough so I can't blame her, and that it will just give us something to look forward to after the weekend.

 

So I guess my reasoning for this post is I'm wondering if this is something to be concerned with, and did I handle it ok? And also, should I be concerned that no specific rescheduling was made (as of now anyway, she is at work as I write this, and communication is sporadic when she is there)? I know online dating can be finicky and that is has only been 4 dates, but she does seem interested, initiating of dates and any physical contact has been 50/50, and given the times we have conversations and her schedule, it seems very unlikely she is multi-dating, but that is definitely possible.

 

Sorry for the length and thanks for reading!

[Fondue]

Let her reschedule the date. She should secure a day that's good for her with an activity and everything planned.

 

Whomever cancels the date has the responsibility of rescheduling.

 

Carry about your business as usual and continue to investigate other prospects. Don't put all your eggs in one basket unless there is an established exclusive relationship where both parties put in effort.

 

But I repeat, do not be the one to reschedule.

[darthelas]

Definitely, which is what I think she was implying by asking if it was ok that she contact me after the weekend. But yeah, she clearly has the busier schedule than I do, so I'll let her suggest a new date.

[deathandtaxes]

I sour on these people who don't reschedule right away or who get so busy as to not date, which means they're usually not interested in YOU. She knows you're interested. The ball is in her court. Nothing else you need to do. Go live your life. And don't text her outside what you normally might text. No need to keep asking about rescheduling.

[d0nnivain]

If this happens constantly it could be a bad sign. But for right now it sounds like she's having a bad day & is doing the best she can.

 

 

See how long it takes her to reach out. If you don't hear from her by Monday, call once. If you don't get a concrete response, at that point you can write her off.

[angel.eyes]

Great response on your part. I would take her response at face value rather than reading into it. That approach worked really well for me when I did OLD. Sometimes work can get crazy.

 

Maintain whatever level of communication you had with her before this. Next week revisit scheduling the next date.