Kermit76 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) Long story short. Ex broke up with me after 2 years. We started to hangout the last two months and I slept with her last week. It was fun but my emotions got the best of me. I wanted to date her again. She said she doesn't know what she wants, wants to explore other people and to let her go. Gave me the cliche that the door isnt shut and only time will tell if we get back together. I said see ya. Said if u like to date call me. Now I'm back to NC and feel like its the break up all over again. Sigh. I do care for her but have to move on. She says she is scared to have me out of her life but I have no choice. Offered to her we can date and see other people. She has a all or nothing attitude. Realize she isnt into me and this is all bs. Just a lesson to u guys. Its her bd next month. Am I a jerk not to wish her a happy bd. She wished me one. I do feel sad. I had my ex back in my life and just like that she is gone again. Really tough to swallow but I guess this is life. Told her being friends doesn't work for me and we were never friends. She said I need to work on myself and to be happier. That nothing has changed since we broke up with me. I was depressed. Feel she is pointing the finger at me why this didn't work out. Grrr. Edited June 11, 2014 by Kermit76 1
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Do you feel you have changed or worked on the issues that caused the break up in the first place? Situations like this suck and it is something I am really afraid will happen if/when I reach out to my ex. All I can suggest is that you take it slow and try not to let your feelings surface any time soon. Avoiding her for the time being and working on yourself is the best thing you can do. As someone that wanted an ex back and "got her" for random and meaningless sex for a while, the last you can do is let feelings surface. She isn't looking for anything like that with your right now.
Author Kermit76 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Had to be honest and admit while im trying to change its going to take some time. She knows im working on myself. Seeing a social worker, went to a self help seminar. I did not show improvement to her while we reunited for 2 months. Some minor changes though. She said she thinks I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now. Maybe she is right. But I am making an effort. For me, not her. And most importantly for mmy next relationship. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Don't wish her a happy birthday. You continously get weak and cave and get sucked in by this woman, then you wonder why you always remain in the same place. I had a feeling this was going to be the result when you started talking to her again. You gave her a crutch, an ego boost, a good time in the sack. You need to completely detach and stay detached. How many times are you going to touch the flame before you realize that it will burn you? 2
Author Kermit76 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Very nicely said Simon. And you are 100% right. I am a good person, treated her well, and keep on getting hurt. No more excuses. Time to move on. Her loss.
Author Kermit76 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Won't wish her a happy bd too. Can't believe i got into this mess again.
irresolute Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Yes. Move on, no??? She broke with you in november. What part of the breakup you don't understand? I feel sorry for you. Please move on.
Author Kermit76 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) I agree. Not making excuses but it has not been one-sided. Meaning my ex has been choosing to hang with me and communicate with me. I've made the choice too. Everyone is different when they see the big picture. For me it took a little longer and some more heartache. But yes it's clear she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I get it. Its done with. Moving on. On to better things. I learned the hard way unfortunately. I'm human. Edited June 11, 2014 by Kermit76
irresolute Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I hate when they do that. Keep the hope. Give the minimum to keep you hooked. Sucks. The decision is yours. You need yo be free and find someone else. You're wasting your precious time. She'll never be yours.
Author Kermit76 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 I did put up a fight. But surrender. Let someone else deal with her nonsense.
irresolute Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Exactly. Just feel sorry for the next guy. That's the attitute.
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I did put up a fight. But surrender. Let someone else deal with her nonsense. I wouldn't say you surrendered. You put in all the fight possible but at the end of the day she didn't show up. She knows how hard you fought for her and how far you were willing to go but she decided she wasn't even going to give it a shot. Her loss. Learn from this experience, become a better person and let life take care of the rest. Just don't miss this lesson.
Author Kermit76 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Thanks for the wise words PhillyConnection.
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