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Posted

So my girlfriend of 8 weeks just left me, and i really want her back. But, thats not the reason for this post.

 

One of the things she said was a major factor in her leaving was that i had being doing some stuff that scared her. She said i was displaying stalkerish characteristics.

 

She mentioned specifically:

Calling her friend to talk about her.

Staying at her work(she works at starbucks)

Calling her a lot(3 or 4 times a day)

Being over protective

 

Now, there are circumstances behind all of these which made them a good idea, in my opinion, at the time, but i am leaving them out because i want to know if i really am approaching stalker status. Also, she isn't the first to say this, so its got me worried.

 

So, heres what i am asking:

Am I a stalker?

If so, how do I stop being one?

Posted

You're a little on the obsessed side, don'tcha think?!

 

You've been dating for 8 weeks? I've had bumps on my ass for longer than that.

 

Rethink your strategy.

Posted

You're letting her know ... you CAN'T live without her.... in a weird 'stalkerish' kinda way.... Cut it out... that will only push her away further. In fact, completely remove yourself from her and she'll think differently of you over time.

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Posted

So lets say i am obsessive. How can i stop?

 

It freaking kills me that my mood is so dependant on this girl, espically now in the sadness.

 

A note, when you say remove myself from her, i am doing that by not talking to her unless she calls me first etc. But, heres the problem. I live in a house with a bunch of college guys, and we have parties pretty much every week. And she is still coming to them. I don't want to stop going to my own parties, and i don't want her to stop coming. Is there anything i can do on that front, or is it ok becuase its her decision to come?

Posted

You've been with her for eight weeks. It's not quite long enough to stop the world from turning. Refocus on something else. Go out with friends, do something. Quit worrying about her. Let it go and get on with your life.

  • Author
Posted

Ok, fair enough. but i want to stop being so obsessive, is there anything i can do in a future relationship to avoid making this same mistake?

 

Raja

Posted

hmmm.... quit drinkin' Starbucks....

 

maybe start hangin' at Dunkin' Donuts. :p

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