Duude Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Firstly, I love this forum. It has helped me a lot and I wanted to finally share my story as well. I will give you the short version in dot points. * we first started dating/having sex for a few months (not exclusive) * she confess to having a boyfriend for the first couple of months but has since broken up with him.. She felt really guilty * I decided to continue our relationship and we soon became official * 4 years has gone by - we had ups and downs but mostly it was great * we talked about buying a place together to start a family * I was deeply in love * suddenly she broke up with me approximately 6 weeks ago due to "no longer feeling the same way" * I pleaded for another chance but it seems like she was already gone.. Cold and distant * a week later I found out she started hanging out with the same ex that she cheated on * I started low contact about a month ago... stalked her on social media a few times.. well most days to be honest * I'm trying the 'no contact' from today Am I correct in assuming: * she is a liar * she cheated on me with the ex that she has already cheated on? (I know this is confusing) * we were doomed from the start
Smarty Pants Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Hindsight is 20/20. But if you knew she had a boyfriend, you are also at fault and should have known she might do it to you too. If you didn't, when you found out about her bf, I would have taken a step back and thought about what kind of person she is. Having said that, I know it's hard and it sucks. You'll get the same advice from everyone here. NC. Work on yourself. And although those may seem like empty words, it really is the only advice worth listening to.
Chi townD Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Dude, you are correct in all your assumptions. The hardest part for you is going NC. I think this way, because she was never very truthful with you and what she told you and what she did are completely different. Therefore, I know you want to call her out on her BS but, to be honest, it won't make a damn bit of difference. So, start NC. I have a feeling that it shouldn't be a problem for you because you're in LC. But, I have a feeling that you're primarily the one that has to start contact. I have a feeling that it might take weeks before she realizes that you're gone. If this is the case, that would kind of give you an idea where you stood with her when you go NC.
Author Duude Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 I stayed with her after finding out she was a cheater because I loved her and she convinced me that she could never do anything to hurt me. Call me a fool but I really thought it was the right decision at the time. Our last communication was almost 4 weeks ago. She asked if I wanted to have lunch. I didn't want to have lunch with her and wasn't sure how to respond, so I didn't. No communication since. I did most things recommend in the No contact guide.. Delete her phone number.. Delete her photos from phone.. Unfriended from FB(along with her best friends).. Removed anything that reminded me of her from my room.. My problem is that I still stalk her online to confirm my assumptions.. I guess I'm at a point where I can stop stalking her(at least right now), because I understand, as chi townD said, it doesn't mean **** regardless what she did or didn't.
Chi townD Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Now that you've confirmed your assumptions, block her on Facebook. Unfriending still allows you to see their feeds. Block her and move on. Start making positive changes in your life and start NC.
Author Duude Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Now that you've confirmed your assumptions, block her on Facebook. Unfriending still allows you to see their feeds. Block her and move on. Done!!! Blocked her, her best friends, and even the other ex.. Feels a little guilty about blocking her friends since they were nice... Time for some personal improvement.. Sucks I feel like I'm 1/10 of the man I was when I met her...
Chi townD Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Done!!! Blocked her, her best friends, and even the other ex.. Feels a little guilty about blocking her friends since they were nice... Time for some personal improvement.. Sucks I feel like I'm 1/10 of the man I was when I met her... Dude, they're not going to notice unless they are actively looking for you. Even if they do, they'll probably think you deactivated your account.
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