wind willow Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Without him, I never knew what I wanted from life. With him, I realized what would make me happy for the rest of my life. Together we had the skills and ability to make our common goals a reality, to not just have a better life for ourselves but to improve it for others. Everything about him fit the holes I hadn't even known were in my life. But he wasn't willing to give me the dedication everyone deserves from a relationship, so I had to break it off. With him, life had a purpose. By myself, I can't accomplish those things we both wanted. I don't have his half of the skills or the motivation to do it without him. I just want to go back to not caring that I don't have a purpose and not caring that I don't know what I want. I don't know how to go back.
OwMyEyeball Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Identify the holes then find out how you can fill them yourself. There's your purpose. Your motivation? It will complete you as a person and no longer will you have to rely on one single person to feel fulfilled. Relationships will be a personal choice, not a lifetime necessity. You may still be feeling raw from the break up. Give yourself some time and space to heal. You don't need to gather all the answers on any given schedule. You'll be fine. Best wishes.
Author wind willow Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) Identify the holes then find out how you can fill them yourself. The holes aren't things I want to fill myself. As an example. I'm not a people person. I gave up trying to be a people person, because it was way more effort than I was getting out of it. There's your purpose. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I don't want a purpose. I was happy without one. I want to get back to that. I guess the concept is counter-intuitive to most people, but I liked not feeling like I needed to have some specific thing that I needed to accomplish. That worked for me. Your motivation? It will complete you as a person and no longer will you have to rely on one single person to feel fulfilled. Relationships will be a personal choice, not a lifetime necessity. Again sorry for the misunderstanding. I've never been a person who felt like a relationship was a necessity. I was very happy with that not being something I needed. That's what I mean that I want to get back to myself. But now I feel lost, because I let myself want things that I could have accomplished with him but can't accomplish by myself. And even if I could, they wouldn't be the same without him. I don't want "a relationship". I want the life that could have been the result of the combination of the unique interests and skills of him and myself and the mutual desire to see them through together. I've thought about finding a platonic partner to try to accomplish the goal we wanted that involved helping others. But it would be very hard to find someone I could cooperate with like that and my heart just wouldn't be in it the same way. You may still be feeling raw from the break up. Give yourself some time and space to heal. You don't need to gather all the answers on any given schedule. You'll be fine. Best wishes. Maybe that is the answer. But patience has never been a strength of mine. Edited June 11, 2014 by wind willow
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