Js2493 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Hey everybody. So it's been about 3 1/2 months post BU for me and I guess you could say I'm in the anger phase. I still have the days where I'm sad and think what if, but I now realize my relationship was toxic and would lead to a dead end if it were ever to be given another chance. My problem is this: I'm having trouble dealing with the anger I have towards her and myself (but mostly me). I feel pathetic for being a doormat for so long and not realizing my self worth. I've never been a very confident person (which explains why I hung around so long). I was with the girl for 2 years and she told me I would never be good enough for, didn't deserve her, and she never knew if she loved me. How can something like that not eat away at you?! Anyways, any advice would be appreciated. It was my first real relationship so this process is all kind of new to me. So far, I'm taking as many hours at work as possible, reconnecting with old friends, working out a lot, playing sports with friends, etc. I know they say "no relationship is a waste of time because if it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you didn't want" but right now it's hard not to feel like I really did waste 2 years of my life! Anyways, thanks for reading and to anyone going through difficult times with their breakup, please do not forget that it WILL get better and every single one of you is worthy of someone great!
True Gent Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 The anger is a tricky one because there isn't a lot you can do to release it physically. I'm 7 months out of a 9 year relationship and I still feel incredible anger. You're doing all of the right things by keeping busy seeing friends and excercising, that's all incredibly good for your well being. All you can do is take it as a lesson in life, don't think that you've wasted 2 years. You must of got some good from the relationship and at least you have learned that you need to respect yourself and not be a doormat. I must confess that I do sometimes curse my ex out loud to myself and it does kinda give a sence of release. Just try not to dwell, I know it's hard. 1
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I'm right there with you. I'm about 2 1/2 months post break up and I woke up this morning angry at her. Angry at what she threw away and angry for not trying a little bit harder when I was so willing to. But you are right, there is no outlet for it but living your life. It is a natural reaction and soon it will pass. Just think how far you have come already! I'm sure the first few weeks were incredibly difficult and you felt like doing nothing but laying in bed. Now you are getting out, working out, spending time with friends, learning who you are as a person. These are all great things that will make you a better person in the long run. Finally you will recognize why the relationship didn't work out and come to terms with you. Hopefully you will be able to forgive yourself and your ex and move on with life. It WILL be worth it in the end!
learning_slowly Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I think you have to realise that if they went out with you at all, they didn't think you were not worth it. Would you waste 2 years of your life with somebody who is not worth it? Maybe you did change or they met someone else. Whatever the reason, they've moved on and don't care whether you're angry or happy. So stop being angry, as it's only harming you. Worry about making yourself happy!
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