O_Boy Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Hey guys, got a question for y'all I'm 32 with very little dating experience. I had a 4 month relationship a few years back (we went strait into a relationship, no dating beforehand) and since then have been off and on doing the online dating thing, but only once has it ever progressed past the 3rd date so really I have very little experience myself. Last night I had a date with a girl a family member had set me up with. It's my first real date without having an online profile to look at first. Hah. Anyway, it was a bit awkward at first since we were both nervous and the conversation didn't start flowing until halfway thru. However, pretty early on I learned that she has zero dating experience, and she's 31. This was her first date ever. I think the only real issue I'm aware of right now is we're *both* inexperienced. All my dates so far have been with women that have experience, or at least enough to know what to do, so I'm used to being told when I do something wrong or looking for clues as to what to do next. Without that, with me being in the lead the entire time, I'm worried I'm really going to mess up. Anyway, is there anything I should be concerned about, or watch for, or do / say, or...anything, really. I guess I'm looking for thoughts / comments about my situation, if you have any. For the record, I think the date went well overall and we already had a second date setup before the first was done. Not my best performance by far, and I'm not sure how I feel regarding sparks, but I'm still eager to see her again. Thanks!
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Just take things slowly. Ask Qs. Pay attention to the answers. Be polite. 1
Assasda Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 When you go on a date you perform? I know some people do.... but avoid doing that. Just try to have fun. The experience really means nothing in my opinion. If 2 people enjoy each other's company, then there toy are!
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Oh my goodness! this is perfect!!!!!! you BOTH have not much experience! I kinda envy you! you can learn together! and if either of you mess up, you'll have no one to compare it to! No one telling you, this isn't correct , or do it like this, you can learn! you're each other's guinea pig! I say go for it, but go for it slowly and open up one day at a time! good luck!
David87 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Be yourself, have fun and don't overthink everything . 1
Author O_Boy Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) Assasda: When I say performance, it's more a expression than anything, I'm not actually acting like someone I'm not. I much prefer the woman to get to get to know the real me than some act All: Wow, wasn't expecting this reaction, I was totally expecting "no experience? run!" or something like that. This makes me feel a lot better. And yeah, I guess we are each others guinea pigs. This could be fun! EDIT: Also, yes, I do want to take this slow. My first relationship went strait from friendship to relationship (including "moving in" on day 1) so things moved really fast. Since I didn't know any other way of progressing a relationship I ended up going way too fast with my second (very brief) one and it scared her off. She broke it off after just a few days of us being exclusive. I don't want to do that again, but I'm getting hints here and there that she's a fast mover too. Edited June 11, 2014 by O_Boy
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Go gradual. In the beginning 1-2 dates & 1-2 other contacts (phone, text, FB) per week. Increase that gradually over the next 6 months to a year. Even when you are firmly together you don't have to spend 7 days per week together. Really get to know somebody before you move in with them. Everyone's different but for me there's no way I would even have a discussion about moving in until I'd been with them at least 1 year . . . to know how they handle various situations, especially stressful holidays.
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