heart12 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Ex and I broke up just over a year ago... she moved away. She resurfaced a month+ ago. Every time we talk/message she tells me we have to go here or there...dinner at this place and that together etc... Then she sometimes answers and sometimes ignores messages. Last time she was in town about a month ago we were supposed to go for dinner but she put it off a couple times for different reasons. I then went NC again and she resurfaced. I've heard everything from I miss you to I wish you were here with me etc... Three days ago she asks if I've been to this new spot and we should go next week. I try to set it up a few days later and she doesn't even respond to the message. So wtf?
Simon Phoenix Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Stop chasing. If she suggests a meet up, just respond and say "Sure, tell me when and I'll meet you there". Then if she responds, you meet at that time. If she doesn't, you make other plans. Or you stop talking to her at all because you can't handle the contact.
Frank2thepoint Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 The real question you should be asking yourself and answer is if you really want something with her again. If yes, then make your intentions clear, and ask her what she wants. Otherwise, why are you even entertaining the idea only to have her make a fool of you by cancelling on the dates?
Author heart12 Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 I do want something with her again... but easier to do things in person. She keeps telling me she wants to do this and that together but then ignores my message to do so? Going to leave it alone for now I guess and if she resurfaces then so be it.
toolforgrowth Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I do want something with her again... but easier to do things in person. She keeps telling me she wants to do this and that together but then ignores my message to do so? I feel as though she's keeping you on the backburner. As long as she can keep you interested, she can go back to you on her timetable, not yours. Just go NC. As in, REAL NC. Block and delete her number. Block her email. Block her on FB. If she really wanted to spend time with you, she'd make it happen. Live your life in the meantime. If she resurfaces and actually means it, you can decide what you want to do then.
redbaron005 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Maybe turn the tables a bit and say something like "If you'd like to talk, I am usually at ___ cafe on Sundays around 1230. Feel free to join me sometime." That way there is no commitment and less pressure.
Lani Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 She doesn't know what she wants, so is keeping you on a string until she does.. Next time she contacts you, ask her what gives with the non responses, and tell her you're not interested in anything with her if it's only going to be on her terms. Then you stop contacting her and trying to set things up. If she really wants to see you she will make sure it happens.. which doesn't sound likely I'm afraid.
DKT3 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 The others are correct, she is doing just enough to keep and gage your interest level in her. Its ego stroking to know that your ex still wants you. If you don't believe us, cut her off. Don't respond and watch her turn it up a few levels. The more unavailable you become the hard she will work to get and keep your attention. Yes she is playing games, learn to play it better or move on.
Author heart12 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Well she got back last night and messaged me this morning telling me how excited she is to see me and if we could go Monday instead as her friend just got back and she'll be with her/friends this weekend. Thirty minutes later I don't answer and she sends me a pic of something she finds funny. Haven't answered yet. Been a couple hours.
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I'd stop running after her. Since she can find you, next time she reaches out say something along the lines of -- set it up, call me the day before to confirm & I'll be there. See what she does then
Author heart12 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 I'd stop running after her. Since she can find you, next time she reaches out say something along the lines of -- set it up, call me the day before to confirm & I'll be there. See what she does then Well she just did reach out...
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Well she just did reach out... Did you tell her to call the restaurant make a reservation & confirm it with you the day before?
Author heart12 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 It was hours ago and I haven't responded yet... let her wait a bit too.
mangetout Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 When you meet her next ask her what she wants out of this. Ask her outright why it takes her days to reply The earlier you know the better...instead of guessing and mind games.
Recommended Posts