The effect of good looking people

[CrystalCastles]

And I'm merely a plain Jane with nice teeth.

 

My good friend is very good looking. I am average yet I have a bf who is as devoted and crazy about me as her bf is.

 

I refuse to be treated sub par by men simply because my face is not pretty.

 

Then why do you upload so many photos of yourself on Loveshack? If I thought I didn't have a pretty face, I sure wouldn't be posting pictures of my face all over the internet.

 

I never understand why people do that. Unless they're fishing for compliments. I genuinely want to know.

 

[Leigh 87]

Then why do you upload so many photos of yourself on Loveshack? If I thought I didn't have a pretty face, I sure wouldn't be posting pictures of my face all over the internet.

 

I never understand why people do that. Unless they're fishing for compliments. I genuinely want to know.

 

 

 

Because I like my teeth and smile. I have a couple of nice features and I show them off. Who cares if an average gal like me puts up her picture? It's not hurting anyone.

[Anela]

Its not a generalization....women here have proved it to me for the past 5 years.

 

When I travel to other states I get treated totally different.

 

Hell....even when I went south to Columbus it was different!

 

But here in the NE corner of the state....stuck up city!

 

It IS a generalization. So MOVE if you get treated differently there - I would think that it would be worth it.

 

My cousin who just got married? Short AND bald. He wouldn't have found his wife, if he'd had that attitude. He moved on from one woman who was running up all of his credit cards, and even ended up getting arrested for something, at some point, to this woman at work, who liked him. She showed interest as soon as he was single, because he's such a great guy. If he'd taken the, "She took me for a ride, she cost me all of that money, she's the scum of the earth, and so are ALL women" route, he wouldn't have been looking so damned happy in the pictures that were posted to Facebook yesterday. He's a good guy - a short, bald, good guy, from NE Ohio - born here, and spent all of his life here.

[Leigh 87]

Then why do you upload so many photos of yourself on Loveshack? If I thought I didn't have a pretty face, I sure wouldn't be posting pictures of my face all over the internet.

 

I never understand why people do that. Unless they're fishing for compliments. I genuinely want to know.

 

 

 

 

Why the heck is it hard for you to understand that non pretty women like me still enjoy showing off their good features?

 

I find it alarming that a "plain girl" is bizarre for liking her smile and wanting to show it off.

 

Just because I'm not pretty doesn't mean I want to hide under a rock and never show my face unless I have to. Ludacris!!

[SpiralOut]

I don't feel this way very often. Intelligence, however, intimidates me. A smart man is HOT. I remember when I was 23 I had a slight crush on one of my profs who must have been in his 50s, and didn't exactly look young. He was so damn smart.

 

I feel more conscious of how stupid I might sound when I'm talking to a smart man. If he's also good-looking that makes it even worse.

[jay1983]

I'm bald too....and I've been told by most women that they dont like it. When I wear a hat in a bar sometimes I have over heard women commenting "Its a cue-ball convention in here tonight"....voicing their dislike for all the guys that shave their head nowadays.

 

Just because YOU have a woman doesnt mean its works for everyone else. Do you think I'm that f'n stupid that your one situation is going to change my whole world??

 

My confidence is not the issue here. I cant stand when people use that stupid word over and over. Confidence has nothing to do with changing the mind of a woman that doesnt like bald guys that are 5'8!! I can be super confident and if women want a tall guy than nothing will change that.

 

Stop focusing on me and trying to dodge the fact that looks take a back seat to height. Anyone with common sense knows this. You can find some exceptions here and there.....but dont try to act like its the majority.

 

Dude I'm 5'11" with hair and I'm having the same problems you are. I get a lot of big girls coming on to me, which wouldn't be a problem if I was a big guy I'd date Molly from Mike and Molly, but I'm 180lbs.

 

Oh well nothing we can do about it. I'm gonna heat up a pizza pocket.

[jay1983]

I've got a friend of mine, right now going crazy over a guy who's really handsome.

[littleplanet]

Why the heck is it hard for you to understand that non pretty women like me still enjoy showing off their good features?

 

I find it alarming that a "plain girl" is bizarre for liking her smile and wanting to show it off.

 

Just because I'm not pretty doesn't mean I want to hide under a rock and never show my face unless I have to. Ludacris!!

 

 

You rock, Leigh.

 

I think you just proved right there what this thread is really all about.

We're constantly inundated with media-manipulated perfection....pickled in the stuff.

I suspect the reason why you have a romantically successful life has to do with a lot more than your looks.

 

What makes us feel beautiful? (I don't mean "look" beautiful)

What gets reflected back to us by those who look deeper than skin.

 

The tyranny of "looks" reflects how superficial we can be. And this wasn't invented yesterday. It's been around a long, long time.

Salome was tossing veils back when it was already an old routine.

 

Beauty can be a dangerous thing.....both to its possessor, and beholder.

 

I once discovered a remarkable photograph - (I have it still.)

The August 1988 edition of National Geographic magazine.

It has within its pages an article about South Africa (which was a real mess at the time.)

Anyway, there was a full page photograph taken at a beauty pageant.

A skinny white contestant was spread against, arms reaching upward, the side of a canvas tent. She is tall, blonde, curvy.

The look on her face (seen in profile) is hard, cold, severe. (tension...she's a contestant, after all.)

 

Behind her, is a short, round, dumpy, plain little black woman. Her.........servant? Attendant?

This woman is pulling tight the strings that close up the back of the white woman's gown........ As tight as the snarl on the contestant's face.

On the face of the black woman (seen also in profile) is the most peaceful, serene expression imaginable. She is practically glowing.

 

Now......which one of the two do you think wins (the real) beauty contest?

That the answer to this question is hardly obvious - shames us all.

[Speakingofwhich]

I have a gf who prefers bald men with beards. I think it's because she fell in love with a bald guy who had a beard and was between 5'6" and 5'8" at the most. He had lots of gfs. He wouldn't commit to her, though, so she married someone else. A guy who's over six feet tall and has a full head of hair! Hahaha, she's probably tried to get him to shave it!

 

Also, my brother has very little hair and shaves his head. When my niece met him for the first time (in her early 20s, he in his 50's) she swooned, pronounced him a babe magnet, and had her young husband shave his head which he did for over a decade.

 

I think it was mostly these two guy's personalities. Their personalities are very different but both are very self assured. The ones guy's face is average in appearance and my brother is attractive but not overly so.

[CrystalCastles]

Why the heck is it hard for you to understand that non pretty women like me still enjoy showing off their good features?

 

I find it alarming that a "plain girl" is bizarre for liking her smile and wanting to show it off.

 

Just because I'm not pretty doesn't mean I want to hide under a rock and never show my face unless I have to. Ludacris!!

 

I think you misunderstood me. I don't have a problem with people posting pictures of themselves. The reason why I asked you that question is because I think you don't think of yourself as average.

 

In many of your posts you talk a lot about your looks and how smitten your bf is with you. What are you trying to prove? In my personal experience, people who do that don't think they look at all average. They write that they are average so that others come over and tell them they're not, and that actually they're beyond gorgeous, etc.

 

If you truly think you are beautiful, stop writing that you're average. Be genuine and honest with yourself and other people. That is all.

[jay1983]

I have a gf who prefers bald men with beards. I think it's because she fell in love with a bald guy who had a beard and was between 5'6" and 5'8" at the most. He had lots of gfs.

 

I've seen that, true some guys look good with shaved heads and beards. I had something I was working on for about 3 months, but I shaved it for a job interview.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Then why do you upload so many photos of yourself on Loveshack? If I thought I didn't have a pretty face, I sure wouldn't be posting pictures of my face all over the internet.

 

I never understand why people do that. Unless they're fishing for compliments. I genuinely want to know.

 

 

Wait....so just because someone considers themselves plain they should hide forever and never upload pictures of themselves anywhere? Believe it or not, you can be plain and not hate yourself.

 

By your logic, are we to assume you're ugly since you haven't uploaded any photos at all?

 

In many of your posts you talk a lot about your looks and how smitten your bf is with you. What are you trying to prove? In my personal experience, people who do that don't think they look at all average. They write that they are average so that others come over and tell them they're not, and that actually they're beyond gorgeous, etc.

 

I don't recall Leigh mentioning her boyfriend was smitten with her because of her looks so.... At any rate, this is a dating and interpersonal relationships advice site after all. Looks and attraction are often discussed. What else should she be talking about?

 

Maybe retract those claws a little?

Edited June 11, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra

[todreaminblue]

When i use to date a lot, and went out with girlfriends for a night out i would see attractive guys or notice certain guys not often and i would say to my good looking girlfriends

i think that guy is hot, this one time i went out i noticed him straight away because he could dance and he was dancing with modelesque types thin long legged blonde beauties you know perfect teeth i had rabbit front teeth that were in front i had an overbite, i am short lol and had long brown hair, no make up on because i dance it off ........

 

well this guy was 6 foot four not thin not fat,model body italian and pretty popular with the lasses

 

 

my girl told me ask him deb he has been watching you......i said bull and thought nothing more after a nah he wouldnt like me, my girlfriend went up to him and says hey my friend likes you her name is deb, dance with her......he came straight up ...and danced every song with me after that till dawn...then he drove me home...we went out for six or seven months...i ended it because his mum had just lost her husband.....he actually fell in love with me in spite of what i looked like and i loved him because he showed me more respect than i had received in a long time...so its sort of a reverse situation but i did learn ......that not all hot guys would pass me by, and that i have something that is attractive to guys i wouldn't think of asking , but it is more about what is inside that counts..and that nothing is impossible......even finding a guy who respects me......for me and finds me hot too even though i am not......so its all perspective......with attraction ...we are often our own worst enemy.....

[CrystalCastles]

Wait....so just because someone considers themselves plain they should hide forever and never upload pictures of themselves anywhere? Believe it or not, you can be plain and not hate yourself.

 

By your logic, are we to assume you're ugly since you haven't uploaded any photos at all?

 

Hm, it didn't seem like Leigh thinks she's plain. Did you read my most recent post? Can you maybe tone down your own claws? I don't always get the tone of Leigh's posts. If Leigh genuinely likes the way she looks, she can post away. But she seems to stress a lot on how plain she is. I wanted to know why that was necessary.

 

My point is that, if Leigh thinks she's beautiful, she should go ahead and say it! If she's proud of the way she looks, why should she not say that either? My point, which you obviously missed, is that it would be nice not to have to fake modesty. I don't think Leigh is plain. I think she's pretty. I think many other people on Loveshack agree with me. So I find it annoying when Leigh posts "I'm plain" because I get the feeling that she is saying that because it is accepted by society to downplay your thoughts about yourself. It is frowned upon to call your own self beautiful because that is seen as "immodest" and "arrogant". I think that if Leigh thinks she's beautiful, she should stop calling herself plain.

 

Assume away. I really don't give a hoot as to what some random thinks of me.

Edited June 11, 2014 by CrystalCastles

[ascendotum]

ES - I wonder if you were not single if you would think the same. I suspect not, but curious to know if you think you would. Many women say if they are in a relationship & happy with it, that they ignore a lot of attractive guys that are around them.

 

For me, in your example if I had an attractive female boss, I don't think I would work extra hard to impress her. I would like to think I put in as much effort to do a good job just the same if she was fat & mannish. If she was a tough, take no shyte, extra critical type of a boss, then I would take extra care/effort. I try to not treat people differently based on their attractiveness (sometimes cant help it). I guess I am more conscious of it than many because I have experienced the differences at time in my life, and certainly noticed the contrast. Sucks to be treated less. I'd say the majority of of people do subconsciously treat more attractive people better, even at a minor level.

[2.50 a gallon]

Actually, some of the best looking women that I have known, did not realize how good looking they were. Some of them look in the mirror and think that their nose is all wrong or there ears are too big, etc. My Ex fiancé claimed she had the ugliest nose. For her it was too big. She had the face of a young Sophia Loren, including the great nose.

 

 

My current lady has no idea how good looking she is. She is totally out of my league in the looks department. She is a 60 year old grandmother of a teenager, and still has a flat stomach and an hour glass figure, and great long legs. She does not have a clue how hot she is, and it is not an act, as I have been with her coming up on 19 years.

 

 

5'8", that is tall in my book. A pair of cowboy boots and a tall cowboy hat would put you over 6'. Sounds like someone is just looking for an excuse for why they failed.

[todreaminblue]

I don't feel this way very often. Intelligence, however, intimidates me. A smart man is HOT. I remember when I was 23 I had a slight crush on one of my profs who must have been in his 50s, and didn't exactly look young. He was so damn smart.

 

I feel more conscious of how stupid I might sound when I'm talking to a smart man. If he's also good-looking that makes it even worse.

 

 

I make smart men laugh, i think its because i am goofy but i had some awesome discussions with a schizophrenic professor.he had a very thoughtful manner, and i made him laugh, he always had time for me.I am not intimidated by smart men i ask questions, loads of them what books they read how they went at school, what they wanted to be vs what they became what they would prefer to do if they could go back and try again, what their passions are and the conversations go for hours because they become interested in talking to me and finding out about me...every word i don't understand i ask them to explain or clarify ....

 

 

professors love to talk to impart to spread the wealth,especially lecturers they do it for free if you show them how much you enjoy hearing what they say, they love questions, many have asked me teachers and professors to firther my studies i cant pick too many things i want to know to understand marine biology theology vet science philosophy psychology forensics and criminal science, law so many avenues i get lost...i left high school early to be a wran.don't have a hsc and won't be going to university..deb

Edited June 11, 2014 by todreaminblue

[Leigh 87]

I think you misunderstood me. I don't have a problem with people posting pictures of themselves. The reason why I asked you that question is because I think you don't think of yourself as average.

 

In many of your posts you talk a lot about your looks and how smitten your bf is with you. What are you trying to prove? In my personal experience, people who do that don't think they look at all average. They write that they are average so that others come over and tell them they're not, and that actually they're beyond gorgeous, etc.

 

If you truly think you are beautiful, stop writing that you're average. Be genuine and honest with yourself and other people. That is all.

 

 

 

 

Just no.

 

I absolutely do not think I am pretty. I know my league. I just don't abide by it.

 

I can see I am plain, I view myself as meh, plain. BUT I refuse to have to ACT like " oh I am not beautiful so if hot guy takes an interest in me, I will shrug it off cos, you know, I am clearly different from the pretty girls he normally goes for"

 

I am a positive person so I really like my smile and my eyes. While still viewing myself and KNOWING that others view me as average, 100% plain, even unattractive.

 

I just work what I have and show it off even though I don't think I am pretty and I know I am not to 90% of others. Probably more like 95% of others find me average or ugly.

 

I refuse to let the look hierarchy dictate how I act. I don't think I should act any different around men and woman because they are pretty and I am not pretty.

 

I also speak of my adoring boyfriend because I am a HUGE advocate for average gals like me getting guys who are crazy about us and our looks. It happens, it is about your soul and playing up your nice features!

[Leigh 87]

Hm, it didn't seem like Leigh thinks she's plain. Did you read my most recent post? Can you maybe tone down your own claws? I don't always get the tone of Leigh's posts. If Leigh genuinely likes the way she looks, she can post away. But she seems to stress a lot on how plain she is. I wanted to know why that was necessary.

 

My point is that, if Leigh thinks she's beautiful, she should go ahead and say it! If she's proud of the way she looks, why should she not say that either? My point, which you obviously missed, is that it would be nice not to have to fake modesty. I don't think Leigh is plain. I think she's pretty. I think many other people on Loveshack agree with me. So I find it annoying when Leigh posts "I'm plain" because I get the feeling that she is saying that because it is accepted by society to downplay your thoughts about yourself. It is frowned upon to call your own self beautiful because that is seen as "immodest" and "arrogant". I think that if Leigh thinks she's beautiful, she should stop calling herself plain.

 

Assume away. I really don't give a hoot as to what some random thinks of me.

 

 

I have truly beautiful friends, one girl is an international supermodel. I know I am not "one of pretty girls" by societies standards. I know my place lol after living in international cities with a lot of beautiful women:lmao:

 

Which brings me to this post: I do not treat beautiful people different, and I still act the same way and demand the same respect from men for instance, as my beautiful friend does! I do not act differently towards pretty girls, and I don't assume I will get treated differently because I know I am not very pretty.

 

Surely there are other gals like me who honestly know they are plain yet know that they are still pretty to SOME minority and to hold out for partners who view them as truly beautiful (even though society at large doesn't view them as a "beautiful" person)

[Silly_Girl]

I find it weird how much effect looks can have on me. I work with this professor that is in his mid 40s but looks much younger and he has movie star type of looks. I am not interested in him as he is married and even if he wasn't, I wouldn't go for someone that hot (so I take back what I said about older men ).

 

Anyway, I feel super intimidated and weird around him and I know it's because of the way he looks. I also want to work extra hard to impress him. I wonder how many others feel that way. It's like looks are an advantage even in non-romantic settings and they are pure genetic lottery

 

I think it works in reverse for me. Because I am not a looker I have found *some* really good-looking people to be arrogant (probably jealousy!) and so I always wonder if that's how people who look fab will be. Often I am pleasantly surprised, but I don't start out at all in awe or intimidated

[todreaminblue]

I think it works in reverse for me. Because I am not a looker I have found *some* really good-looking people to be arrogant (probably jealousy!) and so I always wonder if that's how people who look fab will be. Often I am pleasantly surprised, but I don't start out at all in awe or intimidated

 

i am not intimidated either by good looking men because i participated in mud runs with full grunt gear on right along side them , they sweat and struggle the same as women do and they admire perseverance as much as the female species does its nothing about looks its character they might have beaten me in the field but at the end of the working week when i went out i put on a pretty dress a pair of good hi top sneakers...and danced them under the table. good looking not s good looking...character counts the most thats why when i had fun with them the women didnt like it....they were much prettier than me......they just couldnt have fun and their heels yeah cant dance in heels against sneakers....lol...their jealousy showed and the good looking men actually who were nice guys( soldiers often are its code of conduct) didnt respect the way they eventually treated me good looking or not those women...they made my life difficult and i had to leave.honestly i should have stayed but i wasnt meant to not then too young at heart..looks dont trump character and looks are not intimidating bad behaviors and spitefulness always intimidates a happy heart..deb .

[Ninjainpajamas]

Working in Los Angeles you run into a lot of good looking people, in a lot of professions you likely normally wouldn't necessarily see really good looking people in.

 

But I think at least for me living here, you kind of become accustomed to it...sure men still pine over attractive women and treat them a little "special", especially married men with younger hotter women in the work place who at times act like dogs making a break for it out of the front gate because you accidentally left the gate unlocked..but I think the "glow" is less significant here and people are a bit more conditioned to it..not that men aren't going to be interested in women here any less than anywhere else...I think the dynamic at least here is attractive people generally get more leniency and better perks, they have a little more leeway in screwing up and mouthing off, that's no real shocker here if not common and accepted knowledge, you see people using their looks to get ahead all of the time or at least trying to...especially if it's an attractive woman in question with a male boss.

 

As far as how I personally treat them, I may be affected by a woman's beauty but I sure as well wouldn't ever let her know it at least not right off the bat. I do once in a while get that gut-wrenching "good god, that woman is absolutely stunning" but I've got to maintain my composure, I don't want her to know she's got the best of me in that regard call it pride or decency, last thing I want to do is join the rabble of men grumbling at her feet offering her tokens of affections in words or gifts/special treatment, regardless of whether it gets me anywhere or not. So after that initial "shock" I'll mellow down and get a hold of myself and conduct myself as I would normally conduct myself, although I may have been a little rattled initially. In the work place I hold a very professional and stoic like demeanor because I have my priorities, It's business more than pleasure for sure, my paycheck is more important to me than the beauty radiating from someones face as I'm not there to pick-up women but get ahead and a solid reputation. So that emotion takes precedence over my attraction and I don't want a philanderer or flirty title in the work place that's for sure, I'd rather have respect.

 

There was one occasion with my dentist; who happens to be very attractive woman, that you wouldn't ever think was a dentist seeing her walk out of her office in her heels and snazzy business suit...but was also doing dental work for a friend of mine. But my friend was having a difficult time receiving treatment for an aching tooth that they were working on the crown for...she was in a lot of pain, and she went back a number of times and they kept failing each time and were making excuses and delaying her, it seemed like she was getting nowhere after I think even a month and a handful of visits, having to take time from work each time, and in pain enough to cause tears, which in my book is absolute ridiculousness.

 

Well I was pretty furious at the treatment process and how they were handling it, and if there is one thing that pisses me off it's incompetence and neglect. So I dragged the dentist and her head secretary/nurse/dental assistant or whoever she was who had been at least somehow in charge/knowledgeable of all this into a small little room and I unloaded a firestorm of criticism and disappointment...my friend, is afraid of confrontation and to voice her real feelings and demand any kind of proper treatment out of fear of causing too many waves, she wouldn't be able to engage them like this herself so I channeled her frustration through me. The room was quiet and I could see the hairs standing on the back of the dentist's neck in shock, although I was not screaming, I've got a deep voice and I was stern and was sure to be heard very clearly...she tried make arguments here and there but I had a rebuttal for everything that came out of her mouth. In the objective truth I was completely justified and had appropriate expectations, my friend was even in tears and even her colleagues were nodding their head in agreement because you could tell that they were completely understanding and knew we had all the right in the world to be upset about this...the dentist was trying to remain composed but I know she felt attacked and even questioned me on why I was doing this and not my friend in which I had to remind her that not all people are comfortable with confrontation and voicing their discontent in which she at first seemed very critical with me about representing her but then quickly understood where I was coming from once I said that. But my intention was to apply enough pressure because I wasn't going to let this slide with another excuse or customer service like appeasement gesture of "understanding", I wasn't going to be brushed aside...not after everything that's happened so far to lead up to this point, if they had done their job then I wouldn't have been there in the first place and If I hadn't even then, who know's when this would have been completely fixed.

 

I really don't think this woman was ever confronted in this way, I'm sure a lot of men wouldn't have been upset with her based on her looks and instead have been a little "extra" kind or forgiving and buckle quickly at any excuse coming out of her mouth, pretending she was right and that they understood even though they wouldn't be completely satisfied her answers because they were weak arguments, but even intimidated because of how she looked, but in that moment I didn't care how pretty her little face was as she stared at me like a cat in headlights with those pretty brown eyes, I had a purpose and was pissed.

 

She eventually just agreed that this was inappropriate and it should be taken care of immediately which should have been the first thing out of her mouth if she had informed herself before hand as I had informed her I would be coming to talk about this before hand, so anyway she fixed her up that day at a reduced price (If you're not from the states dental work can be quite expensive). I felt a little bad on one hand because she had done very good work for me at a reasonable price and I was a bit disappointment and flustered that it had to come to that, and pondered why my friend wasn't receiving the same treatment as I had recommended her, but it wasn't right at the end of the day and I definitely didn't pull any punches with her because of her beauty...I wasn't completely irate or out of control emotionally, that's not my way of doing things, but she knew I was dead serious and I was fighting the good fight, not being ridiculously demanding or absurd...I think if anything she was just unaware of what was going on as well as everyone else did and was caught a little bit off guard. I feel a little badly about what happened that day, but on the same hand you don't wrong the people I care about and get away with it if i can do something about it.

[todreaminblue]

Working in Los Angeles you run into a lot of good looking people, in a lot of professions you likely normally wouldn't necessarily see really good looking people in.

 

But I think at least for me living here, you kind of become accustomed to it...sure men still pine over attractive women and treat them a little "special", especially married men with younger hotter women in the work place who at times act like dogs making a break for it out of the front gate because you accidentally left the gate unlocked..but I think the "glow" is less significant here and people are a bit more conditioned to it..not that men aren't going to be interested in women here any less than anywhere else...I think the dynamic at least here is attractive people generally get more leniency and better perks, they have a little more leeway in screwing up and mouthing off, that's no real shocker here if not common and accepted knowledge, you see people using their looks to get ahead all of the time or at least trying to...especially if it's an attractive woman in question with a male boss.

 

As far as how I personally treat them, I may be affected by a woman's beauty but I sure as well wouldn't ever let her know it at least not right off the bat. I do once in a while get that gut-wrenching "good god, that woman is absolutely stunning" but I've got to maintain my composure, I don't want her to know she's got the best of me in that regard call it pride or decency, last thing I want to do is join the rabble of men grumbling at her feet offering her tokens of affections in words or gifts/special treatment, regardless of whether it gets me anywhere or not. So after that initial "shock" I'll mellow down and get a hold of myself and conduct myself as I would normally conduct myself, although I may have been a little rattled initially. In the work place I hold a very professional and stoic like demeanor because I have my priorities, It's business more than pleasure for sure, my paycheck is more important to me than the beauty radiating from someones face as I'm not there to pick-up women but get ahead and a solid reputation. So that emotion takes precedence over my attraction and I don't want a philanderer or flirty title in the work place that's for sure, I'd rather have respect.

 

There was one occasion with my dentist; who happens to be very attractive woman, that you wouldn't ever think was a dentist seeing her walk out of her office in her heels and snazzy business suit...but was also doing dental work for a friend of mine. But my friend was having a difficult time receiving treatment for an aching tooth that they were working on the crown for...she was in a lot of pain, and she went back a number of times and they kept failing each time and were making excuses and delaying her, it seemed like she was getting nowhere after I think even a month and a handful of visits, having to take time from work each time, and in pain enough to cause tears, which in my book is absolute ridiculousness.

 

Well I was pretty furious at the treatment process and how they were handling it, and if there is one thing that pisses me off it's incompetence and neglect. So I dragged the dentist and her head secretary/nurse/dental assistant or whoever she was who had been at least somehow in charge/knowledgeable of all this into a small little room and I unloaded a firestorm of criticism and disappointment...my friend, is afraid of confrontation and to voice her real feelings and demand any kind of proper treatment out of fear of causing too many waves, she wouldn't be able to engage them like this herself so I channeled her frustration through me. The room was quiet and I could see the hairs standing on the back of the dentist's neck in shock, although I was not screaming, I've got a deep voice and I was stern and was sure to be heard very clearly...she tried make arguments here and there but I had a rebuttal for everything that came out of her mouth. In the objective truth I was completely justified and had appropriate expectations, my friend was even in tears and even her colleagues were nodding their head in agreement because you could tell that they were completely understanding and knew we had all the right in the world to be upset about this...the dentist was trying to remain composed but I know she felt attacked and even questioned me on why I was doing this and not my friend in which I had to remind her that not all people are comfortable with confrontation and voicing their discontent in which she at first seemed very critical with me about representing her but then quickly understood where I was coming from once I said that. But my intention was to apply enough pressure because I wasn't going to let this slide with another excuse or customer service like appeasement gesture of "understanding", I wasn't going to be brushed aside...not after everything that's happened so far to lead up to this point, if they had done their job then I wouldn't have been there in the first place and If I hadn't even then, who know's when this would have been completely fixed.

 

I really don't think this woman was ever confronted in this way, I'm sure a lot of men wouldn't have been upset with her based on her looks and instead have been a little "extra" kind or forgiving and buckle quickly at any excuse coming out of her mouth, pretending she was right and that they understood even though they wouldn't be completely satisfied her answers because they were weak arguments, but even intimidated because of how she looked, but in that moment I didn't care how pretty her little face was as she stared at me like a cat in headlights with those pretty brown eyes, I had a purpose and was pissed.

 

She eventually just agreed that this was inappropriate and it should be taken care of immediately which should have been the first thing out of her mouth if she had informed herself before hand as I had informed her I would be coming to talk about this before hand, so anyway she fixed her up that day at a reduced price (If you're not from the states dental work can be quite expensive). I felt a little bad on one hand because she had done very good work for me at a reasonable price and I was a bit disappointment and flustered that it had to come to that, and pondered why my friend wasn't receiving the same treatment as I had recommended her, but it wasn't right at the end of the day and I definitely didn't pull any punches with her because of her beauty...I wasn't completely irate or out of control emotionally, that's not my way of doing things, but she knew I was dead serious and I was fighting the good fight, not being ridiculously demanding or absurd...I think if anything she was just unaware of what was going on as well as everyone else did and was caught a little bit off guard. I feel a little badly about what happened that day, but on the same hand you don't wrong the people I care about and get away with it if i can do something about it.

 

 

A friend in need ninja is a friend in deed....and you were a friend in deed....nice guy.....perfect friend to someone in pain.....you are awesome...smilin...standing up for friends is a soldiers delight,no matter your looks, how tall how small how pretty, pick on a friend you have an army to fight, code of conduct is for when its right, some just need to be shown the light.

good looking or not character counts

[nofeelings22]

I get the total opposite reaction from women here in wonderful Ohio. I take women on a date, and as I said before I talk to them, and try to truly get to know them. And what do I get for taking the intellectual approach… I get told "you never even showed any interest in me". So of course I asked what that meant… Women told me that I wasn't touchy-feely with them and noticed that I didn't spend a lot of time looking at their body. I guess looking a woman in the eye when I'm talking to her instead of looking at her chest is a bad thing.

 

 

Girls never say what they want.

 

You are going about this from a man's perspective. You can't just try one or the other.

 

You need a balance of both. And I'm usually too far into the "treat them like human beings and not sex objects" side of things, so I know where you are coming from there.

 

It's not reasy and every girl is different. You can't have a strategy. You have to carefully feel out the individual girl to get the right mix.

 

Also, not every girl is a female Einstein, so I find it's best to talk about subjects at their level. I have a Masters in Physics, minor in CS. I worked at NASA forba bit. I could talk physics with a girl who has only graduaed high school, but that would make her dislike me. Instead, I feel her out and talk about things she is interested in. Her family, friends, fun suff she does, her hair, current events, etc. I ask her questions. Take a genuine interest and enjoy the interaction.

 

And make your dates fun and interesting. Never take girls to dinner or a movie. You can't get to know each other at a movie and dinner as a first date is like you're at a damn job interview. Go do something fun instead. Then eat if you're both hungry. And...a little trick of mine to make eating less like an interview: Sit on the same side of the table.Nobody feels like they are under interrogation when you both sit on the same side.

 

I don't know... just trying to be helpful. You are saying you are having no luck. Putting myself in a category, i can say I'm an old, bald, 5'10" guy. lol But I have several girls to choose from. It's not all looks. You can do it as well as anyone. Just don't view women as different. They are people with similar wants and desires to your own. Just a little bit juiced up on the old estrogen.

[Imported]

People assume stuff all the time no matter what you look like. Good stuff and bad stuff.

 

 

 

 

I've felt this nervousness and intimidation around really hot guys, but it never lasts. After a couple weeks, the sheen wears off and I feel more on equal terms.

 

That's why you gotta move fast. When I swim, some strokes I create my own wave. It helps me go faster easier, except I gotta keep up with the wave. In one sense, I am just riding the wave, but in reality, I created the wave. Is your mind blown? Because I am totally confused now. Anyway, depends on what you want.I sometimes slow everything down a lot and see what happens.