JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 have dated 5 months. broke up 10 days ago. never had fights. I was under much stress this month and snapped at her a few times. she broke up with me 6 weeks before my deadlines which were stressing me out, now Im really finding it hard to complete this work, which is very important to my career. I freaked out, called her crying that night, saying she could have waited just 6 weeks. that I was going to fail. that doesnt work. her reasons for the break...I've become moody, needy, and she does'nt think we have what it takes, says she loves me. I didnt follow the NC
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 have dated 5 months. broke up 10 days ago. never had fights. I was under much stress this month and snapped at her a few times. she broke up with me 6 weeks before my deadlines which were stressing me out, now Im really finding it hard to complete this work, which is very important to my career. I freaked out, called her crying that night, saying she could have waited just 6 weeks. that I was going to fail... that doesnt work, but it might be true. her reasons for the break...I've become moody, needy, and she does'nt think we have what it takes, says she loves me. I didnt follow the NC rule, I explained things through text, how I couldnt handle a relationship right now. we talked 30 min on phone friday night, but not about us, just about work and stuff, both of us had an upbeat attitude, dont know if she really misses me, but wants me to text her. she has'nt initiated the calls. tomorrow is v day. I got her a card, nothing mushy, just funny. Im playing it cool, but its killing me inside. should I send the card?
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 Why would you want to send her a card? What are you hoping it will accomplish?
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 I made the mistakes last month, not her. I told her why she broke up with me through text, which she reads, not sure of her motives though. After I took all the blame, Im suprised her head fit through the door at work, the next day. But, I have been moody and needy for the last 6 weeks. Told her Im not ready for relationship now. got to work on me for a while. so Im playing it cool. we talked 30 min friday, but not about us. sending the card says, I dont have to follow the rules, Im ok, and just sending it like I send any friend a card.
upsetnhurt Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 You are not her Valentine anymore. She needs to feel what it is like without you. Who cares if you made mistakes. She has seen the good and bad from you and has to be the to make the first move. Don't do it!
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 but I dont think she's doing anything for me, really want to call her, really hard not to. I think she's either testing me right now, seeing if I can get along without her, I dont know what to do. basically i messed up, but when is enough a enough trying on my part.
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 yes, your right, she has to make the first move, but cant I still act like I dont care my talking to her. If I start NC with her, do I need to let her know my intentions?
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 im sure of one thing...she did'nt want to break up, happened after i spoke about just being friend for a little while, within 15 sec she broke up,I was cool that night, stayed with her in bed, she clung to me all night, then I fell apart the next day, I very sad.
UCFKevin Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 You and she are over, right? So you have nothing to lose, right? Do it.
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 see, thats what i think, everything else is just playing games and letting it get to you. you have to be cool, right?
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 crap, just put on my shoes, want to go by and talk....not beg or anything.... dont worry I havent been stalking her, and shes not afraid of me, just gave back her key to her sister yesterday, was my idea, not hers. just going over because I think we should define tomorrow like 2 adults, and be cool with it, suprises arent good.
UCFKevin Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 dont worry I havent been stalking her, and shes not afraid of me Uhh...that's not a good disclaimer...
Author JRUNNER Posted February 14, 2005 Author Posted February 14, 2005 because wanting to go by and doing it are 2 different things, we all want that contact, want them to call, want to call. just trying to say this first week has been REALLY hard, cant concentrate on work projects, I admitted my mistakes to her, thats all i can do, nows the hard part. not calling. decided to not send the card, because however i rationalize its ok to send the card, it all boils down to wanting contact with her and not letting go. my advice to anyone is this, when they break up with you, and you feel its something you did, apologize once, maybe twice a few days later, then do the NC. leave it in their court. I came so close to calling tonight and asking to come by, stopped by a friends house instead just to see their new baby and left the phone at home, that saved me. my last question is this. she's probably going to call this week to let me know if we're going to try to be back together, but honestly I THINK I blew it that first day after the breakup, by sending text of Im sorry and the freaking crying on the phone when she called. yes, i was drunk, so best not to drink. I been through breakups before, this is the first time I showed these emotions to the other person, and believe me, you loose all your dignity when you wake up the next morning. my work projects are due in march, Im seriously thinking of shutting off the phone, because if I hear the no, we're through, its going to crap my ego. If I turn off the phone then at least I can concentrate on the projects, or I could just ask her not to contact me in any way for 7 weeks, that I need that time, or just take the rejection, but the grieving and loss will cost me another productive week of work, which will do a hell of a lot to my career. damn she picked a bad time. or I could just tell her, Look I screwed up, but it wasnt that bad, you knew that I have to have this stuff in march, and I dont want your decision, because someone who really cared, would not be doing this at this time, whats 6 weeks, when theres no fights or abuse in the relationship, just because I became needy, so what she was needy the first 3 months. anyone have advice?
upsetnhurt Posted February 14, 2005 Posted February 14, 2005 JRunner, I'm confused now. What exactly would you like from her? I get from your last text that you would like her to act like your girlfriend for the next six weeks and then make a decision about the both of you. What would that include, intimacy? You can't dictate timing in breakups, they just happen. Your character as a person will show now with how you handle this disappointment and make good on these projects. Show her that you can be a success with or without her..........
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