LLQ1986 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 NOTE: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG STORY...but bear with me if you can. We met on tinder while we were both traveling. We spent the whole day together in a foreign city; had hours of talk about our trips, lives and etc. And he invited me to go to night market with 2 of his cousins. And we added each other on fb & instagram (he asked to look him up) I flew back to my country the next day. And we never stopped texting each other since then despite the time zone difference (he's in the states while I'm in Asia). He would send me photos and videos of himself, city, house, places he went to and even a video with his dad! He told me he loves talking to me, he even told his brother I'm a very cool and interesting person and I feel the same way about him too. We never talked about love, but we did tell each other we missed each other occasionally. He would sometimes send me his selfie and asked to send him mine as well. He did ask about my past relationships on our first 'date', I told him later I got dumped because there's this 3rd party... and the breakup sent me to hell for weeks. He told me he could relate to the pain and misery, I then asked if he got cheated on as well, he told me he just didn't want to remember that; too much pain. I never touched on that topic ever again. He likes asking me a lot of questions (always sounded very keen to know more about me and my life), but whenever I ask about his, his answers are usually short and non-elaborate...so one day I confronted him on this issue by asking him to open up. He then told me he's had a dark past- doing drugs, always drunk, bad relationship with the parents bla bla, probably also breakup with the ex gf. But those days are gone, and that if he didn't break up with the ex gf, we wouldn't have met- he said. He asked to travel with me; he's gonna fly to my country and we'll go travel together sometime around Sep this year. AND possibly an Europe trip next year. He told me I'm too good for him... I'm this 'good girl' who doesn't drink or party much while he's done all the bad things I can possibly think of in the past lol SO, after 2 weeks of non-stop talking (texting to be exact), he's gone for traveling with friends (all guys i think). He told me he's still gonna talk to me whenever he can. But a week has passed, as expected, we didn't talk much, but he would still left me msges and sent me a bunch of photos and videos. But he just didn't talk much... like yesterday all I got was a 'morning!' msg and I replied hours later (morning my time) saying 'what's up'... he read but never said anything else...but then he's sent me photos and vids on snapchat. And I found out that he 'liked' my moment (photo) posted on tinder... which means he's still active on tinder. I'm wondering if he's still gonna be actively talking to me after his trip. I actually quite like him... and I would love to travel with him. What do you guys think? Does he genuinely think I'm just a 'cool & interesting' girl to talk to? Oh, he's also mentioned on many occasions that I'm a smart girl... gah.
PegNosePete Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 It is my experience that when someone says you're too good for them, they are usually RIGHT. He is telling you, plain and straightforward, that he is going to treat you like crap. A good basis for a relationship? I think not. 5
kaylan Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 When someone says youre to good for them, while there may be some truth to that, the reality is that you arent who they see themselves with long term. In other words, they feel they can do better and find a better fit. And based on the sounds of it, you should let him find that risky party girl hes looking for. Youll ignore me though since I know some girls like the idea of taming a guy with a dark past. My honest assessment is that youre the "almost good enough" girl. When a guy sees a girl this way, he will have sex with her, talk to her about things, spend time together, and have fun doing couple-type things, but he wont commit to her. If a girl was good enough to be a guys girlfriend, he wouldn't risk her staying on the market long enough to lose her, and he definitely wouldnt tell her shes too good for him. 3
Emilia Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 He told me I'm too good for him... I'm this 'good girl' who doesn't drink or party much while he's done all the bad things I can possibly think of in the past lol He politely let you down. There are two types of guys, those that like good girls and those that like bad girls. He is the latter. 6
kaylan Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Also, OP. Realize that a lot of guys use Tinder as a way to get travel hookups while abroad. Considering your distance, and his contact slowing up...realize that he's likely seeing other women, and theres a great chance that youre just the girl he will have fun times with when you happen to be in the same area. Stay in touch, but dont get your hopes up. Maybe someone great comes of it...but dont be outcome oriented. Enjoy things for what they are, and keep dating other men for now. He politely let you down. There are two types of guys, those that like good girls and those that like bad girls. He is the latter. Or guys like me who enjoy a little mix of the two 3
Author LLQ1986 Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 When someone says youre to good for them, while there may be some truth to that, the reality is that you arent who they see themselves with long term. In other words, they feel they can do better and find a better fit. And based on the sounds of it, you should let him find that risky party girl hes looking for. Youll ignore me though since I know some girls like the idea of taming a guy with a dark past. My honest assessment is that youre the "almost good enough" girl. When a guy sees a girl this way, he will have sex with her, talk to her about things, spend time together, and have fun doing couple-type things, but he wont commit to her. If a girl was good enough to be a guys girlfriend, he wouldn't risk her staying on the market long enough to lose her, and he definitely wouldnt tell her shes too good for him. So are you suggesting that I should avoid contacting him even if i wanted to? I really love talking to him and so I don't think i can resist replying his msges when he does
Author LLQ1986 Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Also, OP. Realize that a lot of guys use Tinder as a way to get travel hookups while abroad. Considering your distance, and his contact slowing up...realize that he's likely seeing other women, and theres a great chance that youre just the girl he will have fun times with when you happen to be in the same area. Stay in touch, but dont get your hopes up. Maybe someone great comes of it...but dont be outcome oriented. Enjoy things for what they are, and keep dating other men for now. Or guys like me who enjoy a little mix of the two Guilty- I'm still on tinder too hahahaha :laugh:
todreaminblue Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 (edited) Part of me has done a lot for that reason i often have concerns about guys who i believe are too good for the likes of me and someone like me and the past i have, the fact is i really do deserve a good guy (had to correct it to good from god guy yes i am christian lol), i always was a good girl,selfless but also abused neglected abandoned thrown to the wolves and i did what i did to survive and got abused more torn apart and i paid double always for everything.because i felt pain when i caused pain the others pain i felt it as well, as my own made me a mess to be sure......the worst pain to feel is a hearts unrequited desires, familial pain adn the pain fo people you care about. if you feel that pain then you deserve a good guy you don't need to pay double and suffer on with a bad guy because you don't feel good enough, a good guy will always make you feel cherished....help the bad guy to see some light and let him go, you only appreciate light when it gets dark outside and you can not see ahead. stay with the good guy he would help if needed that is what you deserve to feel everyone does.......nice guys may finish last because they always end up with the girl who would stay by their side ,because in all honesty good people dont judge others by a past...people with pasts are broken and often torn asunder ...its enough..you done the crime paid the time ...now its time for you to feel good too.. tell your bad guy turned good guy that and hope he hears you...eplace where i have written him with her,...replace good guy with good girl such as yourself. say you deserve me because.....smilin atcha............deb Edited June 10, 2014 by todreaminblue
Emilia Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Or guys like me who enjoy a little mix of the two Yeah, it's not black and white but you know what I mean. They usually like the scales to tip in one direction or the other. Of course the definition of 'bad' can be different. 'Good' I think is more universal.
Andy_K Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 You are a travel hookup. He tells you that you're too good for him because he knows full well that's all you really are to him, whilst he can tell that you feel a deeper connection. 'You're too good for me' means 'you have emotions tied up in this that I simply don't. And you're gonna get hurt. I am warning you in advance so I can have my way with you with a clear conscience' 3
todreaminblue Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 You are a travel hookup. He tells you that you're too good for him because he knows full well that's all you really are to him, whilst he can tell that you feel a deeper connection. 'You're too good for me' means 'you have emotions tied up in this that I simply don't. And you're gonna get hurt. I am warning you in advance so I can have my way with you with a clear conscience' that may be true is some cases not in all cases and considering you dont know this guy you really dont know the case it is a perspective though,that could possibly maybe not quite sure or certain of,or to which reasonable doubt could say, a chance of rain tomorrow or have have validity without reading a weather report first which we all love to trust without umbrellas on cloudy days with the smell of rain in the air. i think she needs to find out from the guy in question or pray hard or both combined.....those weather reporters are just sooooo good lookin' how can we not trust them, besides they make some really huge mistake.....they are so good lookin they talk a good game too, must be right they google their chances everyday and go yep today im right my stars said so too...whose to know but the guy and the girl involved...........
ExpatInItaly Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I wouldn't expect much of him, to be honest. He told you you're too good - listen to that. His past may not be entirely in his past; his history with drugs and alcohol suggests an impulsive character which may still very much be part of who he is today. My experience has been when a guy suggests you're too good for him, he's right. Sooner to later you'll likely get hurt. You don't necessarily need to stop communicating with him, but I wouldn't get my hopes up either. 1
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 When someone tells you that you're too good for them, believe it. 4
Author LLQ1986 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 You are a travel hookup. He tells you that you're too good for him because he knows full well that's all you really are to him, whilst he can tell that you feel a deeper connection. 'You're too good for me' means 'you have emotions tied up in this that I simply don't. And you're gonna get hurt. I am warning you in advance so I can have my way with you with a clear conscience' Your words hit home. I'm gonna go NC for now- not that difficult since he hasn't texted for a couple of days.
Recommended Posts