BeholdtheMan Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Hello all, I 've been lurking this forum for quite sometime so I figured it's time I asked for advice,but Idk if this is the right place to post this.So moving on... To clarify I'm a female and I'm going to be 24 next month,and I am still a virgin which is something I am content with until I'm in an actual relationship with someone who is worth it. But my excuse for this is that I was in a relationship for 4 years and it was Long Distance,but we almost made it to that point of the relationship that is...until he the left me for someone else -BUT I'm not going to get into that .Anyway I've moved on since and I plan to try dating in the future,but I'm worried that this will be a problem since I've heard many stories about guys high tailing it when they find out you're a virgin. So my question is,is this going to be a problem? Being physically unattractive is a problem. If you're physically attractive and a virgin, that's a huge plus for most guys. If you're homely or plain and a virgin...well, it's still not that bad because you are a woman and guys don't really get turned on by the thought of a woman being a total player [playette?] and getting boned by dozens of guys. It would matter much more if you're a dude...but even then, as long as you don't advertise, you should be OK
lino Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Are men viewed any differently? Just curious... Ask any man who is involuntarily a virgin how he's doing with the ladies. Hint: The answer is in the question. 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Thanks for the laugh of the day. Why is this so laughable?
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Being physically unattractive is a problem. If you're physically attractive and a virgin, that's a huge plus for most guys. If you're homely or plain and a virgin...well, it's still not that bad because you are a woman and guys don't really get turned on by the thought of a woman being a total player [playette?] and getting boned by dozens of guys. It would matter much more if you're a dude...but even then, as long as you don't advertise, you should be OK Advertise? She shouldn't feel embarrassed! She shouldn't feel like it's something to hide.
scooby-philly Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 @Nightrain thanks for disclosing more without getting into details that would "give you up". What you say makes sense - it does seem like you did the right thing. In terms of your own future - first off - have no regrets. We do the best we can with what we have - skills, experience, perspective, courage, at any given time. I've found the beauty of life is that I can be myself and good things will come to me - I can pursue my passions and dreams (not day-dreams - which used to be an issue for me) and can push myself into situations that I would have avoided in the past because I felt "out of place" or unworthy. No one is perfect, and we all have blinders on at times. Secondly, don't just "wait". I learned the hard way that you can try and be the "nice" person, the "good friend" and still get hurt and burned. That doesn't mean change who you are, but you can go off and do your own thing and family/friends that really love you will either come along or at least be supportive if what you chose isn't their cup of tea. The rest, no matter how bad it makes you feel, need to be left behind. And yes, the right guy will understand, if he doesn't, he wasn't the right guy. Remember, if you don't put a huge "weight" on it - no one else will either. No one can read your mind and no one knows your own internal struggles. So keep moving forward. If you haven't seen it yet, there's a commencement speech from May going viral from Jim Carey of all people. I don't want to ruin anything, suffice to say that while it doesn't apply directly in your particular situation, I think the basic concept does - you can't live in fear and can't let anxiety and worry rule us. We fumble the first time we try something, so get over it. 1
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