Cnyforever Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I know he cheated. I have almost certain proof that he has at least been searching for someone to sleep with. We haven't been together that long and no kids. I don't need him to support me. But I desperately want to know the truth. Why does it seem to matter so much to me? He tells me how much he loves me, I am the only woman for him, yet I know he is lying. Why? I really don't get it. On both our parts. He continued denials despite the proof I have given him, seriously tried to tell me someone was setting him up and using his pictures. And myself why do I want him to say the words so badly? I know the truth and yet I still am able at times to justify or deny the reality I know is true. It hurts to much to continue with him but I still want and desire him so desperately that I continually am making justifications for his actions. How do I stop. Will he ever admit the truth?
Spectre Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 You say you have almost certain proof, what does that even mean? Either you are certain or not, if you aren't 100% sure..then get 100% proof and confront him. If he still denies it then just leave. Maybe to him saying it out loud makes it more real, maybe he thinks if he doesn't say it out loud it makes him less of a crappy person(he's wrong). As for why you care, I don't think it is a big mystery. If you love him of course you want to be 100% sure you are correct.
beach Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I know he cheated. I have almost certain proof that he has at least been searching for someone to sleep with. We haven't been together that long and no kids. I don't need him to support me. But I desperately want to know the truth. Why does it seem to matter so much to me? He tells me how much he loves me, I am the only woman for him, yet I know he is lying. Why? I really don't get it. On both our parts. He continued denials despite the proof I have given him, seriously tried to tell me someone was setting him up and using his pictures. And myself why do I want him to say the words so badly? I know the truth and yet I still am able at times to justify or deny the reality I know is true. It hurts to much to continue with him but I still want and desire him so desperately that I continually am making justifications for his actions. How do I stop. Will he ever admit the truth? Some never admit it even when solid evidence is presented. Can you tell us what makes you think he's cheated?
TiredFamilyGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 People are bundles of contradictions. Our desires are not aligned with each other, with our needs, with what is right. Or another way to put it, your partner can put himself on a hookup website and can profess love to you. Unless he thinks about it too hard or gets caught out and goes into damage control mode. Then, it turns into rotten deceit. You don't want the kind of relationship where he lies to you. So get over him and move on. Not easy to do, but take the first step and the rest will follow. First be sure of your proof - you seemed a bit hazy on exactly how you came to know, and what you know, and why you think it must be him. Details please.
Author Cnyforever Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 I found him on a dating website with pictures from during our time together, I emailed him from a fake profile and he responded with his private email address. He tried to tell me when I showed him this proof that it wasn't him, someone was using his pictures and email address. Why? I asked over and over it doesn't make sense. I have seriously began to question myself when we talk about it. When I step away from him I'm aware that none of that makes sense. Why would someone else use his pics and address. I guess I should have set up a date but really it didn't seem necessary. Yet now I question myself. If shown the proof why continue to deny?
Cr8tivePassion Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 If you have proof and it sounds like you do, you should leave. Before you potentially have children you should reconsider this relationship. There are people out there that are committed to loyalty. I wouldn't investigate further and set yourself up for more disappointment. It's never easy, but if the relationship is new then chances are it will not get better.
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