PhillyConnection23 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 So I unfriended my ex on Facebook almost immediately after she broke up with. Its been two months since then. I'm still friends with her family and other people I met through her but that is about it. I also seem to obsess over checking her page just to see if she changed her profile picture. Besides that I'm doing well. Haven't reached out to her in nearly two months and started dating blah blah. I'm mostly saying this to prevent people from going "why aren't you NC." Anyway. Last weekend I decided to change my profile picture and part of me was thinking she will see that and decide to change her's. Well, almost a day later she changed her cover photo. Two days after that I again changed my profile picture, she 'adjusts' her cover photo. Now I realize I'm reading far too much into this. I also realize I shouldn't be obsessing over minute things like this. However, the very idea that she could be playing a tit for tat game with me via Facebook is letting my mind wander. Its not driving me nuts but I keep thinking "she still cares..."
Simon Phoenix Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Yep, you are overthinking. And situations like yours are why a full No Contact (meaning no social media checking up of any kind) is advised. You are twisting your brain into a pretzel about something that's inconsequential. If she wants to "communicate" with you, she'll make her attempts a lot more obvious. You really need to implement a full NC for your own sanity.
Author PhillyConnection23 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 2 1/2 months post break up...haven't spoke in just under two months. We were supposed to go on a vacation this weekend and part of me thought she would reach out to see how I was doing but that didn't happen. Flash forward to today, I get back from a weekend camping trip I get a message from my friend: "Hey have you heard from XXX? She deleted all of us (my friends) from Facebook." I'm not really sure how or why my friend noticed it but he did. Alas, at some point over the weekend my ex went through and purged her friend's list of all of my friends that she knew. I'm not really sure what to think about it. On one hand I only delete the people I find to be incredibly annoying or at least make sure I hide their updates from my feed. On the other hand everyone that advocates for NC says to delete anything that or anyone that reminds you of your ex to move on. I was in a really good spot today (still miss her) but was feeling good. This just makes me feel weird. I think I'm going to go running for a while and clear my head.
FortunateSon Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I wouldn't read too much into it, even though it will certainly make you wonder. She is likely just trying to move on and remove any reminders of the relationship, especially if they were your friends. She also may have met someone and doesn't want to mix older aspects of the past with her new relationship. I deleted my ex's friends after we broke up and she finally deleted my friends when she started dating someone new.
stillafool Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Why feel weird? She's making the proper moves to go forward with her healing. Actually I think it is smart of her to delete people she knows who know you. This way she won't have to hear anything that will set her back. I am sorry that you are hurting also but it takes time.
Author PhillyConnection23 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Thanks for the feedback. I'm trying not to think too much into it but its a little telling that it happened when we were supposed to be away together. I know the break up wasn't easy for her so the thought that she is struggling as much as I am kinda makes me feel good. As for me hurting...not nearly as bad as I thought I would be. I still miss her but it doesn't consume my day. I'm living my life and doing everything I should be doing at this point in my life. I still want to be with her in the future and hopefully I will but not contacting her and (living 3 hours apart) has really helped me move on. Again, I just get a nice feeling knowing that the break up for her was just as hard as it was for me (at least I think so) and that what we shared was real....and can be in the future.
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