yucky_life Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I'm leaving my live in bf of 3 years- we've been living together with my 14 year old and our 1 year old. My 14 year old is going to live with his dad, and after that, I am planning to leave my bf with our 1 year old. I'm not going to be dating for a long time, have to work on me, so that I don't make another bad decision. I'm afraid of being alone. What will it be like? How do I distract myself from doing something counter productive like calling him, or drinking? I won't be doing either no matter what, but what to do instead? I don't really have close friends or family right now. Also afraid of someone breaking in (even possibly my ex- to hurt me for leaving). It's going to be so hard, but I have to get away from his abuse.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 There are millions of ways to entertain yourself both in and outside the home. Depending on the kind of person you are Hobbies. Can you paint, draw, sketch? Poorly pencil an awkward shaped bowel of fruit? Do it. Get some art supplies and have at it. If you can't, maybe learn to do so? It's both soothing and distracting and as far as hobbies go, it's something the cost little money but can take up a lot of free time. Take some kickboxing or self defense classes. Not only would this be excellent source of exercise, it's very empowering get stronger and finally feel as if you can defend yourself. You say you have an abusive STBX and I understand you feel genuine fear of him but as I said, feeling confident in your ability to defend yourself goes a looooong way to diminishing those fears. Read books. Find a genre or series that piques your interest and get into it. I know some people don't like reading but a good book can be your best friend. I don't know how you feel about guns but if you really feel as if he may come after you maybe look into purchasing a small handgun? If not, even taking some classes at your local shooting range is helpful. This too can be pretty empowering. Just knowing you can handle yourself around a gun. This last bit depends totally on your area but depending on where you are, I'd suggest heading over to your local PD and making them aware of your situation. In my experience - and I've had a lot of it in regards to domestic violence - cops can be very understanding.
Recommended Posts