redrahul Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 One of my friends is a girl that I have known for a few of months and I have liked her ever since I met her for the second time. She and I used to talk on a regular basis and she was the one that usually approached me, which is how I got her number. However recently, she just stopped approaching me even if it's obvious that she sees me. However, other times when she sees me, she either smiles at me or has the smile and just says "Hi" to me. Also, when we do talk (which I start it first), she only says a few words to me and it ends right there. In fact, I know her close friends much more than I know her and half of them are girls. All her friends like me as a nice friend, but not as close as with her obviously. Also, whenever I try for a hangout (e.x.: "If you want to study" or "If you want to do something"), she says pretty busy. That didn't happen before since we have hanged out earlier in semester. We also see each other wherever we go, and it's by coincidence but it's almost like we're meeting up with each other. However, this stopped a couple of weeks ago. I have also noticed that she looks at me sometimes or if she's looking past me (to other people). I don't know. She also has started to talk a lot with my friends, and she’s tries to keep conversation alive with them and anyone else she knows since she's the outgoing and loud type. I know this is the "real" her because even her neighbors (which I'm friends with as well) tell me that she and her roommate always make a lot of noise. However, it seems to be different when it’s just me and her. With us, it gets very quiet and I don't get that. Also, her friends sometimes ask me if I talked with her lately and reply with "Not really". I also found out that sometimes she does talk about me. I really don't know what this means or what I should do, or know anything. Does anyone think that she may like me back, but is waiting for me to make the first move? It's really bugging me since all of her friends do come and talk to me like anyone else, but she's doing the exact opposite. Thanks for reading and input! Also, one more important thing she may already think I like her. That’s at least what my friend told me when my friend was talking with her and she asked that question. My friend of course told her he doesn't know.(However, keep this in mind, she had already stopped talking to me before I asked her about it, which is why she might think she knows that I like her. So, please don't mention that ignoring is one of the signs because she started ignoring me even before she got wind of this!) I am over 20, never kissed anyone and never had girlfriend before.
Assasda Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 It seems like youre really friendly. Too Friendly I think she likes you but I think she's avoiding talking to you because, youre putting yourself in the friendzone, and she she doesnt want that. She is in fact doing you a favor. What you do, is stop being friendly with everyone, and go out with the girl. Stop trying to be in the social circle, and show her that you have value as a man.
Author redrahul Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 It seems like youre really friendly. Too Friendly I think she likes you but I think she's avoiding talking to you because, youre putting yourself in the friendzone, and she she doesnt want that. She is in fact doing you a favor. What you do, is stop being friendly with everyone, and go out with the girl. Stop trying to be in the social circle, and show her that you have value as a man. Well I certainly don't want to be in the "friendzone" with her. She makes me feel better about myself when I'm around her and I have had feelings about other girls before I met her, but they were never this strong. It's true that I'm friendly to everyone, but the trouble is that in the past, when I told girls that I have liked them, they told me they don't feel the same and as result they stopped talking to me altogether. Now, with this girl, she has influenced me more than any other girl I have ever met. I just don't want her to stop talking to me altogether. If that happens, I really don't know what would happen. Yes, she's that important to me. Also, how do I value myself as a man? I'm not understanding that.
germain Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 (edited) If you are out of grade school, you don't tell girls you like them anymore. You have to show it by asking them out, flirting with them, kissing them... It seems like you've asked her out and she has said no each time? That usually tells me to move on. Also when you guys talk and she doesn't really expand or continue the conversation and leaves, that usually tells me to move on as well. The only way you'll know what's up is if you ask her out on a date - some fun activity you both can enjoy - and do the things I said: flirt and kiss them if the flirting goes well. You already know her, so this should be easy to pick out. It's worth a shot, but I wouldn't keep trying if she won't accept or agree to an alternative time. You are dangerously close to the friendzone if not there already. You have to "man up", be assertive, and ask her out somewhere. Otherwise she just won't find you attractive as a potential mate. Edited June 9, 2014 by germain 2
Author redrahul Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 If you are out of grade school, you don't tell girls you like them anymore. You have to show it by asking them out, flirting with them, kissing them... It seems like you've asked her out and she has said no each time? That usually tells me to move on. Also when you guys talk and she doesn't really expand or continue the conversation and leaves, that usually tells me to move on as well. The only way you'll know what's up is if you ask her out on a date - some fun activity you both can enjoy - and do the things I said: flirt and kiss them if the flirting goes well. You already know her, so this should be easy to pick out. It's worth a shot, but I wouldn't keep trying if she won't accept or agree to an alternative time. You are dangerously close to the friendzone if not there already. You have to "man up", be assertive, and ask her out somewhere. Otherwise she just won't find you attractive as a potential mate. Well if I'm dangerously close to the "friend zone", then how do I get away from that? Also, I'm not that good with flirting. I mean I haven't actually flirted with a girl before. Usually, when girls see me, they see me as a good friend. Someone that they know they can come to for help or anything like that. Also, if she wasn't interested in me, then I keep wondering why her friends keep asking me something about her when they can ask her themselves. Another thing is that I haven't actually asked her for a date. Also, I did ask her the first time if she wanted to study together and she did say "Yes". Finally, we're just started vacation now and I won't be seeing her for about a month even though I have all of her contact info. Also, like my previous post, if I do mention that I "like" her, I don't want her to stop talking to me. Any insight?
Assasda Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Germain in his post clearly said to cut out the "I like you" gabage. This isnt grade school. Girls have enough friends, so I dont know why you'd want to be friends with any of them. You get to hear their problems, solve their problems, sounds sad and pathetic. I mean, there's no harm in being friendly with girls, but your friendship is getting in the way of your romantic interests. Its also really sad that you dont know your value as a man. -I'll put it bluntly, Your value as a man, is that you have a penis, and she has a vagina, and girls like sex, whether you know that or not. Also, if she doesnt want a romantic relationship with you, I see no reason why you should hang around with her like some puppy dog. Also, work on your self esteem
ThorntonMelon Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Gonna go gentle here. First, the bolded stuff isn't as significant as you think. Second, she's not giving you mixed signals. She's being very clear she's not interested. There's no reason you need to read into her friends, who knows why they do what they do. If she was interested, you'd know. Lastly, why are you so obsessed with a girl who doesn't even seem very nice to you and desiring her to talk to you? You're projecting things onto her. Anyways, your chances are ZERO with her (I'd bold it if I wanted to) and a girl who wants your attention is around the corner.
Author redrahul Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Germain in his post clearly said to cut out the "I like you" gabage. This isnt grade school. Girls have enough friends, so I dont know why you'd want to be friends with any of them. You get to hear their problems, solve their problems, sounds sad and pathetic. I mean, there's no harm in being friendly with girls, but your friendship is getting in the way of your romantic interests. Its also really sad that you dont know your value as a man. -I'll put it bluntly, Your value as a man, is that you have a penis, and she has a vagina, and girls like sex, whether you know that or not. Also, if she doesnt want a romantic relationship with you, I see no reason why you should hang around with her like some puppy dog. Also, work on your self esteem I never said she doesn't want a romantic relationship. It's just that I don't know what she wants and we have never talked about dating or relationship before because neither of us has brought it up beforehand. When I saw her every place that I went to beforehand, I kept asking myself "Why is she always there?". In fact, she's the only person that I saw more of than anyone else in this school (which includes my roommate). Also, this isn't the first time I have been friends with girls. I have always been friends with them. However, it's true that it could be blocking our romance from coming out in the open. I don't know what to do to change that. I also tried everything to get her to show that I'm interested in her. I have: - touched her on the shoulder many, many times for more than a few seconds (she doesn't back away) - pretend that I don't know something just so that she could explain it to me - our faces have been close (not close enough for kissing, but close) - I see her looking at me several times and vice versa. I'm guessing that if she didn't back away, it could mean something. Also, if it did mean something, then why has she turned down number of times for a get together? Is it because she wants me to officially ask her for a date? Also, when I do talk to her, she replies in a shy, quiet voice unlike other people (including my friends) with whom she gets loud and bit obnoxious (which I do like about her). Any insight on this at least?
Author redrahul Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 (edited) Gonna go gentle here. First, the bolded stuff isn't as significant as you think. Second, she's not giving you mixed signals. She's being very clear she's not interested. There's no reason you need to read into her friends, who knows why they do what they do. If she was interested, you'd know. Lastly, why are you so obsessed with a girl who doesn't even seem very nice to you and desiring her to talk to you? You're projecting things onto her. Anyways, your chances are ZERO with her (I'd bold it if I wanted to) and a girl who wants your attention is around the corner. Firstly, if she wasn't interested in me at all then why am I not reading into this? I mean I have been rejected before, but the signals were different. Also, how would I know when she's not being interested. It's true that she does behave different around me than from other people. However, not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. Secondly, I bring up her friends because they talk with her alot more than they talk with me. Sometimes, people actually joke about us being a couple. Now, with what these people say, I don't see anything beyond the surface, because I can clearly tell that it's a joke and these people don't know my feelings about her. Lastly, I'm not obsessed with this girl. Actually, it depends on the level of obsession. Now please don't say that meeting "accidentally" with her is a form of obsession. I mean it could be, but these run-ins with her have been accidental. It's just that they have happened so frequently that I didn't know what to do about that. I also don't remember every little thing that she does, just the things that are out of the ordinary that I notice. Also, I find that if I don't talk to her for a few days at all, not even say "Hi" to her, then she does come around and talk to me for just a little bit. Anything else I should know about? Edited June 10, 2014 by redrahul
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