anabel32 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Would you date a single mum with a mix raced child (outside of your own race) meaning that the child would look totally different to you? The reason I ask is because I have notices a significant shift in interest that I get from men since I became mum... not sure if this is relating to me being a mum, or the fact that my child looks totally different. I don't have any issues with that but just wondering what the forum thinks or experienced.
giblesp Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 If you're a racist you'd have a problem with it. If you're not you wont. 1
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I personally wouldn't date a woman with a child like that because what if the relationship worked out and the child grew up, I think it would never accept me as a father figure. It would just end up being a really awkward relationship. Maybe look for a man who is the same race as the child. You don't think a child would accept you because of the color of your skin?? Children are not born with racial prejudice. 4
Gaeta Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I personally wouldn't date a woman with a child like that because what if the relationship worked out and the child grew up, I think it would never accept me as a father figure. It would just end up being a really awkward relationship. Maybe look for a man who is the same race as the child. We are not born racist, we become racist. I have friends that are black, they were adopted as babies by white couples. They don't see a color, they see their parents, the parents see their child.How many people have adopted in China, Bangladesh, Africa. When you love you are color blind. 5
happywithlife Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I've got two friends. Both of their oldest are mixed race. Both went on to have long term relationships with men who are of the same race as the mother and look different than the child. One of the men even went on to legally adopt the child. You should be concerned about finding the right man for you and your family. If focus on dating men who are good to you and good for your family, having a mixed race child won't bother the man. 2
Gaeta Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Anabel, I have a theory but first I need to know if your child of a darker skin? 1
lollipopspot Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I personally wouldn't date a woman with a child like that because what if the relationship worked out and the child grew up, I think it would never accept me as a father figure. It would just end up being a really awkward relationship. Maybe look for a man who is the same race as the child. When people have a personal relationship, racial and other differences cease to be important determiners of the relationship. A father figure is accepted based on how fatherly they are. However, humans are by nature xenophobic - we are born that way - but it's the personal relationship that overcomes it - Baby Racists: At Our Sweetest Age, We?re Capable of Nasty Impulses - TIME 3
Wisecrack Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 What does the child have to play in this? The relationship is between me and the mother first if I did date her. And if I did and something was there, then I would love that child as if he/ she were my own. There's too much hatred in the world already to add your own prejudices to it. 4
todreaminblue Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I would have to assume in soem way you have had negativity direct at you or to you in regards to interracial relationships and the offspring produced from mixing skin colors. i have varying skin colors in my family as does the world in general, they are often mistaken as not mine, until someone actually speaks to them and knows us and see we all have the same spirit and beliefs....i once walked past this aptly named place in australia called kangaroo point and was privy to a meeting of people in sheets and funny hats.I thought they looked rather comical, they thought i looked like a race traitor.They are not my friends or are they ever what i would ever class as family. Using gods words for nastiness doesnbt seem quite right does it. it doesnt matter if people like or dont like a mixed family, all that matters is that family, that love and th espirits they share, thats gods realm and doesnt depend on the appreciation and or acceptance of another human, especially with a humans sick fancy of knowing what is right in gods eyes and what is wrong, that is their own interpretation and views that i dont hold. I have dated interracially obviously, i would now adopt any nationality any child who needed em to be there for them,even dated a spanish guy called fabricio fab for short, who i didnt understand at all but somehow we overcame language barriers, dont give yourself barriers, god doesnt like those kind of walls.Especially if they are placed there from a mash up of the bible.Mash ups are for songs not for the bible, the bible is in plain language and should be read with a heart full of love for people not skin colors or nationalities. if i find a guy who is another nationality who has a huge spirit that is similar to my families spirit and holds true to faith, ill date that guy , regardless of what others think or feel is best for me to do one heart one mind equals zion 3
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 My children are 1/4 asian and 3/4 black, ages 10-14. My guy is white. We are moving into a new house together in 2 weeks and the kids are ecstatic. They adore him. They have never mentioned a single thing about his race. They have grown up in a very diverse school system and have friends of all kinds. It is not awkward to them at all. 6
Omei Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I personally wouldn't date a woman with a child like that because what if the relationship worked out and the child grew up, I think it would never accept me as a father figure. It would just end up being a really awkward relationship. Maybe look for a man who is the same race as the child. I have a feeling you ment you would not be able to accept the child. children are much like animals as toddlers they accept and give love to parents who are motherly/fatherly they may see and ask about skin colors but they arnt racist until taught. There are many children of different race adopted into family's not of their birth race. 1
Omei Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 When he/she grew up, teenagers can be viscous and very racist. I know from experience. Then somewhere along the way someone has failed them. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I have a buddy who was seeing a black woman. She had a beautiful little girl about 4 at the time. Oh yeah, my buddy is white. The day came when she introduced her daughter to my buddy. She came over to him and gave him a hug, he picked her up and gave her one back, then they stared at each other for maybe a few seconds and the little girls said to him, "your white"................dead silence, then he said "Yeah I know. That's because when I was little, I wouldn't eat lima beans and because of that, my skin turned white". He said the look on the little girls face was priceless then she turned to her Mom and said, "Mom. Is he kidding me?" Well it broke the ice and all was well until his family found out about it and they damn near called the KKK and because of their racist attitude, they lost their son for almost 20 years. They finally put their $h!tty attitude aside and his now wife was gracious enough to forgive. Shame that people can't see past a persons skin color. 11
Omei Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I have a buddy who was seeing a black woman. She had a beautiful little girl about 4 at the time. Oh yeah, my buddy is white. The day came when she introduced her daughter to my buddy. She came over to him and gave him a hug, he picked her up and gave her one back, then they stared at each other for maybe a few seconds and the little girls said to him, "your white"................dead silence, then he said "Yeah I know. That's because when I was little, I wouldn't eat lima beans and because of that, my skin turned white". He said the look on the little girls face was priceless then she turned to her Mom and said, "Mom. Is he kidding me?" Well it broke the ice and all was well until his family found out about it and they damn near called the KKK and because of their racist attitude, they lost their son for almost 20 years. They finally put their $h!tty attitude aside and his now wife was gracious enough to forgive. Shame that people can't see past a persons skin color. What a hero of a man 1
gaius Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I know one woman who has mixed kids that I would date in a heartbeat. She's married though and from what I've seen seems to behave herself. It's not exactly the vision I had for myself but that stuff usually goes out the window when you meet someone you're really into. 2
Author anabel32 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Anabel, I have a theory but first I need to know if your child of a darker skin? Yes, I am white and my baby is mix race with Afro-Caribbean.. Thank you...
Author anabel32 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 (edited) Serious thread? Very serious... I started online dating since I can't really go out and meet people elsewhere.. I am being very honest in my profile and mentioning that my girl is mix race, so I filter by the guys for whom this is really a problem, and guess what... I really struggle to find some decent responses,although my profile has a lot of visitors. I did online dating before and never came across this issue before. I would like to believe that this was my profile, but I checked it with few of my friends and they said it was very attention catching in a good way already. I also have been told a lot that I am an attractive women. Maybe I need other form of dating, to meet someone that will get to know me first for who I am, but these sort of relationships must start somewhere, and as I said, I don't have much chance to go out and socialize. In any case, dating is not my priority.. but it got me wonder what people think or experienced. Thank you for your replies. Edited June 9, 2014 by anabel32
gaius Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 It probably does have something to do with that. Maybe you could mention you're a mom but leave the mixed race part out until you've at least had a few phone conversations? So they could get a feel for you past your meat market advertisement. It's always a risk that you might find yourself ignored anyway but there are guys out there who might find any objections they had subsiding once they get to know you a bit. It's worth a try at least. 1
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 When I was online dating, I included no information about my children except that I had them. To me, there was no point discussing my children until I had met someone and established whether or not there was potential for something more. I met 15 guys over my course of online dating. Only ONE ever met my children and he was #15. Don't screen your child to their preference. Screen THEM for your preference in the type of man you want to expose your child to. 2
kaylan Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Very serious... I started online dating since I can't really go out and meet people elsewhere.. I am being very honest in my profile and mentioning that my girl is mix race, so I filter by the guys for whom this is really a problem, and guess what... I really struggle to find some decent responses,although my profile has a lot of visitors. I did online dating before and never came across this issue before. I would like to believe that this was my profile, but I checked it with few of my friends and they said it was very attention catching in a good way already. I also have been told a lot that I am an attractive women. Maybe I need other form of dating, to meet someone that will get to know me first for who I am, but these sort of relationships must start somewhere, and as I said, I don't have much chance to go out and socialize. In any case, dating is not my priority.. but it got me wonder what people think or experienced. Thank you for your replies. You filter out a couple things. 1. Guys who dont wanna deal with single moms. 2. Prejudiced idiots who get butthurt that a woman used to date outside her race. Dont bother yourself with caring about missing out on either group. Anyways, as a 27 yr old guy with no kids, unless its for something very casual, I wouldnt date a single mom. I just like the carefree spontaneity that comes with a woman without kids. If I was ten years older, then itd bother me less. The kids race wouldnt play a part at all. 1
Author anabel32 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Thank you for great advise... has been really helpful and made me more positive about it. I am not in a rush... not at all I truly believe that the right person will come. Happy dating to all
Gaeta Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Very serious... I started online dating since I can't really go out and meet people elsewhere.. I am being very honest in my profile and mentioning that my girl is mix race, so I filter by the guys for whom this is really a problem, and guess what... I really struggle to find some decent responses,although my profile has a lot of visitors. I did online dating before and never came across this issue before. I would like to believe that this was my profile, but I checked it with few of my friends and they said it was very attention catching in a good way already. I also have been told a lot that I am an attractive women. Maybe I need other form of dating, to meet someone that will get to know me first for who I am, but these sort of relationships must start somewhere, and as I said, I don't have much chance to go out and socialize. In any case, dating is not my priority.. but it got me wonder what people think or experienced. Thank you for your replies. I would take that out of my profile. By putting it out there you are making an issue of it, it's not. You have a child, period. So here is my theory: Men don't care if your child is of mixed race, men - the white men - mind that you have been with a black man. I get the same exact rejection when I speak with a white male and somehow in the conversation comes up that my last boyfriend was black. I never hear from those white males after that OR they start calling me names, tell me that I am damaged good, no white men will want me anymore, I am a big d.ick seeker, I must like being pushed around, anyway you can imagine the kind of racist comments I got. Those men are insecure biggots, you don't want them in your life anyway. 2
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