Does anyone think the procedure to get a girl is too exhausting??

[Glinda.Good]

Get yourself around a higher class of people. I don't know anyone like that.

 

Really, I've literally never met even one! They are entertaining, though.

[serial muse]

Really, I've literally never met even one! They are entertaining, though.

 

I think I've maybe met one once. In my life. He was annoying.

 

I cannot take anyone seriously who tries to assert that Jersey Shore types are prevalent. Particularly when he admits in the same breath that he hasn't watched the show. That makes it clear that it's just a convenient boogeyman that has snuck into the general consciousness, a goofy show about a bunch of goofy people who nobody actually knows; that's why people watch them on TV. I don't know anyone like the Duck Dynasty folks either.

 

Nobody wants to watch a show about average people.

[lollipopspot]

nevermind...

[Monm82]

Care to elaborate? I've never felt like this.

 

They're expected to do most of the work. Lots of initiating.

[nofeelings22]

I think I've maybe met one once. In my life. He was annoying.

 

I cannot take anyone seriously who tries to assert that Jersey Shore types are prevalent. Particularly when he admits in the same breath that he hasn't watched the show. That makes it clear that it's just a convenient boogeyman that has snuck into the general consciousness, a goofy show about a bunch of goofy people who nobody actually knows; that's why people watch them on TV. I don't know anyone like the Duck Dynasty folks either.

 

Nobody wants to watch a show about average people.

 

 

I don't know if it's because I travel so much or are a weirdo myself, but..

 

My ex girlfriend of a few months has been the uber hot chick in 2 reality shows and... my parents have had a film crew following them for months doing a new real estate reality show.

 

You know they are running out of ideas when your mom is on one.

 

Never saw any of them because they are boring and I don't own a tv,

[normal person]

They're expected to do most of the work. Lots of initiating.

 

That's the basic premise of it, men chase and women get chased. I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. That isn't the issue. The real issue is whether or not a girl you like wants you chasing her. Is the guy worth it for her? What's so great about him as opposed to anyone else?

 

Becoming a well established, desirable, attractive person should be the exhausting part of this whole thing. That's the "work." Getting the girl is easy then. There's no secret to what women like. So many men just don't want to put in the effort in to becoming that sort of person. They want to live their lives without ever having to step out of their comfort zone or put work into anything. And a lot of them ignorantly expect the same results as people who apply themselves to go after what they want.

 

I think I've maybe met one once. In my life. He was annoying.

 

I cannot take anyone seriously who tries to assert that Jersey Shore types are prevalent.

 

 

I don't know where you live, but this sort of person is quite prevalent in the northeast. That doesn't mean they aren't easily avoidable though.

[serial muse]

I don't know where you live, but this sort of person is quite prevalent in the northeast. That doesn't mean they aren't easily avoidable though.

 

I live in the northeast. Grew up in the south.

[fortyninethousand322]

I don't know. I kind of wish their was a procedure. It seems kind of random to me for the most part.

[Glinda.Good]

It sounds like an unpleasant event that happens in a doctor's office, or even a hospital. To be avoided!

[2.50 a gallon]

Too many guys make this more difficult than it needs to be. You need to learn how to talk to women like they are normal people. Just get to know them. And you will be surprised how often they will say, "Sometime we should hookup. About half of my dates were initiated by women.

[thefooloftheyear]

On the list of exhausting things I might encounter on a typical day, Id put it around...........um...... 87...

 

TFY

[normal person]

easier said than done, it's easy to run out of things to say or talk about, too many awkward silences

 

Seriously? I can't remember the last time I ran out of things to say or ask to someone. You should want to know everything you can about a person. It's a bonding experience. It makes them feel special. You learn something about them and the world. Satisfy your natural curiosities. You should've left "awkward silences" back in middle school.

[2.50 a gallon]

Most people, and especially women, like to talk about themselves and their lives. You should be looking her in the eye, so notice the color of her eyes. A compliment, and ask her where did you get them beautiful (brown / blue / green eyes. from you mom or your dad? Notice if she has a draw or twang then ask her where she is from. Were you born around here? Pets, are you a cat or a dog person? Cat people especially like to talk about the latest thing their cat has done. Are they into sports, what's their favorite team?Their favorite cartoon character, Mickey, Taz, Pooh?

 

 

And take it from there, what do they like to eat? Mexican, Italian? Have you ever tried the food at Angelo's

 

 

Easy

Edited June 25, 2014 by 2.50 a gallon

[Targetlock]

All this effort will be worthwhile once you find that special person, or what I keep telling myself.

[normal person]

I do ask those getting to know each other type of questions but instead there are awkward silences still

 

Don't ask trivial stuff. Find out why she thinks/feels/is a certain way. What's the substantial root of the trivial thing?

[ponchsox]

No. I'll ask a woman I'm interested out on a date. If she says yes, great, lets have fun and see where it goes. If not, I move on and ask someone else. If you're exhausted from this, you're doing it wrong.

[Glinda.Good]

struggling to get a girlfriend

 

The more I hear of this, the more doubtful I get that anybody will find a mate through "struggling."

 

Just live your life and get really, really good at a thing or two. Try to become an interesting conversationalist and a good friend, and to do activities with others;

 

You'll be surprised.

[MissBee]

I never found dating exhausting. Mostly, I found it fun, with occasional setbacks or frustrations. I think you may benefit from changing your attitude.

 

If simply looking for a gf is this difficult, you certainly aren't going to be able to do what it takes to KEEP a gf. I've found most of my relationships to require little work (my first marriage being the major exception) but they do require constant awareness and communication to keep them healthy and fulfilling.

 

Ditto.

 

Relationships are more work than simply dating or getting the person's initial interest.

 

Foremost though: if you don't have a strong sense of self, healthy self worth and self esteem and don't know how to not take rejection personally, you will find dating way more difficult and defeating than other people and will feel like you have to behave in out of character ways, which is more exhausting.

[hotpotato]

I do ask those getting to know each other type of questions but instead there are awkward silences still

 

Same here...

[Trane]

The procedure to get a girl is never exhausting. If you see a lady who gives you a spark, all you really have to do is find your inner courage and ask her.

 

What I find truly tiresome is when a woman sees herself fit to challenge and ridicule my manhood because I don't fit her level of attraction. This is what I finding tedious and nauseating about dating.

[Camaro Guy]

I think men feel this way because we usually have to put forth the initial effort. Creating fire without a lighter is very hard if you've never done it before. Even if you have, it can still be difficult. I feel dating is the same way. I wouldn't know personally because I have never gone on one before.

[Targetlock]

I like to think that when you find the right person it makes all your efforts seem worthwhile, like every mistake, date, rejection was just one step on the journey that led you to the right person

[Lonely122]

No, it isn't too exhausting, if you find someone that really excites you then it's worth it

[Glinda.Good]

A lot of guys who are late bloomers, didn't get their first girlfriend until a later than average age or just are still single, still a virgin, I would bet a huge portion of them would not be virgins or would have had a relationship already if they were girls, I've said this to myself many times throughout the years, I bet if I was born a girl, I would have had a boyfriend a long time ago, for guys its literally a matter of knowing how to get a date/relationship, for guys its a matter of skill or instinct, for girls they don't need to know how since it obviously just comes to them, happens out of thin air for them.

 

Why can't you understand that this path you are on where you compare yourself to "girls" and how easy girls have it compared to you is a total dead end?

 

#1) You have no idea what "girls" experience

 

#2) Every person experiences things differently anyway, regardless of their gender.

 

#3) Anyway, obsessing over how you feel "less than" any other people is not helping you in any way. Work with what you have, on making the best of it. How much easier you think other people have it in dating is pertinent to nothing.

[hasaquestion]

Well girls don't have to do the approaching and asking out, initiating, escalating, leading, etc., there is no denying that, yes I'm sure there are reversal exceptions but 99 percent of girls are stubbornly passive

 

..... what's your point???

 

I just don't understand why guys complain about having to do the approaching, escalating, or leading women, or this or that. Its just silly.

 

Having to do all that is an OPPORTUNITY. The fact that other men are scared sh*tless of women is an OPPORTUNITY for you to jump them in the pecking order by taking charge. Would you rather just get judged solely on your God-given physical appearance? I know I wouldn't.