HappyLove Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 A man who only wants sex and is willing to wait for a few months to get it will actually do this??? Are you a guy? YES!!!!! NEVER underestimate what a man will do for sex!
Author Carm Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 YES!!!!! NEVER underestimate what a man will do for sex! Why?? Sex is so easy to get so why wait for a woman who doesn't give it away easily? If that's a guys motive he can get it with some women on a first date.
Weezy1973 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Why?? Sex is so easy to get so why wait for a woman who doesn't give it away easily? If that's a guys motive he can get it with some women on a first date. Sex is easy to get from an unnatractive woman. OP is a fitness instructor/model who refuses to have casual sex.
DArtagnan2 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 i would prefer it if i wer to date a guy that he took a job he was passionately happy with than be in a job he was unhappy and rich...in happiness steam rolls a home finding the right career for them, enhances a home i would brain storm and motivate a guy to being the best and getting the job suited for him regardless if it was voluntary work or minimum wage...as long as he knew it was the best job he has ever been in....happiness to be had for all then ..... I agree. I love what I do now, and soon, I may have to look for a new job. So in a discussion we were all having, I said, "I am going to look for something close to what I do now if and when this ends or maybe I will be a truck driver", (as I love driving). one of my co-workers said, "What!? You have like 8 degrees! If I had 8 degrees I certainly wouldn't be looking for a job like this or be a truck driver." My degrees really have nothing to do with what I do now and a lot of people laugh at or poke fun at me because I work where I do. But truth be told, I finally found something I LOVE to do and want to continue doing it. I could make quite a bit more money if I was to go off my degrees, but that never brought me a job I liked before this one. I make decent money, and increases still come in pay. I get to still be a part of the Army. Im not in poverty and have been able to still save a good nest egg from my job over the last 5 years. I would stay as long as I could if it permitted cus I am happy doing what I do.
Author Carm Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Sex is easy to get from an unnatractive woman. OP is a fitness instructor/model who refuses to have casual sex. Sex is sex...who cares if the woman is attractive and fit? If the goal is sex why wait for MONTHS for an attractive fit woman when a good looking man can get sex from a decent looking woman. I am a woman, so I'm baffled by this.
Emilia Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Sex is sex...who cares if the woman is attractive and fit? If the goal is sex why wait for MONTHS for an attractive fit woman when a good looking man can get sex from a decent looking woman. I am a woman, so I'm baffled by this. Because sex isn't just sex. Chemistry is what matters most and it's not just about looks. Nothing to do with your gender it's more about how much in touch you are with your sexuality. The brain is the biggest sexual organ.
Sunfire73 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I'm going against the majority here and tell you to go ahead and date him. If you are already financially independent, and you think that he won't need you to pay for his expenses, then go ahead and give him a chance. You said that he is capable of paying for dates, so he's not like he's poor or something. If he respects you, treats you well, kind, then those are basic values that is worthy of starting a relationship. But if you want a partner whom you are expecting to provide luxury for you, then yes, let him go.
HappyLove Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I'm going against the majority here and tell you to go ahead and date him. If you are already financially independent, and you think that he won't need you to pay for his expenses, then go ahead and give him a chance. You said that he is capable of paying for dates, so he's not like he's poor or something. If he respects you, treats you well, kind, then those are basic values that is worthy of starting a relationship. But if you want a partner whom you are expecting to provide luxury for you, then yes, let him go. Except, it's not JUST about money. He's not sure he even WANTS a relationship! OP sounds like she WANTS a relationship so it sounds like they are not even compatible. Even if a 30 year old man says he's not sure what he wants but he'll gladly date you chances are you better run because all that means is he's not interested in a serious relationship! Too many women ignore what men say and hang in there hoping to change his mind after he sees how fantastic she is. When a man tells you something LISTEN! Don't make up a fairy tale in your head how he'll change for you! It's saves a whole lot of time and heartache.
Phantom888 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I've always given myself 3 dates to figure out if there is chemistry on my part. Sometimes it happens but more often it doesn't. I met this guy a few weeks ago, we had our first date two weeks ago. The first time I laid eyes on him my heart skipped a beat. Tall, dark and handsome (so cliché)...but true. The chemistry between the both of us is undeniable. There are some issues however, he works and lives downtown and I live about 45 minutes away. He does not own a car, I do, which means I will do all the driving to see him. I thought this would bother me but I'm so attracted to him I am okay with it. Here are the real issues, we are both in our late 40's. He has a decent job but he's basically living like a starving student. I've done well for myself, own my own home, great job and steady life. He does not have his life together, his goals are fuzzy, he wants a real relationship but doesn't know if he's ready for it. And, to boot, he told me that 6 months ago he went on meds to control depression. I've been single for awhile (my choice) and I know what I want. I'm giving him 2 months to see where this is going (if anywhere). Fair? I have no problem meeting men...am an attractive fitness model/trainer but I'm concerned about this....I am not a gold digger but I need someone who can offer some sort of security. Just because he is good looking doesn't mean he is compatible with you. You know he is a loser. Men at that age who haven't gotten their act together are not going to change....for you or anyone. There is a reason why a good looking guy like that is single.
hasaquestion Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Just because he is good looking doesn't mean he is compatible with you. You know he is a loser. Men at that age who haven't gotten their act together are not going to change....for you or anyone. There is a reason why a good looking guy like that is single. This is the big thing that stuck out to me. How is this guy 50 years into his life, as dashing as you claim him to be, and single? There's so many plain guys walking around with a woman out there. I'm not saying you should write him off. But that seems suspicious.
MidwestUSA Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 This is the big thing that stuck out to me. How is this guy 50 years into his life, as dashing as you claim him to be, and single? There's so many plain guys walking around with a woman out there. I'm not saying you should write him off. But that seems suspicious. I don't know if OP mentioned how long it's been since he 'walked away from his marriage' (that wording alone is a red flag). But he might be in that 'not so available' transition time after separation or divorce. Just a guess.
Author Carm Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Just because he is good looking doesn't mean he is compatible with you. You know he is a loser. Men at that age who haven't gotten their act together are not going to change....for you or anyone. There is a reason why a good looking guy like that is single. I'm not saying he is compatible with me...isn't that what dating is all about...finding that out? If you read the thread you would see that he did own a home, a car, a dog, etc....but he walked away from his marriage and it. So, calling him a loser is a stretch. I can think of far better examples of what a loser is. I'm not invested in him, we've only been on 4 dates. If I see that we are not compatible, I'll pull the plug myself.
Weezy1973 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Sex is sex...who cares if the woman is attractive and fit? If the goal is sex why wait for MONTHS for an attractive fit woman when a good looking man can get sex from a decent looking woman. I am a woman, so I'm baffled by this. Saying sex is sex is like saying food is food. Some people are fine eating at McDonalds, but some people are more than willing to spend more to get a $75 steak. 1
MissBee Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) I've always given myself 3 dates to figure out if there is chemistry on my part. Sometimes it happens but more often it doesn't. I met this guy a few weeks ago, we had our first date two weeks ago. The first time I laid eyes on him my heart skipped a beat. Tall, dark and handsome (so cliché)...but true. The chemistry between the both of us is undeniable. There are some issues however, he works and lives downtown and I live about 45 minutes away. He does not own a car, I do, which means I will do all the driving to see him. I thought this would bother me but I'm so attracted to him I am okay with it. Here are the real issues, we are both in our late 40's. He has a decent job but he's basically living like a starving student. I've done well for myself, own my own home, great job and steady life. He does not have his life together, his goals are fuzzy, he wants a real relationship but doesn't know if he's ready for it. And, to boot, he told me that 6 months ago he went on meds to control depression. I've been single for awhile (my choice) and I know what I want. I'm giving him 2 months to see where this is going (if anywhere). Fair? I have no problem meeting men...am an attractive fitness model/trainer but I'm concerned about this....I am not a gold digger but I need someone who can offer some sort of security. You say you know what you want...yet this guy seems to be a lot of what you don't want...sooo what exactly do you need two months to see? Carm, don't fool yourself. You've lived enough life hopefully to know that chemistry and a man being attractive do not a good relationship make and if he is lacking in other fundamental areas of importance...he most likely will not transform in 8 weeks to having his life, goals, relationship needs etc together. I'm in my 20s and want to eventually get married and in dating I really don't waste time. Yes I want a man I'm physically into but that is the LEAST. What I look at first is: does he have the main qualifications I NEED in a serious partner? Is he ambitious, does he also want marriage, kids, a family in the future, does he have a career or is on his way to one, is he close to his family, is he emotionally available and the list goes on of the important things I know I need. If he isn't checking those KEY boxes then what is there to talk about or see? It's very easy to waste time having fun and sex with someone who is absolutely not right for you relationship wise...and it's cool if you're just looking for a fling, but if you say you aren't and claim you know what you want, then there really should be no negotiating when you come across people who clearly are lacking in the areas of importance for you. After a man checks many of the key things and so long as he doesn't check any of my absolute hell nos, then I proceed to see where it goes...but it's pointless for me to meet a man with no career, no interest in one, not too sure about marriage or kids etc. but he's pretty cute and funny and then I give it two months to see where it goes? I know exactly where it's going to go... Edited June 11, 2014 by MissBee
Author Carm Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 This is the big thing that stuck out to me. How is this guy 50 years into his life, as dashing as you claim him to be, and single? There's so many plain guys walking around with a woman out there. I'm not saying you should write him off. But that seems suspicious. Really? There are good looking single people out there. People are shocked when I tell them I'm single. It does happen.
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