Author waiting4u Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Yupp, awesome website and this situation reminds me of her articles on people being worked up about relationships that weren't...i..e. the emotional investment made and devastation felt do not match reality---there was no relationship. OP, I think this will shed some light on your feelings. You've posted a lot before on essentially not being attracted to decent men but mostly being attracted to men who aren't right for you. Funnily, unavailable women tend to attract unavailable men as well, except in women it manifests as them being the ones who think they so want a relationship with these people and so it isn't obvious that they are unavailable too, but they are or else they'd not be so invested in these non-relationships and wouldn't constantly choose these situations and men who can never provide a real relationship. Been there, done that, getting over it! I think it would be good for you to check it out and especially the selections about how and why women esp get invested in a non-relationship, which is what you had with this guy. You're devastated over an infatuation and one date, and him flaking, but otherwise it wasn't like you had a substantial relationship...which means that a lot of your upset feelings are projections and also about yourself, which is good to know, as once you start realizing that a lot of it is about you and your feelings about yourself, it's easier to do something about vs. what you're doing now which is talking about how much he should have done this and should have done that and you taught him a lesson and him him him...when this dude doesn't care. He isn't at home licking his wounds saying "Man she taught me..." he doesn't care, he never cared that much and won't start now and none of what you thought he should do matters as he didn't do it and won't...so yea...check it out! Absolutely brilliant insight here. I never really thought of it that way. Love it! Thank you! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 If you really wanted to teach him a lesson, you should have just never responded to any of his further contact. Silence speaks louder than words. 2
HappyLove Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Yupp, awesome website and this situation reminds me of her articles on people being worked up about relationships that weren't...i..e. the emotional investment made and devastation felt do not match reality---there was no relationship. OP, I think this will shed some light on your feelings. You've posted a lot before on essentially not being attracted to decent men but mostly being attracted to men who aren't right for you. Funnily, unavailable women tend to attract unavailable men as well, except in women it manifests as them being the ones who think they so want a relationship with these people and so it isn't obvious that they are unavailable too, but they are or else they'd not be so invested in these non-relationships and wouldn't constantly choose these situations and men who can never provide a real relationship. Been there, done that, getting over it! I think it would be good for you to check it out and especially the selections about how and why women esp get invested in a non-relationship, which is what you had with this guy. You're devastated over an infatuation and one date, and him flaking, but otherwise it wasn't like you had a substantial relationship...which means that a lot of your upset feelings are projections and also about yourself, which is good to know, as once you start realizing that a lot of it is about you and your feelings about yourself, it's easier to do something about vs. what you're doing now which is talking about how much he should have done this and should have done that and you taught him a lesson and him him him...when this dude doesn't care. He isn't at home licking his wounds saying "Man she taught me..." he doesn't care, he never cared that much and won't start now and none of what you thought he should do matters as he didn't do it and won't...so yea...check it out! PREACH! Wish I could like this 1000 times! We can ALL learn from this! 1
MidwestUSA Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 If you really wanted to teach him a lesson, you should have just never responded to any of his further contact. Silence speaks louder than words. Yep. By giving him that reaction, he knows he still holds the power over women to evoke it. He probably gave himself a few pats on the back when he read that. But, it's done. Move on.
rubberman Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Forget him, he is clearly not interested. Probably just wanted to **** you. Move on.
Recommended Posts