fifipheebs Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 He and I are quite good friends. However, he will hug everyone but me. On numerous occasions he had hinted at wanting hugs but since he never gave them to me in the past I don't understand the comments. It seems each time we hugs our other friends goodbye, he stops at me, extends his hand for a shake and says goodbye. I don't understand.
Author fifipheebs Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Perhaps you give off a vicious don't touch me vibe. I don't believe so. I will hug everyone else and I'll look at him when it's his turn. But I sense he backs away.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 The next time he puts out his hand for a hand shake, grab him and HUG HIM!!!! Done 4
Mrin Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I've definitely done this with friends I was attracted to. 1
Lansing Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Funny that he extends out his hand for a handshake though! I have certain friends that I "hug" and certain ones that I will just say hi to and bye to from a distance. One of those friends hugs other people from time to time but in general she doesn't seem like the touchy feely type. With the people I know that like to hug I will go in for the hug but for others I don't. If things have been setup where you didn't hug each other from the start he figures you don't want to hug... Especially since he said something about wanting hugs.... You could always try saying something like "I think we are good enough friends to forgo the handshakes and hug" 2
Author fifipheebs Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Funny that he extends out his hand for a handshake though! I have certain friends that I "hug" and certain ones that I will just say hi to and bye to from a distance. One of those friends hugs other people from time to time but in general she doesn't seem like the touchy feely type. With the people I know that like to hug I will go in for the hug but for others I don't. If things have been setup where you didn't hug each other from the start he figures you don't want to hug... Especially since he said something about wanting hugs.... You could always try saying something like "I think we are good enough friends to forgo the handshakes and hug" I really like this explanation Lansing. You may have hit the nail on the head with it. When we first met he extended his arms for a hug but i didn't hug him. I didnt think it was the time for it as I just met him and didnt want people to talk. Over the course of our friendship, when things got tough in my life, he would listen to me talk about it but say "go ask so and so to hug you". it feels like a slap in the face. unless he wanted me to give him permission to by asking him for one. In the time following, he would tease me and say "someone needs a hug" or "i would hug you but there are people around". when a group of us friends say our farewells and part, he gets excited and hugs everyone - male and female - but overlooks me, or if he stops, he does the hand extend as i mentioned. honestly, i have such a tough time reading this guy.
Author fifipheebs Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 I've definitely done this with friends I was attracted to. mrin, are you able to explain why you hesitate to hug those you like? my guy seems to hug girls he's attracted to. i've seen the facebook pictures and he'll push my buttons talking about them in front of me. he laughs like a baffoon when i blow up. why does he have no issues hugging those girls, but wont when it comes to me?
Mrin Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) Good question. I guess it comes down to avoiding that sort of physical contact because I am worried that if we hug it might become more. If only in my head. And it isn't that I don't want it to become more. Just in the split second of goodbye I would hesitate and choose to honor the friendship. It has actually caused problems in the past. One particular work friend that I was very attracted to I would never hug. I hugged everyone else. Rumors started to fly that we were shacking up and trying to keep it quiet. Several years later (we actually did date) we were laughing about it and she confessed that she had sort of a complex about it. Thought she had BO or something. It happened just the other day with some casual friends. I hugged the married friend who I am not attracted to but proffered my hand to the cute single one. She eschewed it and hugged me anyhow. Ha! Addendum: I can't speak for your guy but if I were him, it would be the ones he doesn't hug that would be the ones that you should worry about. The ones ones he hugs, cute as they maybe be, are the ones he sees as "safe". Man, we men can be can be confusing no? Edited June 8, 2014 by Mrin 1
Author fifipheebs Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 It has actually caused problems in the past. One particular work friend that I was very attracted to I would never hug. Thought she had BO or Addendum: I can't speak for your guy but if I were him, it would be the ones he doesn't hug that would be the ones that you should worry about. The ones ones he hugs, cute as they maybe be, are the ones he sees as "safe". Man, we men can be can be confusing no? @mrin, thanks for replying to my question. LOL. At times i wonder if he thinks i have BO or smell really bad to be avoiding me. I know there are girls he avoids like the plague and wont hug, but I dont see him talking to them either, so i know he isn't not hugging him bcuz he has secret feelings. Lately, he's kind of been dodgy with me. At times i catch his eyes following me, but at other times he's dodging me like being in another room than me. Odd fellow and we are suposed to be good friends. Thanks for the tidbit about the cute ones he hugs being the ones he deems "safe".
Do_The_Herp Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Just freaking hug him, dang it.. Ignore him putting his hands out, and hug the guy. If you like him, do it. Or I'll cry. As Awhnawld Schawarzannegah vud sah, DOO EET NAOW. DOO EET. 1
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