1workingirl Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I'm new to the forum and was wondering how many are MOW seeing MOM or vice versa. Neither of us intend to leave our marriages. It's strange to be in this situation since as far as I know it's not a common situation.
Lucygolds Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I am a MOW who was seeing a MOM. His W found out about 7 weeks ago. Neither one of us intended to leave our spouses. If your interested my story is in the wondering why post.
still_an_Angel Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I was still with my husband when I started the affair with MM. I am now separated but he is still married.
herself Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Yes, I was as well, 13 year EA. I really loved that we could have our bond and still love our spouses. We never talked about leaving or even wanted to. Our marriages were good, we loved our spouses so it wasn't a case of being unhappy it was a case of a friendship that blossomed over the years before either of us were married and feeling realized after it was too late. Some of the conflict is, even though we weren't having sex, we were talking about it and as it grew the guilt grew. Also we could not take that it was getting deeper and stronger, because it was a threat. It hurt to not be able to meet for coffee every day and go to this or that event together. The constant yearning to be a normal couple WHILE maintaining a full healthy marriage became ALOT. We couldn't survive as a couple and the guilt caused him to abandon our relationship abruptly and overnight for about 6 months almost solid NC he reached out once, I did as well. Now we are back to friends. 2
ConfusedMarriedOW Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I was one! But we had an EA not a PA. Still love him, but it is to complicated with both of us being married and all.
sunburned Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Hi and welcome to the forum. I am a MW who had an affair with a MM. It was only a few months. It was mostly an EA with some physical contact. No sex. I was never in love with him but thought we had a meaningful friendship. It turned out we didn't. do you have a specific question? You didn't ask one but I will just warn you not to take too much comfort in the fact that you are both married, love your spouses and are just seeing each other for fun. Those factors won't "protect" your emotions. This site is littered with the ruins of those same thoughts. contrary to the assumption in your OP, there are lots of MM/MW stories here though I suppose the garden variety MM and single OW is more common. Most of how you weather an affair depends on your own personality and psyche. I did not fare so well. I am finally over it but it took 10 months, about twice as long as the A itself. Again, do let us Know if you have a specific question. If you were just trying to gauge numbers, I apologize for the excess verbiage!
underwater2010 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Oh it is common....think about it. It is safer to have a partner that has just as much to lose as you do. But do me a favor and think about another side...that of the BW/BH. If you are okay with destroying your own household, far be it from us to stop you....but why would you KNOWINGLY put someone else's household at risk? At least take the time to find a single person that has only themselves to worry about. I really do believe the being MOW/MOM with an AP that is also married is a lot worse than being just the OW/OM.
Nattie Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Hi, and welcome . I'm a MW, involved with a MM. It's been over a year and a half now. Long story short, he was my boss, it started out physical, we never thought it would grow beyond our control etc etc etc.... same old story. We did manage to keep it pretty casual for the first year and a half, but these past few months have opened one hell of a can of worms. He's ready to leave her NOW. I love him but am scared of the change, family backlash, drama, kids hating us, the list goes on. I think we will end up together, but it's going to be a very difficult path. This is a very tricky situation, not to be taken lightly. Once you're in too deep there's no getting out without devastating someone.
violet1 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Oh sweetie, your situation is very common. Not so much on this board, but I was on a forum specifically for waywards and there were tons of people just like you. I was also an MW involved with an MM. Our A lasted about a year until my H found texts. Two months or so later I broke NC and slept with my exMM. I confessed my break of NC and the sex which led to D Day #2. The problem with these type of affairs is that in time emotions come into play and one if not both parties end up wanting more. Towards the end my exMM and I future faked a lot. Said we were soul mates and blah, blah, blah... In the beginning though it was just supposed to be a little harmless fun and to fulfill the missing voids in our marriages. Boy was I wrong and I sure felt the damage when it all came falling down on top of me. I have never personally heard of an affair ending well without any drama. I wish you well. 1
yogachic Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I am a MW seeing a MM. We met about a year and half ago - but parted ways. He reached back out to me about 8 or so months ago and we have been together ever since. Neither of us are looking to leave our marriages but are very connected to one another. This is more common than you think. I would not want to be with a single guy because then we wouldn't be on the 'same page' plus he would not have anything to lose if we were to get caught...
Author 1workingirl Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Sunburned, no specific question in mind. I just was wondering how many there were. I didn't realise it was as common as it is. I'll have to post my story. Yeah, as dumb as it sounds it seems safe. We both have just as much to lose.
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