My categories of guys

[SolG]

I have found it fascinating to read here at LS on numerous occasions that many believe that women have ONSs/casual sex against their better judgement with men they find irresistible and secretly want to have relationships with. And that the ensuing sex is all holds barred. Couldn't be further from the truth for me!

 

I thought I'd post this because it is apparent to me that we all have different ways of categorising folk based on relationship/sex potential and I'm interested in reading how others do the stack and rack; male and female.

 

These are of course broad generalisation and there have been the odd exceptions, but this is pretty much how my categories go:

 

CAT3 Guy: I find you attractive enough, but I'm not super drawn to you. I instinctively know there's not enough compatibility here to sustain an actual relationship, but if I'm in the mood, I may have sex with you. But that will be it, and probably once only, and it will be vanilla standard. I'm not interested in drawing this out--and really neither are you--lets not exchange numbers.

 

CAT2 Guy: I find you really interesting. We have great conversations. But I'm not at all attracted to you. We are never going to have sex. Lets do coffee, brunches and other get togethers with friends. If you have a partner, I want to meet her too. And you get to meet the important people in my life as well. You're my friend.

 

CAT1 Guy: I find you irresistible and am attracted to you like crazy. We converse with ease, seem to have lots in common, and I cannot wait to jump your bones! However, unlike with CAT3 Guy, I actually care what happens here, so I'm going to take my time before hopping into bed. I want to know more about you, see if I can trust you and make sure I'm right about my initial perception of our compatibility. I could easily have deeper feelings for you, so I need to guard my heart here. If things go well, we will eventually have sex. And it will be no holds barred amazing. Because I care about and trust you and feel free to let go and reveal my true self, including my kinky and vulnerable sides. We have the potential to become really important in each other's lives.

 

Keen to read how your broad categories compare.

Edited June 8, 2014 by SolG

[Candy_Pants]

Category 1: My husband.

 

Category 2: All other men.

[Bruce Leigh]

With all the different stereotypes out there, do we really need to put people into categories too ??

[somedude81]

I have found it fascinating to read here at LS on numerous occasions that many believe that women have ONSs/casual sex against their better judgement with men they find irresistible and secretly want to have relationships with. And that the ensuing sex is all holds barred. Couldn't be further from the truth for me!

 

I thought I'd post this because it is apparent to me that we all have different ways of categorising folk based on relationship/sex potential and I'm interested in reading how others do the stack and rack; male and female.

 

These are of course broad generalisation and there have been the odd exceptions, but this is pretty much how my categories go:

 

CAT3 Guy: I find you attractive enough, but I'm not super drawn to you. I instinctively know there's not enough compatibility here to sustain an actual relationship, but if I'm in the mood, I may have sex with you. But that will be it, and probably once only, and it will be vanilla standard. I'm not interested in drawing this out--and really neither are you--lets not exchange numbers.

 

CAT2 Guy: I find you really interesting. We have great conversations. But I'm not at all attracted to you. We are never going to have sex. Lets do coffee, brunches and other get togethers with friends. If you have a partner, I want to meet her too. And you get to meet the important people in my life as well. You're my friend.

 

CAT1 Guy: I find you irresistible and am attracted to you like crazy. We converse with ease, seem to have lots in common, and I cannot wait to jump your bones! However, unlike with CAT3 Guy, I actually care what happens here, so I'm going to take my time before hopping into bed. I want to know more about you, see if I can trust you and make sure I'm right about my initial perception of our compatibility. I could easily have deeper feelings for you, so I need to guard my heart here. If things go well, we will eventually have sex. And it will be no holds barred amazing. Because I care about and trust you and feel free to let go and reveal my true self, including my kinky and vulnerable sides. We have the potential to become really important in each other's lives.

 

Keen to read how your broad categories compare.

Most men who are in your Cat 3, are also in Cat 3 for the vast majority of women. And no, I don't believe you actually take your time with them.

[Els]

Romantically? (1) Those I want a R with, and (2) those I don't... Not interested in ONS so there isn't that added complexity.

 

When I am in a happy LTR, also, ALL guys automatically get lumped into (2) for the time being, so that makes things even simpler.

[SolG]

With all the different stereotypes out there, do we really need to put people into categories too ??

 

I know! However, the nuance here I guess is that I'm looking at categories in terms of response, more than categories of men per se. Does that make sense?

 

Most men who are in your Cat 3, are also in Cat 3 for the vast majority of women. And no, I don't believe you actually take your time with them.

 

Hey somedude :-)

 

Firstly, no I don't believe that all women are set a flutter by the same type of guy. We're all different, and have different criteria for a keeper/Cat3. I only have to look around at my family and friends and the variety in their relationships to attest to that! One woman's keeper is another woman's ignore at all costs. Do you want the same type of woman in a relationship as all your male peers?

 

Secondly... Oh yes I do take my time if I'm really interested! Wasn't always the case when I was young and naive. But I can tell you that you learn quickly that while sex can be taken casually, relationships cannot. For me at least, where my emotions are in play, I tread exceedingly carefully. Once burnt... twice shy.

[todreaminblue]

Category 3 guys are my dream guys.forever partners

 

 

Category one guys are the guys who are the ones who often have enough guts to approach me, and ones i have dated and had long term relationships with, all in all, I have made improvements to how i regard myself so category one i snot fo rme anymore.I deserve the dream, because i can be a dream of a partner i always have been a category three type of woman.

 

 

I dont think the guy who is forever with me would ever want to leave me out of boredom if and i state if he is a category three,category ones are never satisfied even with a multiple personality.

 

 

Category two's dont interest me at all,I am not a coffee drinker anymore and cafes are fishbowls. cetegory twos could likely be category ones who are probably already taken and are fishing in fish bowls.......deb

[BarackObama]

I don't fall in any of those categories.

[SolG]

I don't fall in any of those categories.

 

No you don't fall into any of those categories. Because they are my categories, and I haven't met you! Where do you think you fall for those you have met? Or even better, do you have categories of your own for the ppl you meet? Or not?

[somedude81]

Hey somedude :-)

 

Firstly, no I don't believe that all women are set a flutter by the same type of guy. We're all different, and have different criteria for a keeper/Cat3. I only have to look around at my family and friends and the variety in their relationships to attest to that! One woman's keeper is another woman's ignore at all costs. Do you want the same type of woman in a relationship as all your male peers?

 

Secondly... Oh yes I do take my time if I'm really interested! Wasn't always the case when I was young and naive. But I can tell you that you learn quickly that while sex can be taken casually, relationships cannot. For me at least, where my emotions are in play, I tread exceedingly carefully. Once burnt... twice shy.

Sorry, I thought this thread was about casual relationships and sex.

 

You said something about being that way when you were young and naive. I'm assuming you are talking about about in your 20's which is the women I'm most interested in.

[Priv]

Cat 1. My abyssinian cat in heat. Not my first choice but I really don't have a say in the matter atm.

Cat 2. Women I am attracted to. Don't do casual sex so no use of subsets.

Cat 3. Every other woman.