greenfairie Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I know we can't be together and it's been so long since we have been together or we broke up. I don't understand why sometimes I still miss him and long to have that closure with him again when really there is no point. I also am falling for someone else so how can I have feelings for two men? I am confused.
Author greenfairie Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Thank you but I want to understand better. Why do you say that? Just curious. but then why do I get so nervous and worked up when I know I am about to see him? Or when I do see him, I don't feel like myself and almost like I wish I can leave. I sometimes check his Facebook as well too just because I'm curious what he looks like and I started to miss him when looking at this one profile picture. Then I felt weird just for being on his profile so I quickly got off of that.
erklat Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 You stop having feelings when you stop cyber stalking him and keep NC. Rinse. Repeat. Then you find someone else who you have exclusive feelings for. 1
Kelly M Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) I am so sorry you are going through this The reason why is you need to really keep yourself busy and surround yourself with alot of people. I know that can be hard to do, but I really do suggest going to clubs, parties, bars, etc. Having fun and surrounding yourself with alot of people is always a great coping mechanism against break ups. You need to do that cause it will show you there are other people out there and even though we all know there are billions of people in this world, we don't see it though, we just know it, so it's not going to sink into your head that there is always going to be somebody else, that is why you have to somehow create a big social circle, and surround yourself with alot of people. Cause the visual of alot of people in your surroundings will penetrate through your mind that you can move on and find someone better. You are not really falling in love with this new person, you just think you are, but truthfully if you were falling in love with this new person, your ex wouldn't even cross your mind and you would be onto bigger and better etc. But since your ex still clouds your mind tells me that this new person isn't the one and you're not really in love with the new person, and you are just infatuated or have a crush on this new person. I really do recommend that you create a big social circle somehow, and start really making yourself busy. It really will create a world of difference. It will open your mind and then you will eventually find someone that will be better than your ex and then he won't even cross your mind anymore. Hope I helped. Take care and I hope everything works out for you! Edited June 8, 2014 by Kelly M 1
littleplanet Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I know we can't be together and it's been so long since we have been together or we broke up. I don't understand why sometimes I still miss him and long to have that closure with him again when really there is no point. I also am falling for someone else so how can I have feelings for two men? I am confused. Conventions dictate that this one ends, and that one starts. Just like the Big Macs on a conveyor belt. The human heart isn't always so conventional, OP. When I was 19, I was in love with two girls at the same time. The old one, who was a year past breakup. The new one, who showed up to prove to me I was capable of loving someone else. Was I scandalized? Did I bed-hop? Not a bit of it. I just felt powerfully and truthfully for two different people at the same time. Did it create chaos and damage? No. Then when I was 21, the same damned thing happened all over again. (A year later I stopped the pattern for sanity's sake.) Growing pains. A heart too full of adventure for its own good. You can celebrate the fact that you've got so much love in you. But take care of your own heart, too. And to truly embrace the new......you do have to let go of the old. Otherwise, a new love bounces off the bubble of the old that still encases you. 2
Author greenfairie Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 I saw my ex the other night and I had mixed feelings. There were some feelings of relief that we weren't together anymore. But there was still this chemistry and attraction I felt towards him and I was like, I miss you. I want to talk to you more. A little part of me didn't want to leave the party because I kept wanting to talk to him about everything else. We used to be able to talk for hours and now it is like we are new friends all over again.
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