Gallaxia Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Wasn't quite sure where to post this but- typically because he's genuinely pretty busy he contacts me a few hours beforehand (when he gets off work) for us to hangout and hookup. But this time, he contacted me early: Fri mid-morning to "reserve me"/save some time to hang out with him on Sunday. Last week he asked to hang out and I told him I couldn't. He was not too pleased about it but understood. Anyway, I'm confused because he's never done this before and now I'm surprised and wondering because it seems so out of nature the few months we've been fwb. Any insight into this or am I totally over-reading/missing something?
preraph Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 You got his attention when you weren't available that time. Men basically know it's not cool to do all the hooking up at the last minute, kind of disrespectful, but most will do it if there's no objection. So I would say he reacted appropriately by making the next date ahead of time like a gentleman. You should reward this good behavior, not put him on the spot about it or explain why you weren't available. Because this is better, isn't it? 1
Author Gallaxia Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Thanks Preraph Of course it's better, he acts like a gentleman! I'm used to gentlemen in a dating situation. What I'm not so used to is fwb. So I appreciate the advice. I noticed a couple of things the last time we hung out together. 1. He was being extra touchy (needing to touch/laying on me on the sofa- I was upright and he was laying on his back with his legs on my lap) like always touching. If I got up (beers/bathroom) he'd sit awkwardly until I came back and then we'd go right back into our 'nook' lol. 2. He opened up and was sharing stories and work related photos (one of our best convos yet) just generally nice. 3. being affectionate with testing out pet names- once in the midst of sex. And reminiscent of an actual relationship. He did mention another something about another girl (in another city- on social media) in passing. And it irked the he[[ out of me and I snapped at him and asked why would he even mention her to me? Was he trying to make me jealous? It just left me wondering?
aprilisi Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Yes, my current fwb was that way for a while. Only heard from him after 10pm. But there were a few times that I was busy. Now he contacts me earlier. And he's gotten where he'll text me just to chat.
askmrknowitall Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 When I was a young man, I enjoyed my freedom. Meaning I wanted to go where and when I wanted to. So, I was always honest with women, by telling them that we were not a couple, we would enjoy each other when ever we were together, but when we were not, we were single free to do what ever we wanted. Any woman that liked me would agree to that. But there is a closeness that occurs when one likes someone, and it sometimes grows whether or not we want it to, the more time you spend with someone. It is normal for you to think that the same thing is happening to the other person at the same time (even though it may not be). Couples want to spend as much time together as possible. Hook up partners do not. It's possible that this man started to view the two of you as a couple, and without even thinking about it started to act as if you were. When he found out that you did not see the two of you as a couple, it upset him. But since he did not wish to loose you altogether, he reverted to your original agreement.
Author Gallaxia Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 When I was a young man, I enjoyed my freedom. Meaning I wanted to go where and when I wanted to. So, I was always honest with women, by telling them that we were not a couple, we would enjoy each other when ever we were together, but when we were not, we were single free to do what ever we wanted. Any woman that liked me would agree to that. But there is a closeness that occurs when one likes someone, and it sometimes grows whether or not we want it to, the more time you spend with someone. It is normal for you to think that the same thing is happening to the other person at the same time (even though it may not be). Couples want to spend as much time together as possible. Hook up partners do not. It's possible that this man started to view the two of you as a couple, and without even thinking about it started to act as if you were. When he found out that you did not see the two of you as a couple, it upset him. But since he did not wish to loose you altogether, he reverted to your original agreement. I don't know that I acted as if we weren't a couple. I was just noticing our behavior at the time. I gave him a back massage while we were talking so I'm not sure how he would have thought I'd be against it. I just got upset when he mentioned the girl. I was trying to make him realize that mentioning her was disrespectful and trying to find the motive behind that. Depending on circumstances, I'd mayyybe be open to more.
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