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Is it bad to add him first? (Facebook)


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Posted

Hi. He initiates contact in person (like, he is the first to talk to me and start conversations) but hasn't added me on Facebook.

guessing i am giving too much importance to it?

do i add him or do i wait and see if he really is interested?

 

at this point I believe he is interested, but I just dont know in what way. Thankx

Posted

Do not add him on FB yet. That's too much information too soon and it will kill the excitement and mystery.

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Posted
Do not add him on FB yet. That's too much information too soon and it will kill the excitement and mystery.

 

 

You're right! thank you, i will be more patient, it was just weird cause he knows i do have an account, but as far as i know, he isn't online that much (and i actually like that he is not one of those people)

Posted

I spent 2 years actively dating and I have never ever added to my FB a man I dated or a prospect. I observed my friend who would add every man she had 1 date with and in no time they would friend zoned her. I concluded it was too much information too fast and it killed that little mystery we experience at the beginning.

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Posted

You don't have to add him. If he's really interested he will add you. If he's not that interested, he wont. Easy.

You don't have to initiate. Wait for him to do so.

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Posted

I've only added one woman I dated and have regretted it big time. We are still friends and occasion FWB's so I can't unfriend her. I've had to make a new sharing group that excludes her and common friends.

 

Never again

Posted

Addendum: I added another friend a while back. Seemed harmless. Now it is romantic (initial stages). Awkward. I should just leave FB

Posted

I would not add anyone unless I was in a serious relationship for a while, and once it's over, they are off lol.

Posted

I say don't add him - I'm in a very similar situation and think it's best not to.

Posted

If you are comfortable to add him , go ahead. But i personally avoid doing so in my dating/relationships.

Posted

I don't understand this 'killing the mystery' theory when adding someone on facebook. Do you guys post every single private thought, idea, dreams, fears and hopes on there or what? I'd rather add someone to my fb than give him my phone number (and you do know you can adjust who sees what on your page?) This way I will not risk being pestered constantly by texts and calls. I don't keep my address or private contact information on facebook.

What people on my friendlist can see on my facebook is some pictures, places I have traveled and the name/pictures of my friends. Sometimes I will make a small status update about something I saw that intrigued me during the day. Shallow things, basically. If that is all it takes to take away the mystery, he probably wasn't interested in getting to know me on a more intimate level to begin with.

 

That being said I don't date like people do here, and if I did I would not add someone prior to the first date. If he is your friend though, and you talk regularly in real life.. eh why not?

Posted

I have added males to my account first,when i am hesitant I don't add them, basically if i ever get into a relationship i am not going to have to tell soemone our relationship started way back when on facebook.

 

 

I am not a fan of facebook,too much drama and intrigue, rather read a book, I use facebook to stalk my teen girls who post ridiculously too much info,silly girls get themselves in trouble so easily involving themselves in fights that are not theirs to handle and mediate, so no facebook is the devil you know.

 

I would prefer to have a guy i date add me if that were to happen.No relationship i ever have would be a facebook relationship start. So my suggestion, don't add him, mystery is your friend he would probably enjoy getting to know in person up close and personal as another poser has already suggested which i cant like for some reason.My like priviledges have been revoked(my computer is stuffing up)....best wishes....deb

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