chelsiethe Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) I was friends/knew of him for a long time and never expected to end up like this. After his first relationship ended (it was a two year relationship and it ended well over a year ago), he became known as a "lad" (doing crazy stuff for the laughs, kissing lots of girls etc). However somehow we ended up together and everyone was shocked including us. We fell for each other really fast and really hard and it was even better that we shared a big friendship group. One night my friend got sent a picture of him kissing a girl from the night before at a party and when I asked him about it he promised me it was a "friendly kiss" with someone he'd known for ages and that it wasn't serious and he'd never cheat. I got upset and he could tell I was hurt and then suddenly he came out with "maybe I'm just not made for a relationship right now" and it resulted in both of us crying and being upset. It also resulted in him pulling me back into the car and lots of other moments that broke my heart. He came and picked me up the same night and we continued to see each other and stuff but it was just always there. One night I finally had enough and said "look what do you want? Do you want this?" And he told me he doesn't want a relationship right now. I know that lots of this is down to having a lot going on, wanting to live his life and not be seen as losing his "lad reputation", being hurt and scared from his past relationship and not wanting to hurt me. He then proceeded over the next week to check I was okay through friends (because I began NC), went out looking for me up the moors when I went on a walk and my friends panicked about me and told people that I was "the most incredible girl he'd ever met" I have a "beautiful soul" and he also told me I was his second love. It's hard to believe that someone who cares about you that massively wouldn't want to commit to you.. We'd had a lot of times where we were both upset over it and talked until one night he said something that really hurt me and I told him I'd never forgive him and I decided to begin NC (blocked anything and everything to do with him) I lasted 9 days before I went to a party last night. He came and I had had a lot to drink.. He kept hugging me and pulling me close and wouldn't let me go and cwtched up to me on the sofa and we ended up having sex. After it was over he went to clean himself up and see our friend who was downstairs and I passed out. At 6 this morning then he came upstairs into the room (he had passed out downstairs with the friend) and came and led next to me and went back to sleep.. I was obviously really confused and I decided to leave quietly and go home. I then kik'd him and then he didn't reply to the last thing I said (it was nothing serious). I got really upset and now I'm in a mess. Either way I love him a great amount and he's my first love.. I just need some help on what to do next. We're going to see each other a few times in the future at parties and stuff.. Just don't know where to go from here.. I know he cares about me but the fact he'd rather go back to being a "lad" so he doesn't lose his reputation hurts me and breaks my heart. Do I start no contact all over again? I just hate how much I'm hurting and it won't go away.. Edited June 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
seminoles84 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Curious to how old you both are? I hate to be "that guy" but he's likely stringing you along so he can get laid..
Marco Valerio Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Yes, he just wants you around until he finds someone else. If he doesn't want to be with you and can't be loyal to you...he shouldn't have anything from you. He is using you as if you were a toy. Shut the door and do NC.
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