When Your Girl is Assaulted By Guys At Clubs

[dory]

Some girls are polite enough to wait til there's a break in the convo before rejecting a guy, and this is viewed primarily by insecure guys as not good enough or not "shutting them down hard."

 

I get hit on a lot because I dance well. I used to work go-go, meaning I like to have plenty of space around me to flaunt my moves = I dance ALONE.

 

No one ever got my contact info if I weren't single. Never cheated. Pretty good deal for my bf who wanted the sexy girl who was faithful. The guys who complain about this turn out to be more possessive than they initially let on the longer you spend with them.

[giblesp]

Sounds like nightclubs aren't your idea of a date night.

 

Maybe take your girl out somewhere else.

[jbelle6]

I don't know OP, I'm 5'1 and maybe could hit 110lbs on a heavy day and I have had zero problems getting those guys who are "assaulting" me to back off, whether going to the club or as a bartender.

 

I think you are putting the blame on the guys a bit too much.

The girls who allow that want that attention, for whatever reason, some were mentioned above.

 

I know I'll be the Debbie Downer in here, but someone could get hurt so I hate that girls go out and get this wasted. I like to save that kind of drunk for the cottage where I actually know everyone and what's in my drinks.

[Kitchen]

There is another thread where a guy is having issues because someone kissed his girlfriend in a club. It really resonated with me because this particular social situation confuses the hell out of me.

 

So, here is a new thread to discuss this confusing, awkward social situation.

 

I've been the guy who is out with a girl or some girls when other guys are all over them. It's ok for a bit, but when it lasts along time, do you start getting annoyed even though you maintain a cool exterior? I mean the girl still goes home with you, but you start to look like an idiot after a while. At least I feel like I do if that happens.

 

Guys are so agressive, you go to the bathroom for 3 mins and they have your girl cornered even if they saw you together all night. Never fails.

 

They have zero respect for people who are together. I would never hit on a girl who was obviously with someone. These guys are really that hard up?

 

And what if you are both super sloppy drunk and she messes up and gives her email to someone? That's happened to me before in a dating situation. Nothing came of it and she was claiming to just be keeping in contact for art purposes (we were just dating, no commitment), but where do you draw the line??

 

When is this club behavior that 99% of all girls exhibit too much? When a guy goes in for a kiss like the op's situation? Sooner? Later?

 

What does everyone think?

 

And why do girls find it so necessary to slut around clubs like that? What's the big thrill? They all do it. I guess that's the female equivalent of men visiting escorts?

 

Anything that shows signs of interest as more than a friend is where I draw the line.

 

So if my gf is drunk at a club and hands her # out to another man, I won't tolerate it.

 

If she talks to another guy at a club...well, most likely that wouldn't be okay either. Unless it's a like a group thing, and the guy is in our group.

 

It's all about intent, not action. It's not the action (giving #, talking) that is so bad, but it's her intentions behind it.

 

This seems very strict but it's never been a problem my ex and I, since she was totally into me and I was totally into her.

 

If your girl loves you, then she wouldn't even care to look at another guy at a club.

[beatcuff]

i read this thread with amusement. the jealous is just overwhelming: exhibit A --- title of thread: what assault? oh wait there it is: on HIS ego.

 

she is obviously giving 'eyes' to these persons: exhibit B --- she gave her email to one of them. HELLO. 99% of men, unless his buddies bet him, will not approach a woman at a bar that is with someone AND give no indication of interest. why bother, unless the man loves rejection.

 

further if she is sitting at the bar whats the big deal if the person next to her starts to chat with her. i thought you go to the bar to SOCIALIZE.

[Baller25]

i read this thread with amusement. the jealous is just overwhelming: exhibit A --- title of thread: what assault? oh wait there it is: on HIS ego.

 

she is obviously giving 'eyes' to these persons: exhibit B --- she gave her email to one of them. HELLO. 99% of men, unless his buddies bet him, will not approach a woman at a bar that is with someone AND give no indication of interest. why bother, unless the man loves rejection.

 

further if she is sitting at the bar whats the big deal if the person next to her starts to chat with her. i thought you go to the bar to SOCIALIZE.

 

Yeah I think we all picked on the OP's white boy jealousy when he used the world "assault".

 

Thats a good point. The guys (myself included) never go hit up a girl with a bf unless there is some kind of signal as well as disinterest in her bf that's next to her.

 

It's 100% on the girl. OP is dating sloots ;/

[MissBee]

 

All women don't do this...well you said girls, so maybe therein lies the difference.

 

I have been to clubs with my bf and to be honest, maybe it's the way I carry myself as well as the way he does, but no man has "assaulted" me while at a club with my guy.

 

If I go out dancing with my gfs...first off I'm never sloppy drunk and if a man tries to pick me up I politely decline and leave it at that. Being drunk or tipsy has NEVER led me to giving out my number, kissing random men in a club etc. I've NEVER done this when single and worse when I'm in a relationship, it never happens. Why? Because I have decency, know how to carry myself and even when I'm drinking, I go into the situation knowing how much to drink, I go out with people who look out for me and I them, and my values, morals, boundaries don't completely go out the window.

 

I think the problem starts with those who drink too much and whose drinking leads to impropriety...as when I drink that simply doesn't happen so I can't relate to "slutting around" on account of alcohol. If you do that, chances are you have such a tendency already and alcohol just opens the door for you or is being used as an excuse.

Edited June 9, 2014 by MissBee