I prefered the lies

[bluenote]

I want to get opinion on this matter,

 

I have been strugling with a situation where my lady cheat on me, there were very perculiar things hapening for the last three years, like her mobile being off at irregular times and we had big fights over it. The worse hapened in December 2012. This incident just broke all the rules, she was pregnant at the time. What she did the evening in question after she returned from a month long visit at village. It was the first night back in the city and I also work out of town. The whole month had been very frustrating for me because she just did not have time for me even call text nothing, it was this and that excuse, so when she returned and text me I said I wont go to see her, but I did not mean it. Well a bit later that night I text her to say I am on my way to see her, this is when the nightmare started. She lied and tricked me telling me she is somwhere she was not, I wandered around looking for her like a mad person in the dark. She did not answer her mobile or reply texts that whole evening. She ignored me the rest of that night and whole of next day.

 

Now I was 100% convinced that she was with another man. my trust went totaly. Eversince that night, I was broken and full of pain. All she had to say was that she did not sleep with the guy whose name later came up. I forced her to tell the truth that what she says is impossible given the sequence of events of that night. Wel she gave birth in August last year and I accepted the baby, on advise of my mom then. I still strugle veru painfuly with this whole thing. I support the baby but I couldnt forget what hapened and the pain is just too much. All this time I couldn't maintain NC, I just could not.

 

I got advise here on LS to get DNA tests, which I did, and the boy and I are related. I am happy for that and I love him even more now. I told the mother that from that day, she communicates with my sisters or mother should she need anything for the baby and that she never contact me again in any way. This is not even two/three weeks,

 

Yesterday out of the blue she sent me seven texts, she admited that with the last incident she met the guy at the village and he wanted to sleep with her, but that he was with his girlfriend and that they didn't get a chance, they decided to meet in town and the night she was back was the night and she wanted to be rid of me so she could go sleep with him. She says that they never got to sleep together becasue his lady got hint and was with him. She says she suffers and has agony over it, that she loves me dearly and is in pain over what she did. She says she only intended a one night stand with him, she wants to be with me.

 

I am realy blank. This raises too many questions in my mind which I know will take me nowhere, I was aware of what was hapening that night I knew she was with a man because it was abnormanl what was hapening, there could be no other reeason with what she was doing the whole month.

 

I know it means nothing because it took her more than a year and half to come out with this half cooked concoction. However for her to say she wanted to and that they planned and replanned their thing means it was intentional, how can I ever trust her again its just as well she slept with him. I know its never going to work out between us but I dont understand what she means she loves me after doing somthing so bad and breaking all rules.

[Tayla]

1: You can no more force the truth out of someone then you can force them to lie. Its a human fallacy if you think you have power over someone.

2: Sure she can love you! Its her delusion. Let her be happy in that mindset. The reality is, she doesn't have a clue what love is.

3: Be a parent to your son. Setup thru the courts visitation and ground rules for parenting/visitation. This verbal bantering is not what the courts want to see in a co-parent goal.

 

given that you have a child, what advice would you give that child if they were in a volatile matter such as this? Then follow it.