Sweett Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I really want to give up. Why is it so hard for me to find someone and easy for others? My ex cheated on me and got me fired from my job and he gets married to someone he knew for a few months while it seems like I still suffer from what he did to me. Seems as if he got a blessing and I am being punished and I don't know why. I've tried to move on and "forget" all the hardship and emotional turmoil he caused but every guy is wrong. The latest is jobless and lives with his parents but yet he wants something long term with me and I don't see how this is possible with only my income!!! And the really sad part is he doesn't seem motivated to want to work. The guys that I met before him also had issues from alcohol, also living at home, or just plain jerks! I just get so down and depressed trying to find someone....is it supposed to be this hard???
HappyLove Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 It's hard for a lot of us out here! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just keep trying until you meet a good fit. 4
umirano Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Don't feel bad weeding out the ones without a job (or not trying hard to get a new one at least) and the ones who still live at home.
jennyc33 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Stop dating the bad ones. When you see a guy who has no job & no interest in getting one, lives with his parents and no interest in moving out & is not nice to you - then don't date them. Wait for a while, be single for a while until a good one starts knocking on your door. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you with respect and kindness. You can only be taken advantage of if you let a person do it. You deserve better than that. 2
Author Sweett Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Stop dating the bad ones. When you see a guy who has no job & no interest in getting one, lives with his parents and no interest in moving out & is not nice to you - then don't date them. Wait for a while, be single for a while until a good one starts knocking on your door. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you with respect and kindness. You can only be taken advantage of if you let a person do it. You deserve better than that. Thanks, i guess i just hate being single so much that i throw all my standards out of the window.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Thanks, i guess i just hate being single so much that i throw all my standards out of the window. Why? If you really take a hard look at yourself and where that fear comes from, you might just find some peace too. 5
Rar0 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Thanks, i guess i just hate being single so much that i throw all my standards out of the window. Single is okay if you occupy others
Rar0 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Being single is so much better than being with someone who's not on your wave 4
travelbug1996 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Focus on making your life better and enjoying it to the fullest. Then you won't be so consumed with finding a partner especially since that state of mind leads you to the wrong kind. I embrace the times when I'm single and embrace love when it comes. I actually luxuriate in my singledom. lol 1
Author Sweett Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Why? If you really take a hard look at yourself and where that fear comes from, you might just find some peace too. Well i turned 35 on thursday so i often feel like i'm behind other people and my timè is running out as far as having kids and getting married...just depressing at times!
DArtagnan2 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Well i turned 35 on thursday so i often feel like i'm behind other people and my timè is running out as far as having kids and getting married...just depressing at times! I understand what you mean. I seem to find those that are not so much all together upstairs, usually messed up from an ex or still not over their ex. Hang in there though, it will come through for you when you are not even looking. At least that's what people tell me.
DontBreakEven Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Sweet -- You are not alone. At all. I think about this all the time. I've had two engagements end on me. My most recent one, I saw her online dating a few months later, and within a week she had found a relationship. Really seems unfair after all she put me through that I am the one at home alone on a Saturday night typing to a forum, and she is out who knows what. But I'm just not worried about that. I am more just worried about me. I do want love. I am ready for it, but I also have reached the point myself where my standards are high. You say your standards have flown out the window, but they haven't as you are recognizing things and not putting up with things just to have somebody. I'd like to say "have faith, it will come!", but that's hard to say when we are in this position currently. I do agree with people who say to embrace being single. But then again, if you want to find somebody eventually, you will have to date and deal with all that comes with dating. I guess the best advice I can think of is to date, but try and keep the focus on you. If that makes sense. And that is not easy at all, I know. Hang in there.
jbelle6 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 This actually has ZERO to do with dating. You need to make your life full and happy so you don't feel the need to validate yourself by your relationship status. So what if you are single? Do you have kids? If not, you must have a nice disposable income to travel or take up interesting hobbies. Quit wasting your time with these losers and work on you, then you will find a quality man. No job? Come on!!! I have worked since I was 15 years old. Living with parents is ok if the parents need assistance or he is being practical and banking cash for a down payment on a home or business. Anything else...NEXT! 2
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