freebird31 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) ...since the break up. I broke NC about 2 months ago for a peace offering. It defintely helped a lot with all the false hope I was carrying around. Its been about 8 months since we have actually carried on a real conversation. My question is...ITS been over a year, can anyone tell me when I will fully recover? I cry sometimes still. I still miss him. I dont feel the pain i once felt when it was all fresh. I have came a LONG way after a year of this. WHEN will i ever be back to normal? 2 more years? How long does it take? He was my first love. does anyone know? I'm just tired of missing him /: I guess i just really thought that after a year, id be completely healed. But I dont feel healed. I still yearn for him from time to time. Edited June 7, 2014 by freebird31
Always Pondering Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Very similar boat as you friend It's been about 8 months for me as well in terms of a conversation and about a year and a month since break up. I've been in NC for about 5 months though. She was my first love as well, we lived together towards the end of the RS. I'm not fully over it for sure, I'd be lying if I said I was but I found the healing process to rapidly pick up after being serious about sticking to NC and actually making an effort to find my life again. I used to sit around thinking that if I just sit long enough then the pain would go away but I took some self-reflection and realized my life was a mess. So, I didn't really make any significant progress in healing until around the time I joined LS. The only thing I basically haven't done yet is enter into another relationship. The time is different for everyone, but for me the effort I put into this changes the amount of time by a lot.
Author freebird31 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 isnt it crazy though, how we are in pain and the break up has been such a heavy burdon on our lives, while for them its probably totally irrelevant and theyre probably indifferent to it all by now....... it sucks how one person is suffering while the other person seems to be perfectly okay. Well i dont know how he feels, or what the status is on his feelings. But the person who hurts more is probably the one that was more invested emotionally. sucks 2
kindofsad Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 It is totally crazy! I am 1week from a year since break up. I thought it would take me a few months to get over, boy was I wrong! I have no idea how long it lasts, just that I feel a heck of a lot better than I did 6 months ago and a billion times better than I did 11 months ago. Totally sucks :-)
BC1980 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I also used to wonder when things would go back to "normal" or "the way it was before." I've realized that wish would be impossible. I've had to many experiences in the relationship and, mainly, after it. I don't think it will ever be like it was because I'm not the same person. Going through grief changed me, just like it would change someone who lost someone to death. Life is all about evolving. 7
lil hoodlum Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I also used to wonder when things would go back to "normal" or "the way it was before." I've realized that wish would be impossible. I've had to many experiences in the relationship and, mainly, after it. I don't think it will ever be like it was because I'm not the same person. Going through grief changed me, just like it would change someone who lost someone to death. Life is all about evolving. I couldn't have said it better than the way you have. It is really sad that what you have stated about going through the grief changes you and not in really positive changes either. This is one of things that have been hard for me to accept. And as another poster commented, we go through all of this pain, heartache, and suffering and the dumper just walks away and it seems that their life is just wonderful. Why does the love for one cause so much suffering while for the other person they experience no ill effects? It is sad how much this experience affected me and not in many positive ways. Oh how I wish I could go back to the fun-loving, carefree, and happy person I was before. Now my life is tainted knowing how cruel love can be. 9
an_also Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Wow. Everything in this thread sounds like it could have been written by me. I'm also almost at a year also and nowadays I have a lot more good days. The last couple of days have been a bit low after a few solid weeks. Im also wondering if I'll ever be the same guy agin. Probably not. Lost my first love also. I still think about her every day but the frequency is decreasing. The one constant is that I have regret about how everything happened. Had I done a couple of things differently, would we still be together? I always ask myself that question. I'm really hard on myself and forgiving myself and making peace with those regrets seems like its never going to happen.
hidden_ua Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 3 years from breakup and 1 year to NC and man, i am still there with much more anger and silence. i was a guy with a smile on my face all the time but now, no one even says that this is me. had migraines issues and now OCD and back to this forum while i was going insane as my ex got engaged and i shattered even after 1 year of nc. anyways, nothing is going to be normal like before so just try to keep things normal the way you can now. best of luck
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