JenRochester0594 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I became friend with this guy from my hall this past semester. We've become really good friends and even though I'm not seeing him this summer (since he's taking summer classes at another college while I'm interning at the college I'm currently attending), we still keep in touch through text. When he friended me on Facebook, I noticed that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and when I asked him about it, he told me that they're going well but he's not taking this seriously in order to reassure me that he's still going to talk to me and treat me the way he did during the school year. But when my mom found out, she wasn't too pleased and she demanded that I talk to him less because I'm wasting my time on a guy who has a girlfriend. So my problem is, should I stop talking to him completely? P.S. We only talk once or twice a week because both of us are busy.
pygora1994 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 do you want to be friends, or do you want to be something else? If you don't have romantic intentions then you are not wasting your time. If your only intent is to work your way into dating him then you are. you should figure out what you want from him before you decide what decision to make. Just because he has a girlfriend doesn't mean that you can't be good friends with him.
preraph Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 This guy is intentionally stringing you along until he doesn't have anything better to do, so why you'd go along with that is a mystery to me. You will never be his preference or you already would be. You need to just move on. Mom doesn't always know best, but she's lived long enough to see this for what it is.
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 This guy is intentionally stringing you along until he doesn't have anything better to do, so why you'd go along with that is a mystery to me. You will never be his preference or you already would be. You need to just move on. Mom doesn't always know best, but she's lived long enough to see this for what it is. We're just friends at this point. He's cool with me talking to him and such but my mom is creating a hole in my friendship with him. And no, I don't want anything more that just friends. When I mean friends, I meant someone who I could talk freely with and hang out during my free time.
Ladiixmk Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Oh okay, well if you just want to be friends, and ONLY FRIENDS, with him, then why not? I have a guy friend who's the same - he would always ask to grab dinner with me, attend my concerts, etc etc, but then 6 months later I found out that he was seeing a girl (though we were only platonic). Even after I found out we still hang out, and the girl he's seeing knows this. It's no big deal to be honest, unless he's trying to make moves on you, then it's a big problem and pretty messed up.
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Oh okay, well if you just want to be friends, and ONLY FRIENDS, with him, then why not? I have a guy friend who's the same - he would always ask to grab dinner with me, attend my concerts, etc etc, but then 6 months later I found out that he was seeing a girl (though we were only platonic). Even after I found out we still hang out, and the girl he's seeing knows this. It's no big deal to be honest, unless he's trying to make moves on you, then it's a big problem and pretty messed up. Thanks Angel, that makes me feel better. Your guy friend sounds like mine- before school got out, we would have dinner ocassionaly and study sometimes in the school library together. Before he got back with his ex-girlfriend, he told me about her and at that time, she was already asking him to get back with her. He wasn't too sure at the time though. Now they're back together, he told me that since she's kind of possessive, he doesn't tell her when he talks to me. His girlfriend doesn't like it when he talks to other girls.
AF. Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I find this an awkward situation. You don't want to intrude on the relationship by potentially making the girl jealous. However, if the guy is constantly initiating conversation then why not? Obviously if he wants to move things further you should back off, but for now enjoy the friendship and companionship and catch up with him every now and again. I'm sure the girl will understand, especially if they have just recently gotten together.
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 I find this an awkward situation. You don't want to intrude on the relationship by potentially making the girl jealous. However, if the guy is constantly initiating conversation then why not? Obviously if he wants to move things further you should back off, but for now enjoy the friendship and companionship and catch up with him every now and again. I'm sure the girl will understand, especially if they have just recently gotten together. Hopefully she will. I mean, I don't talk to him every day so at the times I'm not talking to him, she could have all the time in the world to talk to him.
todreaminblue Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 He is taken don't set yourself up for any heartache, because he is taken the gracious thing for you to do , in light of your feelings fro him , is what your mum said, you cannot spend time with someone who is taken ,and continue to develop feelings and not have them returned, let him go, find yours and who is for you, when someone is in a relationship you must respect that status and bow out walk away cease contact in other words...good luck .... from deb another girls mum.......
jbelle6 Posted June 13, 2014 Posted June 13, 2014 I wouldn't. I find it weird that he downplayed the relationship and that his girlfriend doesn't know about you. I don't find guys and girls are ever really just "friends", one always ends up wanting the other at some point. If you are truly honest with yourself, do you or did you have any inclination for this to progress further than friendship?
Author JenRochester0594 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Sorry to reply back to you so late. At this point, I can't see us two progressing any further. He treats me like a friend and he didn't mention to me anything like moving beyond being friends before he got back with his gf. He still texts me and such so I'm not complaining at this point. And a few days ago, he revealed to me that he and his gf are not getting along again.
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