elseaacych Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Wow, has it been... seven months, almost? Yeah, since my first love (more commonly known as my Ex) broke up with me. (I was his first love too.) For those of you who don't know my story, we together 3.25 years, and he broke up with me, and was with a new girl six weeks later. Some people may feel like that's long enough, but he was out of town for a month, and Christmas fell somewhere in there I'm pretty sure... whatever. I kept my head up and didn't cry or beg, because it didn't seem to be the right thing to do. I went NC before I even knew what NC was. Anyway. I've heard nothing from him. Zero, zilch. Nada. I realize how lucky I am NOT to have that drama, but occasionally, when thoughts resurface, it hurts. Did I not mean anything to him? Am I not good enough to talk to? These, as you know, are silly emotional questions. But they're legitimate feelings I think we all have. Especially when you had a pretty intense (in a good way), relationship. What do you all think? What are your experiences? Did you ever have an ex just vanish into thin air? How long was it before you ever heard from an ex again? I guess I'm just having a lonely day, but I know I am far from alone.
Always Pondering Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I do think that those feelings and the occasional pointless questions are natural until we're completely over everything. You know my story since you've been in my thread before and it's a similar story except that we were together for two years instead of 3.5 and that my former partner found someone else two weeks instead of six. I wish I was as strong as you to be able to keep my head up high and not plead but I wasn't. I haven't seen her in more than a year and we haven't had a discussion with each other in about 8 months. So as much as I'd love to tell you how long it was before I heard from an ex, I can't! Today, my friend for some reason told me he ran into her, her parents, her boyfriend, and then told me about how they were having a good time. I felt angry because I don't know why he did that and because I felt angry. I would think that by now I wouldn't have cared but I guess I do. Today sort of scares me thinking of the possibility that the next time there is contact (if so), I may realize that I was in denial. I drove home with a death grip on my steering wheel since there was nothing for me to hit out of anger. I have had those "thoughts" only once or twice in the past several months but I did not feel hurt. It confuses me that I did not feel hurt and was able to dismiss those thoughts easily but I felt anger today. At the end of the day though, both you and I know that things improve over time and that they always get better. I guess today's just not a good day, hm? *e-hugs* I hope your lonely day gets better though! I know that once I workout tonight, those endorphins will be great.
FortunateSon Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I am sorry you are having a bad day, Elseaacych :-( To me it would be hard to believe that some one could have forgotten about you in 7 months after 3+ years together, even if it may feel like it. You are indeed lucky that you have not been offered breadcrumbs or involved in drama with your ex, even if on occasion the idea of hearing from them sounds nice. These feelings are natural and normal. I have not heard from my ex directly since December, but there was a bizarre sabotage attempt on her part when she stalked and contacted someone I was briefly seeing a couple weeks back(you may have seen the thread). I have been strict NC since December, and based on how toxic our RS was, I honestly don't know of any reason for us to be in contact again. She moved on 4 months after we split, so I would rather not subject myself to how happy she claims to be now. All of my long term exes have contacted me again at some point, but there is no written rule about it.
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