AnnaKate01 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Is this all just an easy let down? Did I get too clingy too fast? What should I do? I'll try to keep this brief and I'll try to not be confusing. Basically like many other doomed relationships start I started dating a close guy friend. I always considered him to be one of my girlfriends because I talked to him about everything and we would go and hang out just the two of us. Things shifted in the late fall when we both realized that we had feelings for each other but were dating other people. The girl he was dating was a on/off again thing for 5 years. They lived together at for a few years at one point but their relationship was extremely rocky. Another thing that complicated their relationship was he was still legally married. His and wife and had a bad breakup and the divorce was always a point for the ex because she knew that they couldn't get married if he was married. He remained married to the ex because legally and financially she did not want a divorce because she gets a lot of his income and etc. I was dating someone for a while but the relationship was at a standstill and we were constantly arguing. As soon as I started dating this friend things went really fast. I spent most of my time with him and even to the point where I had belongings that I left at his place because he wanted me to. We started having issues in March about me being in contact with my ex and then he slept with his ex which is a whole other story. I started to talk to my ex at that point and planned a vacation with him because I thought maybe we'd get back together. Between the planning of the vacation and the vacation my friend and I started to get to a really great place again. He was acting distant towards me this week and I asked what was going on and he said that he needs time and space because he's struggling to get over his ex ( who lives 1,000 miles) away and that he wants to finalize his divorce before he starts a new relationship. Also he was annoyed that everytime we had issues I was turning to my ex. He told me that he misses the friendship aspect of our relationship and isn't sure if we aren't meant to be. He said he is scared of opening up to me and getting hurt or hurting me and losing our friendship. He told me that I should start to see other people but then changed it to neither of us having physical relationships with anyone else or each other for the time being. My struggles with him and what brought this on was we've been dating for months and I didn't know where we stood as far as boyfriend/girlfriend or exclusivity and I'm not the type of girl who likes to have friends with benenfits. He told me emotionally after getting out of his last relationship that he needs time before he is ready to get serious. Is this just an easy way of breaking up with me? even though we aren't technically together.
pteromom Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 The girl he was dating was a on/off again thing for 5 years. They lived together at for a few years at one point but their relationship was extremely rocky. Another thing that complicated their relationship was he was still legally married. His and wife and had a bad breakup he slept with his ex he's struggling to get over his ex ( who lives 1,000 miles) he wants to finalize his divorce What part of this sounds like a guy you want to be in a relationship with? Let's see... - he has no history at all of any kind of happy loving relationship; they are all rocky and bad. - he's still technically married, AND hung up on his ex - he slept with his ex while he was sleeping with you - he doesn't WANT to be in a relationship Why hang onto him? FWB is all he is capable of offering to you. He is NOT capable of any kind of relationship you want. 1
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